MacGyver and the art of ass busting.

It is easy to fall into a funk during finals.

Joel and I had a conversation about law school on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner. It was a familiar whine-fest and the gist was:
“It’s funny how law schools don’t tell prospective students how irrelevant “prestige” is or how shitty our employment prospects are. This is something you realize halfway through, when you’re stuck.”
I felt like a student who found out his online technical college wasn’t accredited. This was an expensive waste of time. Shitty-shitty-bang-bang, wah-wah-wah. The whining and apathy probably wasn’t easy to listen to, but luckily Joel couldn’t figure out a good way to kick me out of the car at the nearest bus stop.

I try to take the dog on at least one 5 mile walk every day during the few hours of winter daylight. These extended walks are perfect for thinking things through. During today’s walk I reminded myself of why I chose to go to UMN and not a free school:

1. Prestige does matter. The arbitrary rankings create a very real pecking order and stigmatize students from poorly ranked schools. When I run into a student who goes to Bumble Law School I am reminded of the sweeping sense of inferiority I felt as an undergrad at the University of Miami. The most important part of being at a (relatively) prestigious school is not wondering “what if?”
2. The cliché is misstated, but the gist true. You can’t really do anything with a law degree, but the most important thing that is taught in law school is the art of ass busting.¹ My job prospects as a BA in English and History only involved an espresso machine or a price scanner. I may still end up working with espresso machines or price scanners, but the difference is the work ethic and professionalism I have acquired in law school will allow me to advance quickly in whatever company I end up in. ²

The ass busting skill is the most vital one to develop in law school. Most of the other stuff is superficial and unspeakably irrelevant in the real world.

I am MacGyver, and I attend a school of MacGyvers.

This is exactly why this is going to be a stress-free finals season – it’s not about the grade, but about working hard and learning the material. The point is not being able to make a rocket out of a ballpoint pen and a paper clip better than the next guy, but to be able to make the rocket out of the ballpoint pen. Once we get outside of the McGuiver academy we can use our skills in the real world, and good things will happen.³

¹ Work hard, smart, and crushing the competition with a smile. One of the best ways to teach people to work hard is to find the smartest students and grade them on a curve. Even the C student in that situation knows how to bust his (or her) ass, and will be fine in the real world. This is why the vast majority of UMN students pass the bar, and go on to succeed in a variety of random career fields.
² What is outrageous is that one of my orientation speakers told me this last year – she said that the point of law school is not the perfect grades, the journal position, or national ABA moot court team – the point is to learn how to work hard and graduate. I guess I just had to come to that conclusion myself…
³ Method vs. result… akin to the true athlete and the person who ruins their health for the temporary beach body.