Twenty-five was a very difficult year.
I’m turning 26 in about a month and I’m ending the year on a rather unexpected note. This past year was marked by transitioning from law school life, a failed relationship, my burgeoning corporate career, and being fabulous.
In law school every part of the day was spoken for. You’re supposed to be studying when you’re not working, interning or in class. Whether that happened or not is another matter – but the point is, there is always something that you should be doing in law school. “Free time” doesn’t exist because everything is so competitive.
After graduating, a normal workweek, no homework, and free weekends was anxiety-inducing. I went through withdrawal from my 90-hour-a-week schedule and felt incredibly underproductive and useless.
Only I was being productive – I was consistently the highest performer on my team and I was promoted twice in a four month span. I am now in a senior position and making MBA plans for my eventual transition into management.
Unfortunately, my relationship to Tader didn’t survive the transitionary period. In the middle of this past winter I realized that I needed to become “comfortable with being uncomfortable” because the things that are good for you (like working out, hard degree programs, personal growth in general) are inherently uncomfortable.
The problem is that I didn’t apply that mantra to my relationship. Adjusting my communication style to suit my partner is really uncomfortable and something I avoided doing.
Ignoring problems and failing to clearly express myself is just as bad as the Minnesota passive-aggressive behavior that I hate. My decision to exit the relationship instead of addressing the issues was pure laziness and lack of courage, but there was no one around to tell me that.
After the relationship, I focused on work and my social life, reconnecting with friends that went ignored during the winter.
Dating has been rocky, but that’s because you can’t really start a new relationship until you’ve processed the last one.
I’m leaving my 25th year with the ability and willingness to intentionally challenge myself. From joining a rugby team (which is terrifying) to being strategically ambitious at work while partnering with people with very different communication styles (even more terrifying).
This means that I live in a constant state of discomfort – from intellectually challenging situations to weird bruises from the rugby field – but the resulting personal growth is exciting.
To another fabulous year.
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