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The Mojito Controversy

It’s summer, aka, mojito season.

Starbucks mojitos

I make a mean mojito. Unfortunately one of the bartenders at my favorite St. Paul lounge does not.

There are two female bartenders, Blondie and Carrot Top. Blondie knows how to make a mojito. Her mojitos are always light, crisp and fabulous. Blondie’s mojitos are like a little roach-free slice of Miami.

Carrot Top’s mojitos are a train wreck.

She puts way too many random things in her mojitos and my friends and I avoid ordering from her as much as we can.

But you can only tell a bartender that you are “waiting for a friend” so many times before she catches on. So last night she insisted on taking our drinks.

Me: “Well, what do you put in your mojitos?”
Carrot Top: “I know what I’m doing! I can make a mojito and they are damn good. You should at least try them before you start bitching.”

Normally, I would just leave. I am polite and tip well, so I don’t tolerate any attitude from bartenders.

I also felt like telling her that I’ve had one of her terrible faux-jitos before. But I let her make it and smiled as she bitched to her friends at the other end of the bar.

And yes, the mojito was horrid.

So my friend Jill thinks I was terribly rude by trying to custom-order my mojito. I think a bar is like Burger King, and I should be able to have it my way. Am I wrong here?

8 Comments

  • Gary
    May 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Is asking for a good Mojito in MN sort of like asking for good barbeque in MN?

    Reply
    • Jansen
      May 8, 2011 at 2:53 pm

      No, it’s possible to get a good one. It’s just spotty. Last night’s mojito was pure rum. Fail.

      Reply
  • Corryn
    May 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    You were not in the wrong. Mojitos are sacred.

    Reply
    • Jansen
      May 8, 2011 at 2:52 pm

      Buhaha. Thank you!

      Reply
  • Shantelle
    May 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    My friends and I came up with our own (only tasty) faux-jito. Instead of simple sugar we use Sprite, which adds some refreshing bubbles.

    So it’s Bacardi Citron, muddled mint, lime, sprite, and sometimes it’s fun to toss a few blackberries in. I feel like I’m forgetting something…

    I dunno, but it’s tasty!

    As for Bartender McBitchy, I would totally not take any of her shit. One bar I go to waters down their drinks (or adds way too much ice) so I’ve started ordering a shot AND a coke and mixing my own. Some places are just lame that way I guess. You should totally be able to have it your way.

    Reply
    • Jansen
      May 10, 2011 at 5:39 pm

      Buhaha, that’s sounds like a spiked fruit smoothie!

      I muddle mint, splenda, and lime juice. Then add rum and Gertolsteiner water (which is super carbonated).

      I’m weary of girl bartenders at gay bars. Gay bar drinks are already 3x as strong as straight bar drinks…and some girl bartenders make them even stronger to get an edge over the guys. The problem is a glass of rum + mint is a pretty strong and gross drink.

      Reply
      • Shantelle
        May 11, 2011 at 9:40 pm

        If it doesn’t taste like candy, I’m not drinking it. I would feel embarrassed about this if my husband weren’t the same way and is not ashamed at all.

        Reply
        • Jansen
          May 12, 2011 at 9:58 pm

          Buhaha. I like it. If the drink is too sweet I start to wonder about the calorie count though.

          Reply

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