This is Bad

We started the evening with the mean girls at Alexandre’s cocktail lounge.

The mean girls are actually retirement-age men who park themselves at the bar in the afternoon and insult each other into the evening.

The quotes are amazing:

Statler: “Did Jack get a haircut?”
Waldorf: “No, it’s just falling out.”

Statler: “Can you hold your head up? You look like a turtle!”

Statler: “You guys are being nice for once. I’m suspicious. Is it my shirt?”
Waldorf: “No, that shirt is nice. It actually fits you for once.”

Statler: “I’ve been on vacation for a week! Did you guys miss me?”
Waldorf: “We tried, but failed.”

Statler: “I don’t call you names! I just make broad statements that are generally offensive.”

We eventually left the comedy show at Alexandre’s and joined some neighbors at JR’s, a bar across the street.

Pride flags hang over JR’s bar in Oak Lawn.

A bald older man sits next to us. We notice that he is a little tipsy, but this isn’t unusual at JR’s.

Later on that evening we are making fun of the bad karaoke at Round-Up when the tipsy older man from JR’s walks by the bar, trips, and whamps his head on the sidewalk.

Police and medics in front of the Round-up Saloon.

All of us cringe.

Jill: “That guy totally just hit his head on concrete!”
Me: “This is bad.”

If you’re going to crack your head on the sidewalk, in front of the Round-up Saloon is a great place to do it. Although everyone in the karaoke room will Snapchat you on the ground, the hyper-alert bouncers will call the ambulance pretty quickly.

The reflection of the Round-up Karaoke room while paramedics help an injured man in front of the Round-up.

Dallas EMTs help a pedestrian in front of the Round-up Saloon.

The fire station is only one block from the bar, so our JR’s friend was surrounded by EMTs within a couple of minutes. Cops and an ambulance followed shortly thereafter.

Security response times are pretty quick on Cedar Springs Road these days. After the Pulse shooting, Mark Cuban donated $1 million to pay for Dallas police officer overtime, so cops are everywhere. The perceived increase in security has created a Bourbon-Street-like atmosphere on The Strip because people feel that it is safe to stumble around wasted.

Although the gay bars on Cedar Springs are heavily patrolled, car thefts and muggings continue just a few streets over. The cops haven’t figured out how to tackle the everyday crime in the area, but you’ll get rescued pretty quickly if you injure yourself in front of a bar.