My mother and I are at a dive bar on University Avenue.
We are highly amused by the patrons – tired middle aged men nursing beers, an overweight woman with thick glasses and short shorts, and a coked-out twitching guy who was sweating profusely.
One of the bar-backs carries a cooler inside.
Mom: “What is that?”
Me: “A cooler.”
Mom: “I know that, but what’s in it?”
Me: “Oh, that’s probably for the meat raffle.”
Mom: “The what?”
Me: “The meat raffle.”
Mom: “Meat raffle?”
Me: “Yes, where you get a ticket and they auction off meat.”
Mom: “THEY DO NOT DO THAT HERE!”
Me: “They…do.”
She then launches from her seat and asks the bar-back if she can take a picture of the cooler full of meat. He’s horribly confused – who doesn’t know what a meat raffle is?
A Miamian, that’s who.
We kept having moments like that throughout the weekend – So many things that are normal in Minnesota are completely alien in Miami, like pull-tabs, beer backs for Bloody Marys, olives in beer, and short Kate Gosselin hair…
Madre Jansen was in town for the weekend from Miami.
I used her visit as an excuse to do all of the touristy things that I never have the initiative to do on my own, and it was fabulous.
We went just about everywhere.
We visited the Landmark Center, the historic downtown library, the Farmer’s Market, artist studios, bike shops, had daytime cocktails at the Turf Club, Townhouse Bar Bingo, live music at Arnellia’s, dancing at Hell’s Kitchen…etc.
It was fun, exhausting, and a great reminder that Minnesota isn’t such a miserable place to live (in the summer at least.)
Michael Jackson realness. A video posted by Dennis (@lowertownjnsn) on
We stumbled upon Grand Old Day by mistake.
The streets kept getting busier as we walked he dogs on Summit Avenue, and we eventually realized that there is a parade going on. We then saw signs for Grand Old Day, which is a local summer festival that I’ve never been to.
After dropping the dogs back off in Lowertown, we cab it to Grand Avenue and realize that it’s actually a huge parade.
Who knew?
I was both impressed and horrified by the kid cyclists – they did these high flips which looked incredibly dangerous.
The woman behind me in the crowd actually said, “We need to go, I can’t watch this anymore,” which also prompted me to leave as well.
Going to Grand Old Day made me realize how different Dallas will be.
I ran into about a dozen coworkers at the festival and recognized about a dozen more friends – whereas in Dallas I’ll be completely anonymous. It’s a little intimidating, although I like the idea of not running into exes at the bar. Hopefully I don’t mess that up.
#minnesota A video posted by Dennis (@lowertownjnsn) on
A rooftop break was sorely needed after the festival, so we went to Louis Ristorante, my favorite rooftop bar in St. Paul.
We sit down and notice that the crowd is a bit strange.
Mom: “What’s up with all these chicks?”
Me: “There’s probably an event at the Excel Center. Let me Google it… yep, it’s Bette Midler tonight. Hence all the old women and gays.”
The guy sitting across from us checked me out on Scruff, but I didn’t say hi.
Missed connection?
The rooftop was the perfect way to end the day, but the sky opened up before we got our food.
We were conveniently seated under the covered bar area, but some of the other rooftop patrons rode out the storm in style.
My mother almost missed her flight on the way home.
We leave the house shortly after 5 a.m. and find traffic completely stopped on the highway leading up to the terminal.
After a few minutes, I see people getting out of their cars and start walking to figure out what was going on.
It was a strange sight. (My tweet about this was picked up by Fox News!)
Turns out that a semi-truck tried to enter the airport but was too high to make the loop around the terminal. It had to be backed out of the airport down a one-way highway.
It was pretty late by the time traffic cleared and I was able to drop my mother off. Apparently TSA couldn’t handle getting slammed by all of the flyers and the security line was crazy.
By the time my mother cleared security, they were calling her name on the intercom. She ran to her gate just in time to see it close. Luckily the pilot was aware of the traffic situation and refused to fly until they let my mother and another passenger on.
It was close!
This is likely my mother’s last trip to Minnesota. It was a great weekend, and an excellent excuse to squeeze in all of the touristy exploring that I haven’t done yet.
Her next trip will be to Dallas this summer, and it’ll be a lot more exciting!
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