It is 5:30am. I have been asleep for exactly 3 hours.1
I wake up because I feel hot dragon dog breath on my cheek. I open my eyes and glare at Harley.
Harley (nudging me): “I need to go pooooooop.”
Me: “It’s snowing outside. I need sleep.”
Harley: “And I need to release! I need a walk. Now.”
Me: “Nono, you don’t understand. It is cold and SNOWING outside! Hold it! BACK TO BED!”
Harley: “Pooopy time. 5:30 a.m. is POOOPY time!”
Me: “Seriously it is SNOWING!”
Harley: “Listen. You have two options: let your balls drop, get off your ass, and take me outside, or kennel me and mop up my brown river of stink tomorrow.”
Me: “I will kill you.”
So when we get outside…
…Harley stops and looks at me like,
Harley: “Wait! It’s gross and cold…”
Me: “SEE! I told you so! God dammit! I told you so!”
Harley: “I’m a dog. I can’t actually understand a word you say to me.”
Me: “Understand this: you dragged me out of bed and I’m murderous. YOU BETTA SHIT.”
He certainly understood that.
1Joel and I saw “Paranormal Activity” yesterday. Midnight show.
5 Comments
idwsj
October 10, 2009 at 12:26 pmWow. Snow already?
The sidewalks are remarkably clear!
Jansen
October 10, 2009 at 12:38 pmIt only stuck on the grass for some reason…
Mariel
October 10, 2009 at 9:13 pmI’m not gonna lie, I totally thought of you this morning when the CNN lady said it was 17 degrees over there. When I went to lunch, it was a “chilly” 56 here in Texas. But hey, you could build a snowman! That’s always fun. Harley could help.
Jansen
October 10, 2009 at 10:58 pmMuhaha @ the thought Harley helping with anything 😉
Outline of 2L Fall
April 5, 2015 at 7:25 pm[…] Early snowfall, more snow, and plague weather. […]