Tonight Jamie will host a meeting for his softball team. He wants to serve cocktails, so we went to the liquor store.
We are near the refrigerated beer aisle when I say,
Me: “Why bother with Cocktails? You should just get some Milwaukee’s Best! It’s classy.”
And of course there was a toothless semi-homeless man nearby, and of course he started talking to me:1
Toothless: “What’s wrong with Milwaukee’s Best?!”
Me: “Nothing. It’s the business.”
Toothless: “That’s right!”
Toothless then goes to the end of the aisle and says,
Toothless: “Come here. Let me rock you world.”
A homeless man offering to rock my world? I couldn’t resist!
I walk over to the fridge, and Toothless pulls out a 20-ounce beer can of some trashy brand I’ve never heard of.
Toothless (holding the can of TrashLite): “You see this stuff? It’s only $1.34. You see the Coors? It’s $2.88! It’s over a dollar more! AND! Look!”
Me: “Oh, it’s 11% alcohol.”
Toothless: “Exactly. Get two of them and it’ll F-ya-up on the cheap.”
Me: “I’ll keep that mind.”
The toothless man grabbed a few cans of TrashLite and started walking off.
Toothless (Calling back to me): “Trust me! It’ll rock your world! Drink two of them tonight and call me in the morning! You’ll tell me I’m right.
Me: “Will do!”2
1 A rule of life is that bloggers attract The Crazy. Every time.
2 And no, I did not buy any TrashLite Beer.
8 Comments
somewhatreasonableperson
February 28, 2009 at 9:53 pmdrinking seems to be a theme lately around law school circles…
Lawingenue
March 1, 2009 at 8:15 pmBefore I met my awesome husband (complete with a full set of his own natural teeth), I used to occasionally attract the toothless wonders and once I even attracted a man with no nose – just a band-aid covering that spot where it used to be. Toothless wonders wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t feel like that had to smile big for you all the time!
Shantelle
September 26, 2010 at 11:24 pmI met a direct descendant of Jesus on the train the other day. He told me as a law student I was about to become a servant of the crown of England and was therefore his sworn enemy and subject to death as a traitor.
He told me he is 13th generation American and his family helped overthrow the British. I told him mine did too, and suddenly we were best friends.
Dude! You’re looking svelte on your new masthead!
Jansen
September 27, 2010 at 12:11 pmThank you! I’m all about the glamour shots. (and here we thought Fergie had the market on airbrushing!)
I try not to have extended conversations with the crazy. Gets me into trouble.
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