Becoming a subway rider was one of my biggest adjustments as a new D.C. resident.
I was a bus and bike commuter back in Minnesota, but quickly ditched public transit in Dallas. The roadway congestion in D.C. can get pretty gross during the week, so it was time to return to public transit.
Getting a card for the D.C. subway is relatively straight-forward, but there were a few surprises:
Yesterday I decided to take the camera to BestBuy because it’s still under warranty. So I hop on the light rail and ride it for 30 minutes to the Mall of America.
I get to BestBuy, explain to two different managers what the problem is, and wait patiently while they try to figure out their computer system…
Associate #1: “George, why isn’t this working?”
George (Associate #2): “I dunno. Manager?”
Manager: “Uh, let’s call Ron, manager #2…”
Ron (Manager #2): “Uh…that’s weird.”
Associate #1: “What are my hours for tomorrow? Can I get a mall pass?”
Ron: No. Walk around.
Manager #1: I walked around yesterday, it wasn’t that bad…
I’m standing there with my beauty pageant smile, thinking “wtf mate?”
The team fixes their computer glitch and calls the Geek Squad worker to look at the camera.
Geek Guy: “Hm. Looks broke, yo.”
Ron then tells me to go get a new camera. Yippie!
I bought the Flipcam for $179.99. It’s now $129.99.
The swank new HD version is $179.99….so I ask the manager if I can get the new version (because I knew that for laptop warranty replacements they look at the price, not product…) Ron says, “Sure!”
Hooollleration!
So this is where I fuck it up: Ron the Manager is giving me the receipt and the new camera, and I ask him if my old cord will work on the new camera.
Ron: “Oh, the cord won’t work will it? I guess you have to get the old version of the camera.”
Me: “Can I just get the new camera without the cord?”
Ron: “No. When we send it back to the manufacturer without the cord they charge us.”
Me: “How much is the charge? It’s a $50 price difference. The cord can’t be $50. I can pay for the charge. Can you look it up?”
Ron: “No.”
Me: “Well, do you sell the cords?”
Ron: “No. Go fuck yourself, thanks.**”
Crapola. Ron yanks the receipt and camera back. I cry a little inside.
So I take the 30-minute train ride home with my broke-ass camera. I then toss my room (like the KGB) and of course the cord isn’t there. That means the cord is in Miami…somewhere.
I then hop on a bus to Rosedale, to go to another BestBuy. The plan: try a sob story about Ron the Pissy, and if that didn’t work, just get the older version of my camera and take the $50 loss….but…
The trip to Rosedale was a little scary…. there was (among other things) the angry, speeding bus driver, and the med student in the front row screaming “WHEN YOU’RE DEAD YOU’RE DEAD!” into his phone…
…issues.
I eventually get Rosedale and find the store. The squat customer service lady gives me the ‘fuck you’ look and says (essentially):
“I don’t know what Mall of America’s Big Box was smoking. This is a service warranty, not a replacement warranty. Fuck you. We have to send it for repair. Wait two weeks. Go wait in the Geek Squad line. NEXT!”
The Geek Squad guy shipped the camera out and said he’ll probably call me. If not, oh well. Heh.
Okay, so, the next problem was getting home. Rosedale is a far-ish suburb…and it’s already dark.
I roam around a bit and eventually find a bus parked at a transit center. I ask the bus driver if his bus goes “to the university, downtown, or to the train”, the bus driver is non responsive, but this small, spritely woman on the bus says, “Yes! This bus goes to the 48th street stop for the train! That’s where I’m going!”
So I get on.
Mistake!!
Turns out that she read the schedule wrong. I realized this when the bus rode past Macalester College… in St. Paul.
The bus driver eventually stops the bus and asks us where the hell we think we’re going…
“To the 48th street stop!” the woman says.
Bus driver: “I don’t stop there. That’s bus 64H, this is 64B! Get off. Take the 54 to the airport. You offend me with your stupidity.”
Oops.
So we eventually get on the 54 bus, which takes us to the airport…
…what makes this annoying is that the airport is two stops from the Mall of America. I would have saved two hours by just taking the hour round trip back to the freakin’ mall…. although that would mean returning to Ron the Pissy… (but at least then I’d have a camera?)
The train eventually arrives. I take the train to the Stacks, hoping I don’t get shanked…
… I then walk to Carlson and leave with Jamie to go to Punch! Pizza.
Of course I bitch about the metro-transit/best-buy adventure in the car….
I had never been to Punch! Before. It’s co-founded by Caribou Coffee guy…think Chipotle: The Pizza Store, but not quite California Pizza Kitchen…
Jamie thought I was crazy, but the decorations in Punch! are scary… for example, the grizzly heads hanging from string above the drinks…there were also these dudes:
They are almost on the level of the schizophrenic lady who decorates our local McDonalds…
** Ron didn’t actually say that last part…his bitchy attitude did.