Everyone has a syrupy facebook friend: the one whose status updates constantly mention their significant other in a cheesy, overly-sentimental way,
Syrupie Smith: “Off to lunch with my amazing boyfriend!”
Syrupton Bergsteiner: “Going to see my beau! Love you babe! Xoxo!”
Syrupy ~LOLZ~ Adams: “So excited for tonight! I get to see my sweety! Tee hee hee!”
Etc.
These are also the people with the preggers pictures and baby-profiles, or the gay guys who upload dozens of nearly-identical shots of themselves posing with their not-so-cute boyfriends. Hay!
We all know these tacky people, and I am trying desperately not to become one. But it’s hard. The new relationship is more Beyonce than Sophie Ellis-Bextor.
We are as intense preteens and absolutely insufferable. We’ll blame it on spring, which came suddenly… these pictures were taken one week apart:
My Miami people will insist this is splitting hairs, but note the thaw! The grass is visible for the first time in months and some of it is already turning green.
Today the temperature was well into the 50’s and everyone was waltzed around without coats, and most of us had shorts on.
I only took Harley on today’s long walk because Gertrude’s outfit was too ridiculous:
But it was either that or letting her walk around with open wounds. That mess cost me $509. She will make a fierce handbag.
I had time for the multiple dog walks because I left work early.
My coworkers and I are probably going to start boycotting most of the food options at work. Amber got food poisoning from a cafeteria salmonella salad, and I became deathly ill after eating a pack of sugar-free gummi bears from the company store.
Although to be fair, the gummi bears did have a warning:
The jelly beans are even worse. The jelly bean package recommends that new eaters only eat “8 or less” beans lest they get explosive diarrhea.
I, of course, ate an entire pack of the jelly beans AND the gummi bears. And yes, the warnings are there for a reason. My goodness.
This coming week is Spring Break for my school. I will work a lot, but I have grand fitness plans. We’ll see if I can force myself into a Jillian Michaels workout routine, or if I will have Har Mar’s curves for another season.
7 Comments
Shelley
March 15, 2010 at 8:33 amI actually laughed out loud at your eating an entire packet of both the jelly beans and the gummi bears. Don’t do that again. I hope you’ve learned your lesson! haha.
Jansen
March 16, 2010 at 7:56 amI felt SO sick… why do they even sell that stuff? It was…um…explosive.
molly
March 15, 2010 at 10:55 amUgh, I hate mushy-gushy couples…
Gertrude strikes me as the sweetest dog, but she’s a rottweiler, right?
I did not know that about gummy bears and jelly beans. I love gummy bears though! I guess that’s something to keep in mind.
Jansen
March 16, 2010 at 7:57 amTo be fair, it’s the sugar-free gummibears/jelly beans that have the “will make you sick/cry” warning.
And yes, she’s a rottweiler… I think most rottweilers (and even pitbulls) are fair tempered, it’s just the type of people who own them that give them the bad rep. (nurture vs. nature)
Laurie
March 15, 2010 at 11:23 amThere are warnings on gummi bears?? Wow, I should pay attention.
As for the syrupy status messages, I suppose it’s better than after being married for more than a decade when your status becomes “well, at least I didn’t kill my spouse today.” 🙂
Jansen
March 16, 2010 at 7:59 amBuhaha, I hope it doesn’t come to that. I’d like to be on Nancy Grace for something positive.
And the warning was only the sugar-free gummi bears/jelly beans… I think you have to eat the regular ones en masse to get that sick…(definitely more than EIGHT jelly beans!)
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