Jill and I took a break from work and went to Caribou:
Me: “I have all this fruit at my desk…”
Jill: “…and?”
Me: “…and I’m eyeing the banana nut bread.”
Jill: “Well it is reduced fat!”
Me: “Yeah, but not reduced enough!”
Me (to the Barista): “May I have a large dark roast with room?”
Barista: “And?”
Jill: “Get the banana nut bread!”
Barista: “Yes! Get the banana bread. It’s delicious.”
Me: “No! Morbid obesity is knocking and I am not answering! Just the coffee please! God, I feel like my disc is herniating1 or something…”
Jill: “You sound like an old person applying for SSI.”
We comprised with me trying one of the free pastries, but I stuck to my guns.
1 We deal with a lot of petitions for social security disability insurance benefits and supplemental security income, and the stereotype is an overweight claimant with a herniated disc and a fibromyalgia.
4 Comments
carpecactus
July 31, 2009 at 5:31 pmnothing wrong with morbid obesity – it just sounds bad. Besides it’s mostly genetic, not banana bread related
Jansen
August 1, 2009 at 3:26 amOh, try and tell that to Jillian Michaels.
MBW
August 1, 2009 at 11:30 pmYou seem kinda obsessed by this, Dennis. I’m considered “morbidly obese” (thank you, Europeans, for screwing with the traditional indigenous native american diet), and yet moved an entire six-person household today, by myself, including sofas, quarter-sawn oak dining room table, mattresses, etc. And all I needed was a few Advil (oh, and I’m twice your age.) Seriously, you need to rethink this a bit. You can in fact be fit and fat – in fact, overweight people live longer than underweight (and even “normal” weight” ones.)
Just hitting you upside the head with a small clue stick, J. And you know, despite my moving to Ithaca, I’ll still be reading you, even when you piss me off with your tomfoolery.
Jansen
August 2, 2009 at 2:00 pmHaha, I use “morbidly obese” as a shorthand for “weight gain” that’s all!