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overheard

Morbid obesity is knocking

Jill and I took a break from work and went to Caribou:
Me: “I have all this fruit at my desk…”
Jill: “…and?”
Me: “…and I’m eyeing the banana nut bread.”
Jill: “Well it is reduced fat!”
Me: “Yeah, but not reduced enough!”
Me (to the Barista): “May I have a large dark roast with room?”
Barista: “And?”
Jill: “Get the banana nut bread!”
Barista: “Yes! Get the banana bread. It’s delicious.”
Me: “No! Morbid obesity is knocking and I am not answering! Just the coffee please! God, I feel like my disc is herniating1 or something…”
Jill: “You sound like an old person applying for SSI.”
We comprised with me trying one of the free pastries, but I stuck to my guns.


1 We deal with a lot of petitions for social security disability insurance benefits and supplemental security income, and the stereotype is an overweight claimant with a herniated disc and a fibromyalgia.

4 Comments

  • carpecactus
    July 31, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    nothing wrong with morbid obesity – it just sounds bad. Besides it’s mostly genetic, not banana bread related

    Reply
    • Jansen
      August 1, 2009 at 3:26 am

      Oh, try and tell that to Jillian Michaels.

      Reply
  • MBW
    August 1, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    You seem kinda obsessed by this, Dennis. I’m considered “morbidly obese” (thank you, Europeans, for screwing with the traditional indigenous native american diet), and yet moved an entire six-person household today, by myself, including sofas, quarter-sawn oak dining room table, mattresses, etc. And all I needed was a few Advil (oh, and I’m twice your age.) Seriously, you need to rethink this a bit. You can in fact be fit and fat – in fact, overweight people live longer than underweight (and even “normal” weight” ones.)

    Just hitting you upside the head with a small clue stick, J. And you know, despite my moving to Ithaca, I’ll still be reading you, even when you piss me off with your tomfoolery.

    Reply
    • Jansen
      August 2, 2009 at 2:00 pm

      Haha, I use “morbidly obese” as a shorthand for “weight gain” that’s all!

      Reply

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