Fees Committee Archives - Memos and Mirth

Final Deliberations (and the Cake!)

March 12, 2009

I just finished a marathon 6-hour meeting for the Student Service Fees Committee.

This was the scene in hour 5:

Yes. I think that’s Ben¹ sleeping.

The meeting passed my 9pm guestimate, but it was still significantly shorter than last year’s deliberations, which went until 3am. These are the final deliberations for the Student Services Fee Committee. A lot of money is at stake so spirited debate² ensued…

The debate was interrupted by a laughing fit in my corner of the conference table because of The Amazing:

I realize that the cake looks less-than-amazing in that picture, but it was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake before I demolished it. And it was amazing. Seriously. Angels sung. It was the kind of cake that changes lives. The cake was good enough to promote world peace. That cake could even make Chris Brown stop beating Rihanna.³

A committee member caught me casting amorous looks at my leftover cake and started laughing. And of course, I started giggling too.⁴
Committee Chair (annoyed, on 3 hours of sleep): “What is going on down there?”
Me (flustered): “Sorry, I’m going through things. This cake is so good.”
Committee member: “Yeah, he’s like in love with it.”
Another Committee member (Ben): “You should blog about it!”
I pull out my camera, and the Committee Chair rolls her eyes in disgust.⁵

We started around 5pm, and ended after 11pm. I’m tired, goofy, and still gitty from that cake.

¹ For the record Ben’s not actually sleeping, although we did catch him not paying attention during one resolution. Hm hm hm. Pesky laptops! Ben is also the person who suggested I take a picture of The Amazing.
² Who caught the Pelosi quote? (She’s been using the phrase for a while.)
³ Yeah, I went there.
⁴ I realize this sounds grossly unprofessional, but it’s not. I swear. This is a relaxed student committee. To put this in context, the entire committee had all just finished watching David After Dentist and Scarlet Takes a Tumble about 5 minutes before. Classy, I know. But it was a 6-hour meeting and we needed breaks.
⁵ Yes, you did!

1L Spring Summaries

Best Week Ever #5: disease, fees, and fart machines.

February 22, 2009

I mentioned that this semester feels busier. That was an understatement. Comparing first semester to second semester is like comparing Enya to a Revlon Ball.

My classes this semester are hilarious. Here’s a rundown:

Property: Even compared with the other UMN faculty, Professor P has a monster CV. I was expecting a reincarnation of Ben Stein in Bueller’s Day Off ¹, and was pleasant surprised. Professor P is formal, but not boring.

Property is an extremely practical course. I now know what my obligations are if I find something valuable, and how to successfully capture any foxes (or bats) that I might come across…

The reading is interesting so far, but we start Estates and Future Interests this week. Our SSG has made several dark references to Future Interests, so we’ll see if my enthusiasm survives the week…

Civil Procedure: Civpro never disappoints. On Wednesday the law school’s auditorium was turned into a court room for a motion hearing. The case² involves a pastor who came to Minnesota for a religious conference. The pastor dumped pipe ashes into a pot on his friend’s deck. The ashes started a fire that burnt down the friend’s house.

The angry homeowner was present Wednesday and sat next to one of my housemates. The awkwardness was delicious.

The losses calculated by the homeowner were creative. The plaintiff priced his used mid-90’s model cars using 2008 models. The plaintiffs also wanted compensation for a lost job and wages³ at $320/hour for the husband, and $125/hour for his retired wife.

The judge questioned the compensation:
Judge: “One of the arguments was that the loss of job isn’t compensable under Minnesota Law. Do you think the jury could connect the fire with the loss of a job?”
Attorney: “You’re speaking to a defense attorney your honor, so my answer is absolutely not! But consider the source…”
Corporations: The reading for this course is a bit bizarre. Each assignment starts with what is essentially definitions in paragraph form. “Shareholders do this. A proxy contest is this. Etc.” After five pages of definitions comes the case, which is usually a scandalous hot mess (porn emails, sexual assaults, swearing, swindlers…etc.)

overheard

Best of the fees committee

February 7, 2009

Paintball is safer than bowling.
Paintball club: “If you look at our injury statistics, there are 0.2 injuries per 100 participants. That makes paintball safer than golf, jogging, and bowling.”

Woah…
Marge: “Oh the weather is nice is it? Enjoy the rest of the weekend while we sit here and die.”