overheard Archives - Memos and Mirth

Still Got It

August 10, 2020

The sidewalk in West Virginia Avenue NE in Washington DC

It’s about 7 a.m. and I’m walking Ingrid by the side of Gallaudet University on my way back from Starbucks. I have my headphones in — focused on my audiobook and distancing myself from other pedestrians.

The street back to Ivy City is West Virginia Avenue NE, which features an odd morning mix of dog walkers, joggers, prostitutes and drug dealers. A guy about my age exits a yard, crosses West Virginia, and starts walking diagonally toward me. The guy says something to me, but I have my headphones in so I pretend not to hear him and keep hustling forward with the dog.

The guy gets into a SUV and drives off.

We are still walking along West Virginia Avenue a few minutes later when the SUV reappears and slows down. The guy rolls down his window and waives to get my attention. I stop and take out my headphones.

Guy in car: “Are you interested in me at all?”

Me: “…pardon me?”

Guy in car: “Would you be interested in a guy like me at all?”

I,

am,

mortified.

I smile, mumble something about having a boyfriend and keep it moving. That was quite possibly the most awkward pickup ever, but apparently I still got it? 🤷

overheard

Overheard in the Elevator: Nashville, Mexico

November 23, 2017

We live in a pretty tall high-rise, so the elevator rides can get rather long. No one talks around mixed company in the elevator — all conversations quickly end if anyone else enters.

Kids are the exception. They always talk, and it’s usually hilarious.

Life

Overheard this weekend

February 26, 2017

A view of downtown Dallas from the Trinity River

It was an eventful weekend. Here are the quotes:

I’m sitting in front of Starbucks, waiting on Michael, when a heavily made-up middle-aged woman approaches and riles up the dogs.

Blanche: “Oh how lovely!”
(the dogs completely lose their shit)
Blanche: “Your chihuahua looks like my baby! His name was Steven St. Domingo! He’s dead.”
(she then picks up my dog and lets him lick her face.)
Blanche: “Precious!”
(she looks at me)
Blanche: “Oh! You have such gorgeous eyes! You look like a malamute huskey! … but you must hear that a lot… I have to go to church now and repent for my sins — of which there are many.”

dogs / overheard

Quotes from the dog walk

March 16, 2010

We first ran into Sassy Sue, the local foul-mouthed fourth grader. Sue came down the sidewalk on her bike:

Sassy Sue: “Are the dogs scared of bikes?”
Me: “I guess we’ll find out.”
Sassy Sue: “Oh hell nah!”
Me: “What did you say?”
Sassy Sue (getting off bike): That answer was unacceptable!”
I then ran into a pack of kids coming out of a youth center across the street.

humor / overheard

Amber’s fashion sense

December 3, 2009

Woman working at desk, by Bench Accounting via Unsplash

Amber does not appreciate the fashion sense of one of her classmates, Zeb.

Zeb is a 2L at Amber’s law school and is about my weight – not obese, but too big to wear skinny pants and man leggings.

Amber: “So I’ve seen his ridiculous snow boots and I’ve seen the skinny pants. But what amazes me is that I’ve never seen Zeb repeat an outfit! So he has a huge closet full of clothes and EVERY SINGLE PIECE is ill-fitting and inappropriate.”

See also:

overheard

Cheryl’s friends

July 17, 2009

I suspect cubicle partitions help noise travel. There is a seating area in the hallway near our cubicles. Two women broadcasted their conversation from the seating area today:
Woman 1: “I wonder what Cheryl is going to name the baby.”
Woman 2: “Cheryl’s pregnant?”
Woman 1: “Yeah Cheryl’s pregnant. She’s very pregnant!”
Woman 2: “Oh, I didn’t know.”
Woman 1: “Weren’t you just walking with Cheryl and I a few weeks ago? Cheryl was very pregnant then…”
Woman 1: “But she wasn’t that big! And there’s no polite way to ask if someone is pregnant! Sandra is STILL mad at me for asking if she was pregnant last year!”
Jack and I had to resist the temptation to get up and look at who the women were. The real question is: who’s Sandra?

Enough interns were snickering that the women realized it was time to go.