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Why we can’t have nice things

Ingrid, our labradoodle in front of Starbucks.

I have a pretty nice apartment, but I rarely have guests over.

There are a few reasons for that:

  1. The nearby gay bars, restaurants, and apartment pools form important third places that make house guests unnecessary.
  2. Constant contact through social media lessens the demand for in-person visits.
  3. We are more likely to meet people out for drag shows or theme park trips than a dinner party.

But the main reason why we rarely have guests is Ingrid, our labradoodle.

Ingrd the labradoodle and Gunter the chiweenie at Klyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas.

Ingrd the labradoodle and Gunter the chiweenie at Klyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas.

Here’s what happened.

We had a large group of guests over during a Sunday Funday recently. We let Ingrid out of her kennel and she promptly ran into the one “friend of a friend” that we didn’t know very well… and then proceeded to piss all over his shorts.

I was mortified.

Aubrey O'Day I can't

I tried to give the poor guy a new pair of dry shorts but he absolutely wasn’t having it. The group then went to the next bar and tried our best to ignore the occasional whiff of urine.

Ingrid the labradoodle at Lee Park / Arlington Conservatory in Oak Lawn, Dallas.

Ingrid the labradoodle at Lee Park / Arlington Conservatory in Oak Lawn, Dallas.

This also isn’t a new problem — back in Minnesota, a prominent gay DJ moved into my apartment building and got doused by my puppy Hugo. That too, was mortifying.

Perhaps it is time to invest in doggy diapers?

Or better training?

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