It is 5pm. I don’t want to go out, but I have to.
I already RSVPed for the Outlaw happy hour and told people I would be there, so my presence is mandatory in that “don’t be flighty” sort of way.
I shower and have a sing-a-long with the dogs.
After I perform Hot Chip’s “take it in” and Beyonce’s “kitty kat” to a confused set of dogs, I feel ready.
I walk to my car and see a cloud of crows hovering over my Nissan ala B-horror movie. All that was missing was ominous music and a husky voice over: “This March, terror hits Minneapolis! Chainsaw Zombies II: The Reaping.”
This is the best picture I could manage to take with the blackberry before my fear of crow-crap and Chainsaw Zombies set in:
I arrive at the The Eagle without getting bludgeoned and make the rounds while avoiding the awkward eye-darting of law professors. I then join the mass of law and grad students in the video room and watch the… entertainment.
After a few hours of amusement and hot-messitude, Jeremy and I leave The Eagle on a mission to find contact-friendly eye drops. We eventually find the eye drops at a Target after rebuffing beggars at the downtown St. Paul SuperAmerica.
By the time we find the eye-drops we no longer want to slum it at St. Paul bars, so we zip back to Minneapolis and sit down at Palomino, swank skyway restaurant in downtown Minneapolis.
Our waitress at Palomino is a Zooey Deschanel lookalike but I resist the temptation to request a song with my margarita.
At a nearby table, a woman with a cute bob-cut tells Zooey about her fiancé. We are disappointed when the hair plugs/blazer-with-sneakers fiancé arrives.
Jeremy and I swap stories about the Saloon and watch the drug dealers on Hennepin from our-second story seats. There is rapid-fire talking, short pauses, wine, and greasy pizza.
We spend a few hours at the Saloon, accidentally dose the video bar in Jag, and then trek home without further incident or hint of chainsaw terror.