I reviewed property between dog walks.
I ran into my downstairs neighbor during my first walk. I was surprised to see him awake and intoxicated so early…no-so-good morning to you too! He gets this gooey look when he sees my dog and starts cooing.1 I smile politely and keep it moving.
The neighbor’s debauchery was the soundtrack for today’s property review. The final is tomorrow.
Harley’s second walk was spurred by my apartment building’s fire alarm. I immediately thought of how horrible it would be to have to call the dean and say, “Hi, can I write my exam? Turns out I lost laptop in a fire yesterday…”
I grabbed Harley, my property books, and laptop and skipped out of the building. There was no way in hell I was going to miss another final due to some unexpected remmidemmi…
I refuse to be that kid twice.
I threw my school stuff in the car and took Harley on his second walk.
The building was still intact when I came back. The cause of the alarm was the downstairs neighbor’s burning cooking. Downstairs neighbor was in the hallway shouting “CALIFORNIA!” when I came back. I resisted the urge to shout “ITS ALL ABOUT FLORIDA FOO!”
I decided it was time to finally cook a legitimate meal. I think I did alright:
Yes. I know. Mad culinary skills! And I only2 burned the rice…
Harley and I just got back from our third walk. We were at the end of my street when we ran into a middle-aged man with a dog.
He gave me the look.3
I smiled politely and kept it moving.
I turned the corner…and he was walking the other way, so I thought it was a done-datta…
But of course two blocks later he’s behind us and insists that our dogs meet.
He tells me that the dog was his partner’s idea and was really interested in my walking schedule. He walks around this time every night you know?
Oh really? I’m sure your partner is well aware of that too…
Now, maybe I’m being cynical. Maybe he’s a perfectly normal, social person and I’m just the snotty 20-something that assumes every 40 year old wants him.
That could be…But I have somehow managed to establish myself as prime territory for the married, mentally handicapped, and fast-food workers. Oh my goodness.
I’ll work on appealing to normal guys after finals…
1 You’d think it’s the crack, but other people do it too…maybe Harley’s just cute?
2 And I only set off my apartment’s fire alarm…I wouldn’t want to steal the neighbor’s thunder…
3 Okay, so that video that I linked has a pretty raunchy title, but it describes what gay men go through PERFECTLY – “it’s a very violating gaze that literally eats your soul…it’s a penetrating gaze that goes to your heart of who you are and hurts.” – welcome to my world… also, what he says about eye contact is EXACTLY what happened. Bah…