blawg

UMN law school starts so late (Sept. 8th!) that I forgot that orientation has already started for most schools.

And I just love reading about the excitement and the blunders because it reminds me that orientation is a comedy of errors for other people as well.

A few things for the 1Ls:

Remember my five tips for orientation:

1. Dress appropriately – first impressions are important
2. Check the hormones – this isn’t a Maury episode.
3. Check the ego – it’s likely that you’re not the smartest cookie in the room anymore.
4. Don’t overshare – you’re not on Dr. Phil
5. Hold the hooch – this is professional school, not a Pitbull video.

And some advice for the new law school blawgers¹ out there:

5 ways to stay out of trouble:

1. Use nicknames and composites

Give your professors and peers some privacy or Google’s cache will come back to haunt you.

We don’t really need to know that your Torts professor is named Professor Palsgraff. Professor Palsgraff is probably a nice person, but your impression of him and his teaching style may change during the semester, and your blog will still pop up under a search for “Professor Palsgraff” long after you’ve edited your entries or even after the entire blog is deleted.

There’s also a difference between writing “Professor Tort’s class is boring” and “Professor Palsgraff’s class is boring.” One statement is your opinion about a class, whereas the other statement can be viewed as your opinion about a professor – and although everyone from your school will know that “Professor Torts” is “Professor Palsgraff,” the difference is the level of respect and professionalism you show by omitting his name.

This goes double for peers. Your classmates are more likely to read your blog than your professors² and more likely to stir up controversy. A simple way to avoid drammy is to pick 2-3 random names to use for composite characters.

This way you are writing about what happened without writing about a specific person. This avoids anyone from getting their feelings hurt and achieves the privacy and respect essential for maintaining a blawg while still passing the character fitness test for the bar.

On this blog I use “Jack” and “Jill” as composite characters. Sure, my classmates know who “Jill” was for any given quote, but the point is that no one felt targeted when they became “Jill.”

Remember that a law student blogging about other law students and professors is really a future attorney writing about other future attorneys and actual attorneys. The less often you offend your peers, the easier your professional life is going to be.

2. Ignore The Annoying.

There’s a gay³ cliché that applies perfectly to law school: “I don’t like that bitch, I don’t see her.”

You will have at least one annoying person in your section. I promise. You will be amazed how such a smart person can say and do such incredibly obnoxious things.

You will be offended, bitter, tired, and cranky at least once during your 1L year. I promise this as well. This the day when The Annoying will pop up and do something to really grill your cheese. And you will be upset, but that doesn’t mean you should blog about it.

The way to deal with The Annoying is to ignore them. An annoying person is sort of like a fart: it’s disruptive, embarrassing, and unpleasant, but no amount of bitching is going to make the smell go away any faster.

Bitching about someone in a blog post or to a law school friend is not going to make the situation any better and will only prolong your negative state.

So when someone is annoying: smile, ignore it, and let it go.

The bitchy, gossipy alternative is just going to create ill will and drama.

Example—Last year I wrote about the crazy section that I had Criminal law with. (At my school we have double-section classes).

And let me be clear: that section was filled with loons.

But towards the end of the school year the blog got an unexpected bit of publicity, and some people from that section read about my section’s less-than-stellar opinion about them. Random students from the other section then plotted to purposefully piss me off just so I would blog about them.

Now, their plans were foiled because they discovered my blog on the last day of school, but it would have been a rough semester if they caught on earlier.

The point: Ignore The Annoying, and avoid the drama in advance.

3. Bitch not about thy burden.

One of the rare times that I hung out with my section-mates last year was one day in between classes.

Several of us had to finish the reading for the upcoming class, but we couldn’t get any reading done because one of our section-mates sat at the table for 40 minutes and whined about how much he hated the class, the professor, and life.

The nice thing about law school is that your peers are going through a similar experience. Sure, there’s always going to be the rich kid with a job offer and the ivy league law school prep courses, but the majority of law students are going through the same stresses and pressures as you.⁴

You are not alone.

But just because you’re not alone does not mean that your peers or blog readers will indulge your whining.

I think what separates those who enjoy their first year and those who are miserable is attitude. You can choose to get things done, or to wallow and waste time. Sure, some people will suffer mental health issues and need help, but others will simply worry themselves in an unnecessary and counterproductive way.

Walking around offended – by your peers, workload, lack of sleep, or Lindsay Lohan – is not going to do anything for you besides increase your stress and ruin your health.

And trust me, the self-pitying blog posts, tweets, facebook status updates, and in-person bitching is not going to help you feel better because it is hard to feel good when you’re dwelling on how much things suck.

Don’t let your blog become place that reinforces negativity. Try to write critical rather than negative posts. Instead of vague complaints, think about what you’re really trying to say, and ask yourself if it’s worth posting.

4. Think Kylie, not Gaga.

There are multiple ways of delivering the same message. You can be fun and provocative without being vulgar.

Most law schools and employers will understand that a personal blog is a non-professional thing (as opposed to unprofessional) but that doesn’t mean you can unleash the crazy.

The litmus test: Would you be mortified if your law school’s dean read your post?

Note, the test is not “would you email this to the dean?” – I wouldn’t send an email about my dog’s bowel problems to anyone – but I also wouldn’t care if people read it. That’s the difference.

5. Keep it real.

Law students aren’t stupid. While no one wants to read posts that are negative or angst filled, we also don’t care to read sugar-coated posts written with an eye towards employers.

The “I love everyone, always” bit comes across as real and graceful as answer from Ms. Teen South Carolina:

If you are fake, then the best case scenario is that your classmates will think you are dull. The worst case scenario is that they’ll suspect you are insincere and well, stupid.⁵

And remember to blog about your experience. Orientation can be a blur, and it’s definitely something you’ll want to remember. If you are worried about your peers or finding time to spell check, simply write your post in outline format and save it as a draft. The point is to preserve the memories, not the published post itself.

You can clean it up and publish it later if you want.

¹ Who I have been impressed with by the way.
² And professors will read too by the way…
³ Chris Rocker also has a variation on the theme: “Keep it cute or put it on mute.”
⁴ There are law students who excel in law school while raising families. And although they possess super-powers, I guarantee you they spend more time being productive than stewing in their own misery
⁵ At least the US Americans…