In mid October I was over 200 pounds again so I recommitted myself to Jillian Michael’s “Master your Metabolism” regime.
…and then a week passed.
I eventually chased down the wagon, climbed back on, and recorded my weight every morning on this here dry erase chart:
I was in high school when I watched Supersize Me. At the time, I ate at McDonalds twice a day, every day. The movie didn’t phase me, and my drive-thru habits continued. 1
After reading Jillian Michael’s “Master your Metabolism” my grocery list turned into that of a hippie yoga teacher, but drive-thrus were still the norm when I didn’t make time to stop at the grocery store.
My eating habits consisted of fruits, vegetables, and fresh meat mixed with fast food and vending machine “food.”
I realized that my eating habits reached the disgusting level last week during my summer school final exams. I felt queasy and sleep deprived, and my stack of bluebooks was surrounded by cups of vending machine coffee2, two bags of pretzels, a bag of generic vending machine salted trail mix, and a box of Mike & Ikes. Sure, I had healthy food at home, but this crap was somehow in front of me.
Sometime between my Professional Responsibility exam and my Wills & Trust exam I decided this had to stop.
That day I decided to ditch the vending machine food and the late night fast food trips.
On Saturday, Jill and I were pulling a marathon work day, and we decided to take a break and fetch lunch. I decided to shake up the new “healthy” diet with a strategically timed trip to Culver’s.3 I figured that a burger wouldn’t shake things up too much…
…and I was wrong.
We get back to work, I eat the burger, and twenty minutes later we hear a loud cranking and gurgling sound.
Jill: “Oh my god, is that your stomach!?”
I give her a pathetic, panicked look and flee to the restroom.
Culver’s was officially axed from the diet.
Today, I axed all the other fast food restaurants. I saw the movie “Food Inc.” and I think it finished the diet change that Jillian Michaels started.
Jillian described how disgusting most food is, but it is one thing to read about how gross food is, and it’s another thing to see it.
The reason why Supersize Me didn’t change my eating habits is because I lost weight on my straight-McDonald’s diet. Supersize Me didn’t disgust me because I knew that fast food was made from poorly treated, hormone pumped animals and chemically engineered potatoes. So what?
Food Inc. answered the “So what?” question.
I pull two apples from my bag at work:
Me: “Ugh.”
Jack: “What?”
Me: “These aren’t organic so you can see the pesticide residue at the top of the apple. Jillian Michaels would not approve…”
Jack: “Ew, yeah. You’re gonna to have to wash those.”
Me: “But the sink is so far away… I should just…”
Jack: “Don’t. Just go and wash them. Stop being lazy.”Fine.
So I’m walking down the hallway to the bathroom to wash the apples and decide that it would be a good idea to juggle them.1 I haven’t juggled anything since third grade so it was only a few moments before I launch one of the apples down the hallway and give chase…
The apple flies past the cafeteria doors and I almost plow into a janitor before snatching up the apple like a baseball.
Janitor (calling by back into the cafeteria to another janitor):“Hey, Marty! The interns are playing fetch again!”
I grunt, flush, and scurry away…
1 It’s Saturday, so the office is fairly deserted. I don’t juggle fruit during the week…
This week started with my oral argument. The argument went well, although the practice was a bit of a hot mess.
The oral argument was the last of this semester’s “special projects” – ie , briefs, papers, statutory interpretation assignments and all of the other random that terrorize our schedules…
This week also started with an “intro to OCI” session, which was hilarious. The career counselors basically said, “OCI is going to be a disaster for 75% of you guys, but for the top quartile, it’s going to be great!”
Well, isn’t that dandy?
It feels like some sort of gate opened up this week because all the things that I’ve been kept in the dark about were finally explained.
First semester I felt like the school purposefully kept 1Ls ignorant1 about really important things. Career services? Oh worry about that later. Employers aren’t even allowed to contact you yet – you’re worse than dead to them. OCI? Don’t worry about it. Summer jobs? Petitioning law review? Later. We’ll explain that later.
Well, this is the week that everything was explained. I now know what to expect for the next eight months and it is such a relief.
Finals are next month. Immediate after finals is a 2 week journal hazing petitioning period. This summer I’m working full time while taking Professional Responsibility and Wills & Trust.
At the start of next school year I may get to do OCI, depending on whether my grades are good enough for employers to interview me. If my grades tank, then I’ll get to start the semester without running around in a suit. Shucks.
Knowing what to expect for the rest of year is great because I can prepare accordingly. I don’t think this view is shared by some of my classmates because a lot of people are crabby at Mondale High…
In order to avoid joining the ranks of the cranky, I made a list of the five things that kept me from being stressed out during my first semester:
After I made my list, I made sure that I did all 5 things this week. I read ahead. I bar hopping with friends. I studied at cafes. Basically, I worked hard and had fun and by the end of the week I was intolerably chipper again. I love it.
This upcoming week my diet and gym schedule is going to get an added boost because I bought a Jillian Michaels book:
And homegirl scared the crap out of me. Jansen is 110% organic now. Yes, the McDonald’s boy has gone organic. Go ahead and laugh. While you’re laughing I’ll be crushing some flax seeds…
1 Okay, it’s very possible that I was the only one unawares…