Law School

Watch them drown!
Professor T: “Like canoeists overturning in the river and drowning! We always take our picnics up by the rapids on sunny Saturday afternoons so we can watch the canoeists in the river tip over and drown. It’s one of favorite things to do. It’s like a sport.”
Why should you know?
Professor L: “Mpk? That means impact. I was in college debate so I have this bad experience using abbreviations that no one has any reason to know.”
There were some Native Americans in the casebook…
Students: “The language, about ‘going on the warpath.”
Professor T: “Yes?”
Students: “It bothers me.”
How to drive:
Professor T: “Thieves have 47-times higher risk of crash. Why?”
Student: “Because they are concerned about escape, not the car?”
Professor T: “And because car thieves like high speed chases! It’s part of the rush of being a car theft!”
Student (in the back): “Drive it like you stole it….”
Why?
Professor T: “Was it the right decision?”
Student: “No?”
Professor T: “Great! I want you to say no. Why is it no? Why did you say no?”
Student: “Uh, because you implied that it was no?”

Who’s next?!
Student: “…so they sued everyone.”
Professor T: “Great! Get your rolodex!”

Imagine reality…
Professor C: “Say the hypothetical was that the housing market in this case crashed – hard to imagine I know – so… ”
Erm…
Professor C: “Pig iron turns out to be just some sort of iron…And to manufacture pig iron, you need buildings, you need machinery, turns out it’s a complicate process…”

A man’s folly.
(Professor C pulls out a 3 foot tall statue of Frosty the Snowman)
Professor C: “So Mark, what if I pay you to build a huge statute like this in my front yard. As you can see, it looks just like me… and so you start the job, put a little golden base in and then say, ‘this is stupid...”
Jane’s got some issues…
Professor T: “So Jane this was the problem you were having when you were shoplifting a few weeks ago…”
Professor T: “He destroyed his own property! Which is the best test of this true faith belief!”
Professor T: “We have a lot of ways of describing Menloves…”
When you’re naked…
Student: “The Plaintiff thought it was safety glass! You know when you’re in the bathroom and all naked … I mean it’s scary.”
Professor T: “He never thought about it! He wasn’t like, ‘Oh, is it safety glass or regular glass? Am I going to the bathroom naked or in armor?”
Giving Up…
Professor T: “I’ll answer my own question now since I’ve asked it three times…”
Office Hours on the rocks…
Professor T: “Only a few of you have come and visited me at office hours and it makes me so lonely. So I have an alternative. Get together a few people and we’ll get some beers.”