In college, the middle aged aunt of a classmate told me that she was an undercover 23-year-old.

She said:

“There’s never a magical day when you wake up and say, ‘Now I am adult.‘ Sure, you learn more things and have more experiences. Your body also ages and stops doing what you want it to. But I suspect most people stop growing emotionally around their mid-twenties, if they are lucky. I’m 23, actually.”

I turned 28 today.

I haven’t celebrated Official Adult Day, but I certainly don’t feel like a 23-year-old.

Last summer I was busy traveling and upgrading apartments. This summer I’m raising puppies, starting a business, and doubling down on my career. Those are enough adult-like activities for now.
Here are five things I’ve learned so far:

1. Make it easy for people to do what you want.

If you want a job, be overqualified. If you want a promotion, outperform your coworkers. If you want a date, be charming (or at least have a job.)

2. Giving up on a toxic relationship is not a sign of weakness.

Or, as Frank Chimero puts it: “Clearly labeling other people’s petty grievances as bullshit is a fast track to well-being and fewer complaints of your own.”

3. Prestige is usually an assumption about what other people think.

We all know that guy with the flashy car, expensive condo, impossible body, and amazing parties.

Everyone thinks he’s a jerk.

Also, the shirtless Instagrams/Snapchats are ridiculous, regardless of how great your abs are.

4. Good friends don’t need to be high maintenance.

I can go months without seeing my best friends, but we are still closer than the bar acquaintances I run into every week.

5. Figure out how you’re evaluated, and focus on that.

In law school, there were three paths to good grades:

1. Have no life, study just short of being suicidal.
2. Dumb luck and/or get a law review outline.
3. Figure out what matters to the professor, focus on that.

The people who did #3 had the best results with the least amount of stress.

Figuring out what actually matters to your boss also helps in the corporate world. (Doubling the target numbers is a great way to get promoted.)

The last two years of my twenties are all about possibilities.

I might enter middle management, get a LLM or MBA, move for a new company, or do a combination thereof.

Having options is nice, and maybe that’s what an adult is all about.