The Fake German Restaurant

I dread going to German restaurants.

It is a reoccurring mistake – I see a German restaurant and get nostalgic for my grandmother’s cooking. So I waltz into the restaurant, get offended by the prices and cheesy decorations, and inevitably leave bitterly disappointed.

German cuisine is highly regional.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of German restaurants in America are Bavarian, (and I am from Rheinland.) It is like going to an “American Restaurant” in another country and finding out that it is Toby Keith’s or Hard Rock Café.

My mother and I recently went to Biergarten in Downtown Dallas.

It was a mess.

The waitress grew quickly annoyed by our questions and tried to spin the strange menu.

Waitress: “So the owner of this place is a super-successful restaurateur and he wanted to give a ‘fresh spin’ on the concept of a Biergarten.”

Mom: “But this is not a proper Biergarten, and you wouldn’t really see this stuff on a menu in Germany…”

Waitress: “I don’t know anything about Germany and this place is not trying to be a real German restaurant, . We are more known for our beer anyway.”

The beer selection was underwhelming, but I did not want to irritate her any further, so I chose a Bitburger (which the local liquor store also sells.)

Bitburger Beer at downtown Dallas’s Biergarten

Although the “Biergarten” was disappointing, it was fun to see the big decorations in front of the place, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

Giant Christmas Tree ornaments in downtown Dallas, Texas.

Dallas Big sign in front of the downtown Omni hotel

Giant Christmas Tree ornaments in downtown Dallas, Texas.

We tried to continue our touristy journey through Pioneer Plaza, but we were kicked out on arrival.

A Cattle Drive statue in Pioneer Plaza, in the Convention Center District of downtown Dallas, Texas. Bank of America Plaza is in the background.

Apparently there were tornadoes heading for Dallas and the park had to close abruptly. The timing was pretty good, because it just started raining when we got home.

Almost a dozen people would be killed by tornadoes that evening, making the fake German restaurant experience seem very insignificant the scheme of things. Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson.