I’m watching the Millionaire Matchmaker on BravoTV.com. The dates are horribly awkward and I can’t stop watching. Schadenfreude.
Patti Stanger (the Matchmaker) just made one of the Millionaires make a list of his five non-negotiables / deal-breakers for dating. I love the idea.
Here’s my list.
- Must be outgoing and social. I am not Beryl Parmenter.
- Must communicate well. No passive aggressiveness.
- Must be drug free. Including Marijuana.
- Must be respectful to others. Specifically – he must be respectful to his family, my family, his coworkers, and especially assistants and people in the service industry. That is very important. If you are rude to an assistant or a waiter, then you are a douchecanoe.
- Must have passion. For something. Be it career, art, hobby, etc. A tell-tale sign of a lack of passion/direction is if someone is constantly bored.
Not too crazy, right?
14 Comments
Martine
October 26, 2010 at 11:33 am(1) I love the word douchecanoe. That, plus asshat, should be in everyone’s vocabulary.
(2) Your non-negotiable list is not too crazy. You’d think it’d be harder to find a mate when you have a list like this, but it’s actually easier because you don’t waste time with people with whom you will ultimately not be compatible.
(3) I find it sad that we have to specify that marijuana is, in fact, a drug.
(4) The items on your list are actually all things that a person can develop over time. (To my delight, my husband has become more social, more passionate about his job/hobbies, and more communicative since I met him 5+ years ago.) What about the things that are less likely to change, like attitudes toward faith, finances, and future family? Those are three areas in which I would demand compatibility because they are the areas that can cause unresolvable conflicts in a long-term relationship.
Jansen
October 26, 2010 at 3:08 pmI actually left off “must want kids” because I think I can talk someone into that. Financial responsibility is something that could be learned too…or no?
I’m going to do the check-off next time. Actually, on the show the guy ignored his list and had a horrible date.
And I love the word asshat too! Buhaha
Martine
October 27, 2010 at 11:45 amI don’t know if you could convince someone anti-kids to have kids. It’s such a MAJOR lifestyle choice. In my mind, it’s almost as crazy as saying I could convince a gay man to go straight for me. 😛
Financial responsibility–I suppose it COULD be learned, but since it’s one of the most common things married couples fight about (even affluent couples), it seems like an important thing to consider before committing.
Jansen
October 27, 2010 at 12:48 pmI actually don’t run into that many guys who are absolutely opposed to kids. It’s usually more of a question of how many and where to adopt from. I’m also a big fan of the kids-as-retirement idea.
Brian
October 26, 2010 at 3:26 pmI fit them all! And I want kids!
…Too bad I’m taken.
Jansen
October 26, 2010 at 6:15 pmBuhaha. And I’m not going to play man-snatcher. That never ends well.
Carpecactus
October 26, 2010 at 5:10 pmI LOVE The Millionaire Matchmaker!! The “must want kids” needs to be on your list. Must not want kids is on mine! I actually made a list of 10 non negotiables (things such as: must have at least a bachelor’s degree, must not have a criminal record, etc.) and put it on a dating website. Shortly thereafter, I got a message from my now-boyfriend who meets all my requirements and is super awesome!! It turned out that we were in school together but hadn’t really crossed paths. He’s a lawyer now and we’ve been together just over a year. I fully advocate making a list and sticking to it!! Good luck! 🙂
Jansen
October 26, 2010 at 6:14 pmHaha, I still think I can convince someone that kids are the way to to go. 😉 I’m not sure if I can post it on a dating site. Seems too out there. 😉
Katie
October 26, 2010 at 9:05 pmWe should probably date.
Jansen
October 26, 2010 at 9:58 pmHaha! Guys only! Refer your gay friends!
Gary
October 27, 2010 at 9:28 amI have a general rule to be nice to secretaries, waiters/waitresses and librarians.
Jansen
October 27, 2010 at 12:46 pmIt’s essential!
Caitlin
October 27, 2010 at 11:40 pmI think we may be soulmates.
P.S. And I want kids.
Jansen
November 4, 2010 at 6:34 pmBuhahah!