I forgot to mention the cat crap! The Mountaineering store by school had a box of “Cat Crap” on the counter:
It’s lens cleaner. I’ve never heard of it, but it sounds like the biggest brand-naming fail since Athlete’s Foot.
I finally broke down and bought a face mask.
Stella and I were walking home when the wind smacked us in the face. We stopped, had an “oh hell nah” moment, and went to the Mountaineering store near the law school.
I bought the face mask for $20 and a thermal hat and neck band for $2 each.
The low tonight is -20. According to the local news, tonight is Minneapolis’s coldest night in five years.
The news coverage of the weather is hilarious:
Perhaps all the national attention actually makes us content: The rest of you, you don’t know cold like we know cold. We’ve got salt. We’ve got snowplows. We’ve got stoicism. We can handle it.
The best part of the story was this:
Zielske, who likes to say she “married into this weather,” said her parents love calling her from Nevada to tell her the Twin Cities weather forecast.
“They’re more obsessed with my weather than I am,” she said. “They have no Minnesota connection — they were born and raised in British Columbia and then moved to the Pacific Northwest, and now they live in Las Vegas — but I think they like to gloat that they have a child who is managing to exist in what they consider this kind of deathly, unfriendly, inhuman terrain that we call home.”
My mother does that too! She lives in Miami but is always aware of the Minneapolis weather. She’ll call from the beach and ask, “Is it cold enough for ya?”
I still love Minnesota. Seriously. But tonight you can find me inside, in bed, under 4 blankets, wearing a sweater and two pairs of long johns.
My legal writing instructors posted Blue Booking tips* on TWEN. Hopefully they are useful:
Me (on phone): “Oh, it snowed about four inches today. I know because I’m looking at a table right now.”
The things one misses in law school!
At the University of Miami we had a campus lake. The lake had alligators.
I called the biggest alligator “Henry” but some other students called it “Donna.” I saw the alligator sunbathing almost every morning as I walked to class.
Well, while I was in law school land, up here in Minneapolis, someone lured the alligator out of the water and beheaded him!
Donna the endangered crocodile, beloved by University of Miami students — at a very safe distance — was slaughtered as a thrill kill, university police said Thursday.
UM police and state wildlife officials on Thursday arrested a 16-year-old in the butchering and beheading of the nine-foot animal in a campus canal early this month. They’re looking for an adult who they say also took part, luring the reptile with fishing chum, tying it down and chopping it up.
The crocodile suffered, authorities said.
”They used knives to kill it,” said UM Police Chief David Rivero. “It was a very disturbing killing of the crocodile.” (Via Miami Herald)
I’m appalled and apparently, very out of the loop. There is a facebook group and everything…
I don’t understand how this is even possible. The University of Miami has more cameras than a high security prison – a response to V-tech I think – walking across campus feels like filming for a reality TV show.
There also rent-a-cops, real-cops, international students, and stoners crawling the campus at night. How can someone behead an alligator without being noticed?
… and if they can take out Donna-Henry, imagine how safe the students must feel.
*** Update
I can’t even attribute my ignorance to law school. I completely missed this during my last semester of undergrad:
I mentioned that Rocky Joe was litigious. How litigious?
There’s a hilarious exchange happening right now on In Session. Ashleigh Banfield has Rocky Joe’s sister on the phone.
Banfield points out that Rocky Joe is lawsuit happy. He has sued everyone, and all the cases have been dismissed.
Here’s a typical Rocky Joe dismissal:
In this matter, filed January 1, 2007, Plaintiff sued President George W. Bush, Judge Phillips, the Sixth Circuit Clerk, the “federal government,” and the State of Ohio. Plaintiff alleges a deprivation of his Sixth, Eighth, and Fourteenth Amendment rights pursuant to 42 U.S.C. § 1983. Plaintiff alleges “a conspiracy in furtherance of a conspiracy and a direct attempt to delay, impede, and obstruct justice”; in other words, his prior lawsuits have not been dealt with in the way Plaintiff would like, and George W. Bush and the Sixth Circuit were complicit in permitting this travesty (it is unclear what Ohio has done, other than being the state where the City of Cincinnati is located).
Plaintiff’s complaint is full of invective against non-defendant federal and state officials, police officers, the victim in the murder of which Plaintiff has been accused, and pretty much every one else except soldiers in the armed forces. Procedurally, Plaintiff has demanded Judge Varlan’s recusal and entry of default judgment against all defendants-despite the absence of evidence any defendant has been properly served.
Here (and in all his pending cases), Plaintiff is seeking monetary damages from government entities or officials. As stated herein, his claims are frivolous, malicious, offensive, and patently without merit. Moreover, his complaint fails to state a claim.The defendants are all immune and thus this Court does not have subject matter jurisdiction, as it has pointed out to Mr. Houston on numerous occasions. Plaintiff’s claims also appear to be time-barred…*
Banfield then asks the sister, “Do you see how this doesn’t help Rocky Joe’s case?”
What’s hilarious is that the sister doesn’t get it… “Well we sued George Bush because…”
Banfield looks shocked, but refuses to engage with the stupidity and asks another question.
On Westlaw: Houston v. Potter. Slip Copy, 2007 WL 5238976. E.D.Tenn.,2007.
On LexisNexis: Houston v. Potter, 2007 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 39898 (E.D. Tenn. May 30, 2007)
The trial-of-the-week on In Session is the Rocky Joe Houston murder trial.
I’m watching the cross examination of Rocky Joe’s wife (Nancy Houston). Apparently Rocky Joe was very litigious. The prosecutor keeps asking her “was this suit successful? What about this one?”
None of the suits went anywhere. Nancy keeps saying “No, no, I’m not sure.”
Nancy Houston seems resigned. I half expect her to say,
“Sir, I have no idea. My husband was a paranoid man who thought the government was after him. He gets a speeding ticket and then sues George Bush. What am I supposed to do?! Some men have football, but my husband had law suits. So, no, I wasn’t paying attention to the law suit of the week. Rachael Ray was on okay? Stop asking me!”
“Oh my god that idiot…”
Rocky Joe and his brother Leon are on trial for killing a police deputy and a ride-along. An old fashioned shootout in front of the farmhouse:
Jones, 53, and Brown, a 44-year-old former police officer on disability retirement, died May 11, 2006, in a shootout with Rocky Houston and his older brother Leon in front of the Houston family farmhouse on Barnard Narrows Road south of Kingston. The brothers claim self-defense. (Via Knoxnews)
The original news story was more vivid:
According to the TBI, the deputy and Brown were still in the patrol car in the Houston’s driveway when the two suspects began firing shots into the vehicle with a high-powered rifle. One neighbor claims he heard at least 20 shots fired.
Rocky Joe and Leon were injuried. Rocky was arrested at a hospital, but Leon jumped out of the ambulance and fled through a cemetery. A brief manhunt ensued, shutting down a few schools…
The most dramatic part of the case was the testimony of Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Darinka Mileusnic-Polchan. She described each shot by stabbing an arrow through a mannequin.
It was gruesome. The doctor made it very easy to visualize each bullet entering and ripping through the body. A photo gallery of the trial is here.
High drama. I see why In Session selected this case.
The trial turned out to be, as Professor L would say, “sound and fury signifying nothing.” The jury returned an odd split verdict:
A jury couldn’t agree Friday afternoon after three days of deliberations about Rocky Houston’s guilt or innocence on most of the charges in the men’s deaths.
The split verdict marked the second hung jury in the case. Another jury deadlocked this summer on his brother’s guilt or innocence.
The jury found Rocky Houston not guilty of first-degree murder or facilitation of any other charges in the death of Brown. They couldn’t decide whether Brown’s death amounted to second-degree murder, voluntary manslaughter, reckless homicide or any type of felony murder.
Jurors also couldn’t agree on charges of first-degree murder, second-degree murder, or most other lesser charges in the death of Roane County Deputy Bill Jones, except for facilitation of voluntary manslaughter.
Special Judge James “Buddy” Scott indicated he’d declare a mistrial and said he’ll set a status hearing on the case. (via KnoxNews)
At least In Session has a built-in sequel…
I read the New York Times every morning in undergrad. The Times was available for free at the University of Miami dining halls.
The Gamma house has a Times subscription, but this winter the unread papers are amassing in the foyer. I breakfast with network news now.
I was packing my gym bag when my mother called.
Me (opening my blinds): “…and it’s snowing here.”
Mom: “And you’re still going to the gym?”
Me: “If I used the snow as an excuse not to leave the house –“
Mom: “ – then you’d never go anywhere.”
Me: “Exactly. Not until March at least.”
The scene outside of the house:
After the gym I went to the student union and continued re-reading The Street Lawyer.
I first read The Street Lawyer the summer before I started high school.
I didn’t have access to Law & Order and Court TV during my summers Germany, so Grisham was the only way I could get my legal fix. My copy still has the Deutsche Mark price sticker on it.
The plot is only vaguely familiar but the book is still exciting as any Grisham novel. A significant change is that I now notice the novel’s shrill call to public interest law. I obviously didn’t pick up this theme as a 13-year-old…
I think public service element is preachy and distracting, but it fits the novel’s premise: A young lawyer leaves his big-law associate position to become a street lawyer for the homeless. He then sues his old firm, the firm goes after him because he stole a file…and krawall & remmidemmi ensues.
According to the Jobsrated.com rankings, a career as a Paralegal (#17) is vastly more desirable than being an Attorney (#82). Why? The Paralegal’s Blog attributes the disparity to stress:
While lawyers rake in an average of $109,207, compared to a paralegal’s $46,155, being an attorney comes with enough stress and anxiety to bring the rating down to 82nd place.
I think the ranking is ridiculous. Saying a paralegal job is better than being an attorney is like saying people should opt for teaching high school drama because movie actors get brutalized by TMZ.
The roads are iced over, the wind chill can reach to -30, and yet I still see bikers every day.
I’m not as bold. My bike has been parked in the basement for the past month. It’ll stay there until things have thawed.
Saturday night Jamie and I went to Tickles for his friend’s birthday.
Jamie: “This is like a supper club.”
Joey: “Yeah, definitely.”
Me: “Uh, what is a supper club?”
Joey and Jamie: You’ve never been to a supper club!?
Me: “I’m pretty sure they don’t have those in Miami…
I think they spent 20 minutes explaining what a ‘supper club’ is. They couldn’t really describe the difference between a supper club and a restaurant, so I was confused until about 5 minutes ago when Wikipedia-ed it. Oh Wikipedia…how I love thee… So what is a supper club?
A supper club is an American dining establishment generally found in the Upper Midwestern states of Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Michigan.
These establishments typically are located on the edge of town in rural areas. They were traditionally thought of as a “destination” where patrons would go to spend the whole evening, from cocktail hour to enjoying night club style entertainment after dinner.
They feature a casual and relaxed atmosphere. Supper clubs can still be found in the Upper Midwest but they are now simply restaurants rather than the all-night entertainment destinations of the past.
Oh. So it’s a restaurant!
Tickles is advertised as a gay piano bar…but eh. Think of a gross, indie Applebee’s. Take out the fun lamps and wall decorations. Then add a piano, cheesy string lights, gays, and staff it with annoyed, hissy waiters.
We left after a few hours and went to the Gay 90’s. A drag queen performed Beyonce’s Diva. It was amazing. I thought it would be the nightlight of the night until we went downstairs and saw an impromptu version of Single Ladies…
…and the Diva drama continued:
Jamie and I saw “The Spirit” today. Here’s Jamie’s take at Chipotle:
The most surprising thing to about my first Minnesota winter isn’t the cold, but the darkness. These pictures are from around 5pm:
We were warned during orientation: “Winter is miserable. It’s dark when you go to school, and it’s dark when you come back.”
It doesn’t help that the law school classrooms are on a sub-level…
Summer was equally bizarre – when I first moved in August, I was surprised that the sky was still bright at 10pm.
But this isn’t exactly 30 Days of Night. The early nights are healthy. I go to bed earlier and get up earlier to maximize my daylight time. And clubbing? The sun sets at 5pm. Most clubhouses are empty until midnight. By that time it has been dark for 7 hours. No thanks.
In the lobby of the movie theater:
Manager: “Can I help you?”
Me: “What happened to the three cops you had stationed in theater 10? It’s ridiculous in there. People are screaming at each other and running through the isles.”
Manager: “Sorry about that. There’s only so much we can do. I’ll send the cops back in. Talk to me after the movie and I’ll get you some comp tickets.”
Jamie and I saw The Unborn tonight. The theater was full of Bebe’s Kids. There were three fully armed cops (vests, pistols) cursing out tweens throughout the movie. Ghettotastic. The second the officers left the theater erupted in chaos.
Got two free movie tickets out of it though!
Oh, and the movie? B-horror movie at best. Stupid premise, gratuitous cameltoe, and a poor man’s Megan Fox. Don’t believe me? Compare Megan Fox with Unborn star Odette Yustman. Yep. The full snark and pictures are over at Im Kino.
Jamie only drinks 1% milk, which is unacceptable coffee creamer, so I went to the Slum Stop (Quick Stop) for some half-and-half.
All the half-and-half at the Slum Stop was expired so I walked to the gas station a few blocks down the street.
The gas station is run by a pair of Middle Eastern brothers. They know me because I’ve stopped by with Maverick a few times.
The items for sale at the gas station are usually cheaper and fresher than the Slum Stop, and I have no idea why I don’t go there first…
There was a middle aged white guy in the gas station store who let me in line first. He had a thick Minnesota accent.
I thanked him, paid for my half-and-half, and as I put my money away I heard the white guy greet the Middle Eastern clerk:
Clerk: “Hello.”
White Guy: “Hola, Como estas?”
I looked back and exchanged a knowing “bitch please” look and smirk wit the clerk.
I could hear the clerk respond as I left,
Clerk (sighing): “Fine sir. How are you?”
