Tomorrow features back to back midterms because I’m the champ.
I’m a college senior and anxiety about classes is beyond me. It just doesn’t happen anymore. For what?
It’s not senioritus, but the fact that this is my tenth semester taking college courses (six here + three dual enrollment in high school) so I better have this school thing down, or be comfortable about how I have it down.
It was weird, like “Okay, I’ll study tonight. No problem. I got this like RJD2,” no trips to starbucks, outlines, unnecessary naps – no preamble needed.
It’s like that passage from Ueland’s 1938 book – “When you will, make a resolution, set your jaw, you are expressing an imaginative fear that you won’t do the thing. If you knew you would do the thing then you would smile happily and set about it. And this fear (since the imagination is always creative) comes about presently and you slide down into the complete slump of several weeks or years – the very thing you dreaded and set your jaw against.
And why do all these grim-resolution people will? Because they are full of fear which drives them to try to dominate themselves and others for the purpose of making money or getting some kind of security. If you dominate your boss and children all the time, it means that you are afraid they will not be secure, foolishly thinking that your bossing will guarantee this, that you know just how they should grow. Or by willing you try to dominate yourself so that your importance, financial or artistic or ethnical or whatever, will be secure.”
Initial thought – “Where was this attitude for the past two, four, eight years? Why didn’t anyone tell me to chill the fuck out?”
Second thought – “ Because you panic quietly and privately? I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. It’s arrived like buttah!”
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