Jill and I took a break from work and went to Caribou:
Me: “I have all this fruit at my desk…”
Jill: “…and?”
Me: “…and I’m eyeing the banana nut bread.”
Jill: “Well it is reduced fat!”
Me: “Yeah, but not reduced enough!”
Me (to the Barista): “May I have a large dark roast with room?”
Barista: “And?”
Jill: “Get the banana nut bread!”
Barista: “Yes! Get the banana bread. It’s delicious.”
Me: “No! Morbid obesity is knocking and I am not answering! Just the coffee please! God, I feel like my disc is herniating1 or something…”
Jill: “You sound like an old person applying for SSI.”
We comprised with me trying one of the free pastries, but I stuck to my guns.
1 We deal with a lot of petitions for social security disability insurance benefits and supplemental security income, and the stereotype is an overweight claimant with a herniated disc and a fibromyalgia.
