Law School Archives - Page 34 of 37

Professor T and Professor C go canoeing…

November 11, 2008

Jack doesn’t like Professor C…
Professor T: “So, Professor C and I go out to the wilderness to canoe on the river. Professor C is a city slicker, so when he catches a small fish he gets so excited that he stands up. (And you never stand up in a canoe – it’s a rule) And Professor C promptly falls out of the canoe. Do I have a duty to save Professor C?”
Jack: “Well, I’d like to say no…but…”
The Hypo Continues…
Professor T: “So after I pull Professor C out and stick him on the rocks…do I have any further duty? What if he gets hypothermic?”
(Jill starts laughing)
Professor T: “What?”
Jill: “The mental picture. It’s great.”
Professor T: “Why?”
Jill: “Because you’re going to need to provide him with your body heat!”
Professor T: “So I have to crawl into the sleeping bag with him?”
Jill: “Maybe. Or stick your dog in there with him!”
Jack: “Or you can just throw him back in water!”

1L Fall Summaries

Best Week Ever #10

November 11, 2008

The ice has arrived. It legitimately snowed early last week, but for the rest of the week we got sparse, gnat-like snow.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

You can call me baby.

November 10, 2008

I’m so horribly amused…
Professor C: “So, Daniel…”
Dan: “Oh, you can call me Dan. The only people who call me Daniel are my parents. Or you can call me JD-Baby.”
Professor C: “What? What did you say? JD…baby?”
Dan: “Yeah, you can call me either Dan or JD-Baby.”
Professor C: “Do you actually expect me to call you that?”
Dan: “I’m just giving you options.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

Best of Sunday

November 9, 2008

Today’s reading was pretty ripe with “the funny.” Here are the top three quotes:

“If there is a hell to which disputatious, uncivil, vituperative lawyers go, let it be one in which the damned are eternally locked in discovery disputes with other lawyers of equally repugnant attributes.”
– Judge Bright from Dahl v. City of Huntington Beach, 84 F.3d 363 (9th Cir. Cal. 1996)

“If he would be a great lawyer, he must first consent to become a great drudge.”
– Daniel Webster (quoted in my CivPro book)

And from some “for fun” reading I did today, a quote that is pertinent to law school…

“It takes confidence and good will to day, “I didn’t understand so-and-so,” rather than, belligerently, “So-and-so makes no sense.” It is the nature of stupid people to hide their perplexity and attack what they cannot grasp.”
– John Gardner, from On Becoming a Novelist

Law School / Law School – 1L / unsolicited advice

Gunners, and a PSA to “The Hissy.”

November 8, 2008

People at a cafe by Tim Gouw via Unplash

Law school discussion. Memba that site? Well, there is (as always) an active gunner thread. Here is the first post:

PSA: How to Avoid Being “That” Guy by Another Chicago 1L

You shouldn’t:

1. Raise your hand more than once per class period. I know the rule sounds harsh, but, when you have 90 others and a professor with a plan, there’s no need for your novice input.

Most of the LR people at my school, I’ve been told, were quiet in class.

2. Approach anyone at the library and begin a long conversation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sitting at a desk, trying to work, when someone comes over to me like they’re ready to shoot the breeze for an hour. The library isn’t a social scene. It’s a library. Acknowledgements should be as limited as a funeral’s.

3. Speak in publishable sentences. Some people think that law school gives them license to throw out clunkers like “egregious recourse to deregulation.” Guess what? Nobody thinks that you’re intelligent because you can string together polysyllabic words.

4. Talk about how much or how little work you’re doing. Please, please, please don’t do this. Someone bragged to me about how they’re working at least 8 hours a day, if not more. Oh, really? Well, none of the rest of us are studying at all, so that makes you very special. Conversely, talking about your slacker tendencies is okay, but not as good as talking about something else.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Hippies and DES babies

November 6, 2008

We discussed Diethylstilbestrol (DES) litigation…
Professor T: “Is the subsequent occupant of a uterus unforeseeable?”
And little Sally picks up a flower…
Professor T: “So what happened to the girl in this case?”
Mike: “I don’t know.”
Professor T: “Look at the date.”
(Date of the case is 1971)
Mike: “Oh, 1971. She must have become a hippie or something.”
Professor T: “And her parents are upset that they sent little Sally who is as pure as snow into this university…”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Socratic Abandonment

November 5, 2008

Professor V: Given that your open memo due today and the election was last night, I’ll assume that today is not a good day for class preparation. So, unless anyone wants to disabuse me of that idea, I am going to ask for volunteers instead of calling on people.

(Class erupts in applause)

Law School / legal humor / on the record / the cases

Stay off the parkway

November 4, 2008

Yun v. Ford Motor Co.
647 A.2d 841

*Estate of van passenger who died as result of being struck by automobile while crossing highway late at night to retrieve spare tire that had fallen off back of van brought products liability action against van manufacturer, installer which attached spare tire assembly to van, van dealership and manufacturer of spare tire carrier and negligence action against automobile service center.
Sarah: “I mean, it’s the Garden State Parkway! COME ON! You don’t run across it! People will speed up if they see you!”
Professor T: “Do they get extra points?”
Sarah: “Yeah! I mean, it’s New Jersey!”
Timmy: “Gotta love New Jersey!”

* Westlaw headnotes.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

On the Record: Contracts

November 3, 2008

Jill gets paid.

Professor C: “Okay, Jill! I’m the court. You’re my clerk. Tell me what to do.”
Jill: “First off, pay me more money.”

Wood* can just stay at home!

Professor C: “The plaintiff doesn’t have to go out and market Lady Duff-Gordon’s designs. He can just sit at home, watch Project Runway, and eat Bon-Bons.”

Professor C: “So, Sarah…can the plaintiff sit at home, watch Project Runway, and eat Bon-Bons on his couch?”

* Refers to Otis F. Wood in Wood v. Lucy, Lady Duff-Gordon, 222 N.Y. 88, 118 N.E. 214

1L Fall Summaries / gamma eta gamma / Law School / Life

Best Week Ever (Weeks 8 & 9)

November 3, 2008

The past two weeks couldn’t have been more different.

Week 8 was the most academically engaging week so far because of a contracts midterm and a legal writing memo.

The contracts midterm was an opportunity for me to outline my contracts class and synthesize my notes.

So I opened the exam feeling prepared and read the instructions. There are three parts to the exam. I breeze through the short answer questions, have a lot of fun on the long issue spotter…and then get to the last question:
Some doctrines of contract law are best characterized as standards, whereas others are better characterized as rules. Identify one doctrine of contract law that is closer to a rule than a standard, but that you feel ought to be closer to a standard than a rule. Explain. Then, identify one doctrine of contract law that is closer to a standard than a rule, but that you feel ought to be closer to a rule than a standard. Again, explain you reasoning. (Please do not use the doctrine of restitution in answering this question).
I stopped. Reread the question, exhaled, and then silently thought, “What. The. Fuck.”

Doctrines of contract law? Huh? What?

I scribbled a random, (probably incoherent) answer, and then printed the exam out. I decided there was no point in worrying about my (butchering) of the last question since this was only a practice exam…but needless to say that my subsequent class notes always have a “THIS IS A POLICY/RULE VS. STANDARD ARGUMENT!!!! MEMBA DIS FOR THE EXAM!” section.

Researching for the legal writing memo was a lot of fun. I did most of the work at cafes downtown. I love walking downtown from the law school because it’s a nice walk (and break) before I start work. Downtown Minneapolis is gorgeous too…

Studying off campus is also super-efficient. The nice thing about being the unshaven guy in the corner of the café, (intensely staring at his computer, mumbling to himself…) is that people assume you’re crazy and leave you alone.

Whereas in the law school the harder you concentrate the more likely you are to be approached by a classmate… “Hey! How about that one case…” And you know it’s true. We all become that distracting person at least a few times a week…

Apparently my work on the memo paid off – I met with my legal writing instructors to review my memo and they said,
“Your open memo was so thoroughly researched and bluebooked! Good job! We were pleasantly surprised because your closed memo was so terrible! What changed? Really…what happened!?”
Gulp.

I didn’t know whether to be happy or not. I didn’t think my closed memo was THAT bad… Hmmf.

The open memo was a lot easier to write because I was able to refer to statutes, restatements, and cases from other jurisdictions to get an idea of what I needed to write about. During the closed memo we could only use the excerpts from the 5 or so cases we were given…

Basically – with the open memo I could research myself into competence instead of scratching around a few select cases.

The contracts outline, midterm, and open memo created an unique time pressure for week 8. I loved it. I think that’s why it was the most academically rewarding week of the semester…

I also added a new study spot to my (sprawling) list during week 8: The Hennepin Public Library!

It’s like Ikea: the Library. Brand new and amazing.

Week 9 was Halloween week – and therefore “The Week of the Boomkats.”

Monday night I went to the Souless Affection show. It was the business.
Wednesday we went to the Townhouse and I was harassed by a guy claiming to be my twin. Yeah. Creepy.
Thursday we went to Bolt Underground where DJ Krischan Wesenberg (of Rotersand) did a live set. Afterwards, Eric and I went to see the Cazwell show at Saloon. Cazwell performed his new song, “I saw Beyonce at Burger King” which is hilarious.
Friday I played DJ in my laundry room of horrors (at the Gamma house party) and then spent about two hours driving the LLMs home. It was absolutely hilarious.

The Week of the Boomkats ended on Saturday when we went to the 19 Bar and Saloon. The 19 Bar is a laid back place in Loring Park with a semi-awkward crowd, whereas Saloon was strangely annoying on Saturday. Hm.

November is the beginning of finals season which is exciting. I hope to knock out one class outline per week (and of course, add this month’s material towards the end.) We’ll see how it goes…

gamma eta gamma / Law School / Life

What law students do during Halloween

November 1, 2008

Last night the Gamma House threw a party, and I promised pictures:

gamma eta gamma / Law School

Trivia Night @ Burrito Loco

October 31, 2008

Before the fiasco in St. Paul – most of the Gamma house went to trivia night at Burrito Loco. Pictures!

The best part of the night was when the DJ played “Walk it out.” Yes, a bunch of over-dressed law students were walking it out at a Burrito Loco on a Wednesday night.

We two-stepped. People stared. It was hilarious. This is what we do.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

Rachael the Bold.

October 31, 2008

Yesterday in class:
Professor: “Rachael, are you with me?”
Rachael: “Does my face look like I’m with you?”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Cinderella’s army

October 30, 2008

Redefining activism:

Professor T: “Judicial activism is a pejorative term people use to describe supreme court rulings they don’t like.”

Con Law began with this quote:

“Despite what Hollywood might have you believe, in situations like this you don’t call in the tough guys; you all in the lawyers.” – George Tenet

Haaa-CHO!

(There’s a boy in the back of the class that lets out these extra-loud sneeze-cough combos…)
Jill: “His sneezes are like an assault my senses every time…”

War Powers Resolution of 1973:

Jack: “It makes the president the commander-in-chief of a Cinderella army that disappears in 60 days.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record / unsolicited advice

OTR: the panel

October 29, 2008

Library books by Glen Noble via Unsplash

In SSG we had a panel of older students that gave advice on exams:

Panelist 1: “Don’t talk about the exam afterwards. Don’t. Seriously. Because you’ll think of all the things you did wrong and feel like CRAP.”

Panelist 2: “You’re kinda in a panic during your first exam and like what the fuck…”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Read the damn thing

October 28, 2008

On Contracts:

Professor C: “When you sign a contract you should read the damn thing.”

Professor C: “Why is it in capitals? That’s the insurer’s way of getting around the reasonable expectation policy. They’ll say, “What do you mean you didn’t know?! It’s in CAPITALS!” but of course the problem is that half the freakin’ document is in capitals…”

Professor T’s world:

Professor T: “Up where I live there are guns going off all the time. I have to put an orange vest on my dog when I let him out in the morning because hunters will shoot at anything that moves...”

gamma eta gamma / Law School

Gamma Eta Gamma Party this Friday!

October 26, 2008

Law School / legal humor / on the record

Pleading…fail.

October 24, 2008

Today in Civ Pro we picked apart a (extremely) poorly written answer to a complaint. Giant fail.

Professor V: We see that the complaint has a lot of problems, but it seems like the defendant wasn’t even trying to get it right. I asked the clerk of the court if this was typical, and she said that there was a deep divide: 90% of the pleadings were perfect, and 10% were absolutely dreadful. This obviously falls into the dreadful category, but that makes it an awfully good learning tool.

An example of the absurdity… the defendant, Southwestern Publishing Company, denied this part of the Plaintiff’s claim:

IV.
Defendant, The Southwestern Company, engages in the business of publishing and selling books to residential customers. Defendant contracts with college students to spend their summers selling its books from door to door in residential areas selected by Defendant.

Okay, now this is from Southwestern’s website:

Students who participate in the program represent approximately 350 colleges and universities from the United States, Canada, Europe, South Africa, and South America. Our products are sold to families in their homes by these students during their summer breaks. These students are independent contractors and have the opportunity to run their own businesses by purchasing products from Southwestern at wholesale and selling them to customers at retail.

Um…yeah.

* For you Westlaw people, the full case is at: Grewe v. Southwestern Co. Not Reported in F.Supp.2d, 2005 WL 1593048 D.Minn.,2005. but the botched answer to the amended complaint is not among the Westlaw court docs on Westlaw. Hm..

Law School / legal humor / on the record

Words of encouragement,…erm, sort of.

October 24, 2008

Our school has a mandatory 1L lecture series. Today’s lecturers discussed stress and stress related issues:

Speaker 1: “Don’t forget you have a life. Do not use the word “allegedly” when asked if you took out the trash. And do not take your books to Chipotle and read them in line. Have you guys seen that? Yeah? Well it’s sad.”

Speaker 1: “The second year is better. I know you hear it all the time and think “LIAR!” but it’s true. If it wasn’t better then the attrition rate would be 98%. Your second year sucks for a whole different set of reasons.”

Speaker 2: “About 10% of lawyers have alcohol abuse problems. In this room, I’d say that’s the first two rows. Sorry, I’m sure you’re great but you’re drunks. You go to a great school but you’re not that special – you’re not going to buck the statistics.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

How Jill became “that girl.”

October 23, 2008

Woman working at desk, by Bench Accounting via Unsplash

Jill’s computer starts speaking during Professor L’s class: “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE WON!”

The entire class laughs.
Professor L: “I won’t even try to exercise discipline, because the embarrassment is enough. HOW EMBARRASSING!”
Jill: “Sorry…I had to buy these tickets…and…”
Professor L: “And apparently you’ve won something! I’m sure you’re not the only one who has done such a thing in class, you’re just the only one who has done it with the volume on!”