Jerk.

Last night I got home from work and found my neighbor, Yesenia, in front of the apartment building.

Yesenia lost her key a while ago, and hasn’t gotten it replaced yet – so she’s always in front of the building waiting to be let in.

On this night Yesenia looked a bit flustered and motioned me over as I approached the building. I assume she was drunk so I smile politely and walk past her and up the stairs to the front door of the building.

Yesenia stumbles behind me and says, gasping:
Yesenia: “You know me right? You know¹ that I live here right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Yesenia: “Okay. I just need to be let in…”
I walk in and she follows me into the building. She looks really discombobulated so I ask her if she’s okay.
Yesenia (gasping): “Yeah, I got the as – sim-muhh.”
And here I am feeling like the biggest jerk in the world for assuming that a woman having an asthma attack was drunk.

I walk up the stairs but Yesenia couldn’t make it past the second landing.
Me: “Do you want me to go to your apartment and get some help from your boyfriend?”
Yesenia (gasping): “NO! No, I’m fine right here…I’m (gasp) fine.”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Yesenia: “Very.”
I go into my apartment and decide that I should go and get her help anyway. So I walk down the hallway and realize that I don’t actually know WHICH apartment Yesenia lives in.

Yesenia comes up the stairs as I’m standing in front of her apartment and shoots me the worst gasping-glare ever.

Yeah, Oops.

So later that night, around 3am, I hear whistling outside of my bedroom window. I then hear a female voice that sort of sounds like Yesenia…
Woman: “WAKE UP NIGGA! I KNOW YOU AINT ASLEEP NIGGA!”
Who was this? Yesenia’s revenge? Or was that downstairs neighbor’s unsightly female friend who keeps throwing rocks at his window?

I sit up in bed to look out of my window when I hear something SLAM into the wall near my window. I spend the next hour or so keeping the dog’s face away from the window² and praying that no one was shooting.

Update: So the angry banshee outside of my window last night was probably not Yesenia because she just buzzed my apartment and I let her and three children in.  I also carried the baby stroller up the stairs…hm.

¹ Particularly odd question since we’ve run into each other at the laundry room before.
² I had to do this because whomever kept whistling…