The problem with Gertrude

Kenneling Gertrude, my Rottweiler, has been a problem recently because she paws and flings herself against the kennel door until it opens.

I like to keep the rottweiler kenneled when I’m away because of her propensity to eat cellphones, and after a week of successful rottweiler escapes, I get the brilliant idea to secure the kennel door with my U-bike lock.

This, of course, is a disaster: 1/3 of the time the bike keeps her in the kennel, 1/3 of the time she escapes and the other 1/3 of the the time I come home to this:

Fail.

A few days ago, I find my Rottweiler half-hung with a pool of dog drool and hair on the carpet in front of the kennel:

Turns out that she really hurt herself when she got her head/collar stuck that day. I noticed puss and bleeding and skipped Friday morning’s bail hearing to take her to the vet.

I’m standing in the vet’s office with both dogs, thoroughly convinced that they are going to call the police. Gertrude had three wounds around her neck from rubbing her skin raw, but the worst part was when the vet tech looks down and says, “And she’s also missing a canine tooth.”

I am mortified. She ripped a tooth out while trying to escape from the kennel?! What the hell?

A hospital stay, sedation, antibiotics, and $509 later, she’s back home, looking decrepit:

She destroyed the plastic kennel, but Judd gave me a metal crate that he had from his prior dog.

The metal crate works and Gertrude doesn’t even try to escape anymore…probably because she doesn’t have that many teeth to spare.