moot court Archives - Memos and Mirth

Finishing the Brief

February 18, 2010

I spent the majority of yesterday popping pseudoephedrine pills¹ at Wilde Roast while finishing the final draft of my Moot Court brief. I felt really sick, but this “awful” had to be finished. If Webster’s dictionary had an illustration for the word “tedious” it would look like this:

I think the hypo for the moot court brief is boring and the procedural posture is awkward: an interlocutory appeal of a denial to suppress a subpoena.

Um.

Yeah.

Exactly.

I have completed four oral arguments on this brief, and my last one is this coming week. Although my brief could be better utilized as a weapon to beat skinny-pants-wearers, I am so overjoyed to finish with Moot Court.

I spent some time this week watching real court proceedings in Anoka, which are vastly more interesting than things in the State of Moot.

Watching real lawyers argue also gives me a new appreciation for how important oral arguments are and how easy Moot Court is. If a lawyer can – with a straight face – ask a judge for leniency for a defendant who had a 2.9 BAC when he terrorized his wife with a gun, then I can slap on a tie, waltz in front of my legal writing professors, and advocate for some make-believe Moot Court clients.

Unlike the raging husband, the Moot Court clients aren’t standing next to me. There’s no sobbing wife, angry mother, or threat of jail time. The lack of stakes makes Moot Court feel like a very charmed exercise. And yes, I just said that.

¹Tylenol Severe Congestion. But I’ll let you know when I start using illicit drugs.

2L Spring

Red-eyed oral arguments

February 2, 2010

Yesterday I had two oral arguments for moot court. I spent the majority of the afternoon holed up in the library’s computer lab to prep.

There wasn’t a good reason for me to be in the computer lab since I left my student ID in my gym bag and therefore could not print. I think I just like scribbling holdings and doctrines on pieces of paper while watching more prepared students print.

Here was the view:

That’s Riverside Plaza/The Stacks, a sprawling public housing complex that houses America’s biggest population of Somalis. The building feels like the Death Star is looming over the law library…which felt oddly appropriate during my oral argument prep…
I called Lens Crafters between my oral arguments because my eyes have been blaring-red lately and people are starting to suspect that I’ve lost it.

Me: “My eyes have been really red lately when I wearmy contact lenses and I’m wondering if it’s something I’m doing.”
Optometrist: “Are you following my cleaning, rubbing, and storing directions this time?”
Me: “Yes, yes!”
Optometrist: “Hm. Are your eyes getting dry when you wear contacts?”
Me: “They shouldn’t be. I’ve been going through ClearEyes like mad…”
Optometrist: “You’ve been doing WHAT?”
Me: “…uh…using ClearEyes… you know, the eye drops?”
Optometrist: “…yes. The eye drops you’re not supposed to use while wearing contacts…”
Me: “Doh.”

Outside of the oral argument room I ran into Jill, my opponent.

Me: “Apparently you’re not supposed to use ClearEyes with contacts.”
Jill: “Oh duh! There are special eye drops for contacts…”

Well crap. At least I learn something new every day?

2L Fall / dogs / picture of the day

Busy, busy

October 27, 2009

After finishing the tax midterm I turned around and began fixing my brief for moot court.

I have been parked in my living room going on 10 hours, and Harley is not quite sure why I am home so much. He keeps shooting me glares like, “Bitch, where’s my biscuit?”

The ridiculousness ends tomorrow (until finals that is), thank goodness.

Law School – 1L

My first oral argument

April 1, 2009

I had my first oral argument yesterday. It was a ‘practice‘ argument in front of my legal writing professors, but still formal enough to require a suit and a leather folder. Fancy. I know.

The real argument is next week. We will argue before clerks who will act as “guest judges.”

I am lucky enough to be paired with someone who has the same understanding of the assignment: We both view the oral argument as a “conversation with the court” and not a gunfight at the judicial O.K. Corral.

We “served” each other with updated briefs, and kept the other aware of our prep time. This is why we addressed the same issues and didn’t talk past each other in court. No blood letting, or bitchyness. Our reputations are intact.¹

Other students aren’t so lucky. The worst rumor is that a student² has spent 10-hours- per-minute preparing for the oral argument. It’s a 10 minute argument… so yeah, that’s 100 hours. I refuse to believe that. Because, well, that’s sad.³

Although the oral argument is was a lot of fun, I am still petitioning journals instead of applying to moot court. I think a journal will let me explore the academic side of law.

I figure I can get my practical experience through internships and volunteering. And besides, if both of the journals I petition for reject me, I’ll end up in the general moot court anyway. So there’s a chance I’ll have another oral argument sooner than I think.

¹ The people who get into nasty, unnecessarily competitive bitch-fights with opposing counsel are ridiculed accordingly. I think part of performing well in law school, at least at UMinnesota, is not alienating your peers with your drama.
² Jill.
³ I’m all about being thoroughly prepared, but there are so many better uses for 100 hours worth of time, ie, outlining, networking, working out, having a life…etc. Plus I doubt an attorney (esp. in a Criminal law case like ours) has 100 hours to practice a 10 minute oral argument, unless it’s before the Supreme Court…even then…and its a pass/fail course by the way.