The Dallas St. Patrick’s Day Parade

I survived my first St. Patrick’s Day in Dallas, and it was a hot mess interesting.

The Dallas St. Patrick’s Day parade is by Southern Methodist University, which is about 3 miles away from the gayborhood. We were going to Uber there, but that idea was quashed once we saw that Uber surge pricing was five times the normal rate.

We ended up taking the train into the SMU area. Although I took the train all the time in Minnesota, this is my first time taking public transportation in Texas.

The train station we used is deep in the bowels of City Place, a skyscraper outside of downtown Dallas.

We enter the building and immediately see Timmy, a homeless meth head who is usually in the gayborhood. Unlike Mick Jagger, Timmy is frightening because he follows you and starts screaming when he is high. This makes for some deliciously awkward patio brunches.

So Michael and I see Timmy, exchange the “oh shit” look and scurry downstairs to the ticket machine. The entire time Timmy is following us while mumbling to himself.

The downward escalator at City Place is broken, so we have to go down 3-stories worth of flights with Timmy in hot pursuit. Luckily, he is slowed down by this couple doing a photoshoot in the stairwell.

Our good fortune continues at the ticket machines because we are camouflaged by a group of trashed sorority girls. They are screaming at each other while sipping cocktails. The bored security guards give them the side-eye.

It is only 11 a.m.

The train arrives before we are on the platform, so we run and squeeze into the last car. The parade is already in progress when we arrive. People are stumbling in the streets and walking around with personal bottles of champagne and Jameson.

The train lets you out near the end of the parade route, so we watched the majority of the parade at Twisted Root Burger. It was a pretty calm and family-friendly experience – packed with parents and children.

The end of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade near SMU in Dallas.

Floats at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade viewed from Twisted Root Burgers.

Chowing down at the Twisted Root Burger during the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

A massive semi-truck-type thing at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade near SMU.

The majority of the super-wasted college students were toward the middle of the parade route, which we found out later when we joined neighbors at Grub Burger Bar.

Our neighbors were all fine, but the Grub Burger Bar was a bit of a mess between the trashed 18-year-old waitress and multiple intoxicated women being dragged out of the bar.

We wondered whether the scene was a business decision – the bar made it easy as possible to purchase alcohol by not carding and serving visibility intoxicated people, but the security guards on the patio promptly booted those people after they paid for their drinks.

At least no one from our group got carried out.

The massive crowd in front of the Dallas St. Patrick’s Day concert.

A party in front of the Mattress Firm parking lot for St. Patricks Day.

It was a fun event, but I am grateful that we did not over-partake so far from the gayborhood. We’ll definitely train it next year too, and hopefully avoid Timmy again as well.