Digging in the crates: Words of Advice from Law School Blogs

Here are some of the old posts by law student bloggers that I’ve found amusing and/or helpful. I’ve probably missed a lot of great posts – please link me to some of your favorite oldies.

Update: Here are the submissions:

Take up smoking. If you’re already a smoker, take up heroin. If you’re already addicted to heroin, just freebase the UCC. – Tort of Cockblocking: Advice for 1L’s

A Brief Taxonomy of Classroom Participation Strategies: Playing Possum – For gunners finding it particularly hard to get called on, feigned distraction and boredom can often provoke the desired response. Pretend to be asleep, or obsessed with your navel, or masturbating in class, and more often than not the professor will call on you, thinking you easy prey. Make him regret it. – Buffalo Wings & Vodka

I know that warm, musky space between professors’ ass cheeks is your natural habitat, but the class is blind graded; you’re not doing yourself any favors by kissing up, you’re just pissing off your classmates.- Law Bitches: Tips for 2L’s

Prof. Son of a Bitch: “If a Jehovah’s Witness comes to my door, do I infringe his free speech rights if I say ‘get the hell off my property, I don’t need to go to heaven’?” – The War Against All: Professor Son of A Bitch

Law school is no harder than any other school. The thing that makes law school worse than other school (note: NOT harder) is that it requires you to be one hundred times more organized if you want to keep your head above water. While some things in law school are relatively easy to bullshit, you can’t bullshit your exam. And to be able to NOT bullshit your exams, you have to be organized all semester. – Divine Angst: things I wished I’d known LAST YEAR

Law school is bullshit. It’s like being back in high school, only with a lot bigger egos and a lot more alcohol involved. The Barristers Ball? It’s fucking prom. If I have to listen to one more bitch describe her damn dress to me, I’m chopping her up into pieces and stuffing her in my locker. Bar Review? No one fucking goes. It’s not that law students don’t drink. It’s just that we are all closet alcoholics. Apparently it is not socially acceptable to be drinking from a flask in the middle of Con Law. Nor is it socially acceptable to go to bar review, order a pitcher of beer and then drink it all – directly from the pitcher. At least I’m getting smarter: everyone that sits around me just thinks I drink a lot of coffee, no one knows that it is just straight gin in my travel coffee mug every morning. – Law Bitches: Diary of a 1L

Torts prof: There is a limit to what the human liver can process. I think its like 200 times your body weight in alcohol…

1L: Fortunately, the more you drink, the more you weigh so…

Torts prof: Yeah, but there comes a point where it has to yell out: I’m your liver. I quit.
Butterflyfish

On Anonymous Blogging: 1. It doesn’t work anyway. As I said, most professional (or school) bloggers move within a world circumscribed by a very limited number of real-world walls. This means your anonymity is inversely proportional to the actual value of figuring out who you are. 3 years of hell

Too chicken shit to bring this directly to me, little boy? Are you all so frightened by my words that you cower in your little blogs and pretend to be all powerful? Boy in Suit: Drama

Ok. I just got ass raped. That’s right, raped, right up the ass. Who raped me, you ask? Why none other than the college bookstore. Naked Drinking Coffee