Sigh. The Loring Park Basilica never gets old.
You know I tried to declare spring waaay too early.
The temperature rose 50. It was spring! Then we got a blizzard.
Then we had another week of warmth. It got to 60 degrees. It was spring! …and then it snowed on May-freaking-first.
Well yesterday we got to 80 degrees. So it better be freaking spring.
And if there was any doubt, the streets are full of road construction (aka pot hole repair). We also got full-on tornado sirens and golf-ball-sized hail last night.
Mibs and I were thrilled that our cars didn’t get dinged and that the tornadoes stayed away from downtown Minneapolis for once. Hi Spring. Don’t be too destructive.
When I first decided to move to Minneapolis, I had to convince my to Miami friends that I wasn’t moving to some god-forsaken frontier outpost.
But Minneapolis has arrived! We are finally known for something other than Prince and stuff collapsing.
Minneapolis is apparently “the new gay” (aka the gayest city in the country) and Minnesota is the most hipster state in the US.
I freaking love foursquare.
Lush bar is in an industrial area and the bar’s parking lot is down the street, behind a bunch of factories.
It looks like where they find the body on The First 48: train tracks, broken fences, and mattresses. And of course it has a very descriptive name on Foursquare.
Yesterday morning I woke up around 6 a.m. and felt like the plague hit. So I emailed my boss and rolled back into bed. I finally dragged myself to my finals situation room (aka Starbucks) by 11 a.m. and worked on my Weimar Cinema essay until my 5:30 p.m. class.
The paper is supposed to be 15 page. I got 11 done, so good progress I suppose.
And then I had my last formal class of law school…
…which really isn’t a law school class.
But I am not done. The tax clinic expects me to work until next Friday, which is frustrating because my facebook stream is full of all of my friends declaring that finals are done and summer is here. And yet here I sit on hold for another week.
Law school feels like Avatar: creepy blue people and an ending that just won’t come soon enough.
Matt messaged me about the Osama Bin Laden news right just as I got ready for bed. I was glued to tweetdeck for the next hour and watched Obama’s address to the country.
BBC News just reported that crowds are gathering in front of the White House to celebrate. The correspondent said it’s a block party. I’m not mourning the man, but I think it’s distasteful to celebrate the death of any person. Yes, even Osama.
Besides following world events, I spent my time trying to stay warm in this mug. The week’s weather was straight out of a rainy British murder mystery and today we event got a snowflake or two.
The radio just said that it’s below freezing and we might get snow flurries tomorrow. I guess this is what May is like in Minnesota?
I actually don’t mind the delayed spring. It allows me to appreciate everything (esp. architecture) one last time before the trees and shrubs mask the world.
I don’t even know what to think anymore. It’s May-freaking-first and I had the pleasure of watching tiny snowflakes flip me the bird all day.
And then it hailed.
The “feels like” temperature is 32 degrees and things look rather muddy outside.
I am getting ready for Jetset (doing some poses in the mirror to music, really) when I notice a hooded figure walking by my window.
The figure walks by a second time, and then a third time. I assume this fool is casing my garden-level apartment, so I grab the dogs and sashay outside. I walk around the side of the building but no one is there.
I live on the edge of downtown Minneapolis, where there is a two-story Target approximately a quarter mile from my apartment.
And yet I always end up in the suburbs.
Hallelu.
Everything has thawed and I am at the lakes so much that I canceled my gym membership. This was a long time coming.
I knew there was something wrong when I came home and bones were all over the living room. And then look who I found in my bed:
This week? Work, snow, some epically bad dates, dog walks, drag shows and a lot of dancing:
Halvers and I went to the townhouse for classafrass earlier in the week:
And the snow quickly gave way to real spring temperatures. The lake was packed today.
Gateway no longer supports my FX laptop (or even acknowledges that the model exists). I can’t find any new drivers for it and it’s slowly dying. So I went to Mall of America on Saturday to hunt for a new computer. The mall usually has some random event on the weekends, and this week it was all about fancy cars:
Big Box had mostly low-end laptops ($300-$400) and the uber expensive Macs. The 17-inch Mac started at $2,500 – which wasn’t happening.
I then went to the Apple store to see if they had anything better but I was immediately turned off by the lack of customer service. The greeter was preoccupied with his watch and no one came to help me in the five minutes I was in the store. I quickly balked at the prices and fled across the hallway to the Microsoft store.
The salespeople at the Microsoft store were super patient with my 3o-minutes worth of questions. I eventually bought a HP Envy Beats edition, which is 17-inch beast with 3D capabilities and a professional sound card. It’s fancy, and I named it Herman.
My laptop only got used for homework this weekend because Ableton has to manually approve my license for the new laptop. It’s a German company, so you know they aren’t open for Easter.
Being productive isn’t the worst way to spend a Sunday. Maybe this can be a regular thing.
Minneapolis is consistently ranked as one of the gayest cities in the U.S. and yet I am perpetually single.
These types of guys are why:
This guy is over-enthusiastic to the brink of stalkerdom, “Hi! Nice to meet you. I love your eyes! We should totally get married. What’s your name again?”
He fills up your Facebook inbox but acts completely bored when you hang out.
Am I talking to your assistant online?
He’s in love, as long as you are in front of him.
This guy is completely enamored in-person but takes a week to respond to a Facebook or text message.
He might need to borrow the E-Baller’s secretary.
Your jealous boyfriend…who isn’t your boyfriend.
This is the guy who claims he wants friendship but what he really wants is Ken – the boyfriend without the sex.
The faux-friend wants to take you to the movies, the gym and the bar.
He might even text you and call to ask how your day was. But beware, the second you look at another guy, sirens turn on and he rings the alarm.
The faux-friend will not actually date you, but he is perfectly happy to cause unnecessary drama as he glares down his perceived competition at the bar like a hyena in heat.
Avoid at all costs.
The Poltergeist is similar to the Fair-Weather, but way more irritating.
This is the guy who disappears after an amazing date and then reincarnates as a ghost rapping at your online-door.
The poltergeist will “like” a Facebook update, or shoot a text once every few weeks along the lines of “Hey we should hang out!” only to disappear again… these guys are like reoccurring outbreaks of H1N1, and it’s time to be vaccinated.
Toast is the perfectly nice but utterly boring guy who always forces you to exchange pleasantries online. You have a brief conversation about your day (or the weather) that fizzles quickly. But don’t worry, you’ll have the same exact conversation a few days later.
Toast is way too shy to ask you out , and way too boring to be asked out…so you are stuck repeating these pointless conversations because there’s no polite way to say “Yo Toast, I don’t give a shit how you are doing today.”
This guy is like catching poison ivy. He will stalk you and message you on every dating site and app.
The Rash won’t go away until you go to Walgreen’s and buy some anti-itch creme.
Ignoring him is best tactic. Responding will only encourage him to make a fake profile just to keep bothering you. (Yes, this happens.)
And don’t worry about running into the Rash at the bar. Like the E-Baller, these guys have social anxiety problems and scurry like roaches when you glare at them in a social setting.
This is the sluttacious guy who is just waiting to share his love bumps. “Hi, how are you? My name is John. Want to be the guest star of my septic tank of desire?”
Um, no.
And don’t for the Vamp no matter how drunk and lonely you are.
This is the type of guy who sleeps his way through entire groups of friends and makes things awkward for everyone in the future.
He’s cute! You chatted him up on a dating site or at a bar, became Facebook friends, and promptly stopped talking to each other.
So of course you run into him all the time now.
He is at the grocery store, club, and the lake. You smile politely, wave, and continue ignoring each other.
And the weird thing about The Extra is that you would probably get along with him enough to become real-friends, and yet nothing ever happens.
It’s the almost-missed connection that keeps repeating itself.
As you can see, this is a very busy circus. Tickets available at Ticketmaster or at your local Pump’N’Munch gas station.
It’s mid-April, so this is not okay.
And then four hours later, all of the snow is gone and flowers are visible.
What the hell, Minneapolis?
I need to write a thank you letter to 16 Bit Lolitas. Their song, “Nobody Seems to Care” pulled me through countless study sessions and finals.
