I think I overdid it yesterday.
Yesterday, the sweet sound of garbage trucks woke the dogs up at 5am. I walked the monsters, snuck off to the library, and took my Family Law exam at 8:30.
After the exam I channeled Jillian Michaels for two hours at the gym, walked the dogs again, and then (somehow) ended back in the library to print of copious amounts of international tax law regs.
Class ended (I’ll get to that later) and my first final is tomorrow.
Here are some pictures to prove that this finals season isn’t all about junkies and gloom:
The ersatz police dog:
I heard banging for the past few hours and noticed that the apartment’s lights were on when I went outside with Gertrude, my Rottweiler.
I called the cops and requested to remain anonymous. The cops were already in the building when I got back inside.
I am upstairs. The Rottweiler hears the cops knock on the downstairs apartment as I unlock my door, so the Rottweiler DARTS DOWN THE STAIRS, RUNS PAST THE POLICE OFFICERS, AND RUNS INTO THE JUNKIES’ APARTMENT.
I am horrified.
So I run downstairs, Officer McDreamy is rolling his eyes like “What the fuck, where is this random Rottweiler coming from?!” and my Rottweiler has the pleasure of participating in a police raid.
I am then on the phone with my landlord when the officers shoo the dog back in the hallway. The Rottweiler is terrified because she doesn’t understand why everyone is screaming.
At least I was out of the hallway by the time they started bringing the former-neighbors out of the apartment.
The police officer said that the former-tenants are going to be brought to detox and held there for a few days. There are only a few problems:
I think I’m screwed.
The cafeteria cashiers at work are awesome.
Donna: “Only two bananas?”
Me: “Yep. I’m being healthy.”
Judd and I broke up this morning. He wants to move to the East Coast. I’m stuck in law school for another year. We decided it was better to be friends than to waste our time playing house until he moved. It’s like building your shack in an earthquake zone.
The dog-guest of the week is Judd’s dachshund, Maya.
I am so glad that one of my coworkers is at Dunn Brothers tonight. Now I am not the only witness to the batshit-crazy going on the corner.
There is a bloated, 15-person group in the corner which looks like a book club. Tonight’s theme is “outsiders and specialness” and the conversation contains such gems as:
Middle Aged Lady: “Can I tell you guys something? When I was young I thought I was special. I thought was really special! I thought I was so special that I thought I would have a virgin birth! And it has taken me 55 years to realize I AM NOT SPECIAL. I AM NOT SPECIAL AT ALL!”
It is spring in Minneapolis…
It is Saturday night and Judd and I are on our way to the see “Kick Ass.” We stop at a light and try to avoid eye contact with the sign-holding beggar on the side of the road.
Beggar: “Yo brother from a different mother!”
Me: “Dad surely got around.”
Beggar: “Surely. Can you spare any money?”
Me: “Recession. I have no cash!”
A bloated school day ended with a trip to Memory Lanes.
A rehab program rents the apartment underneath mine. This means that junkies camp out in the hallways and loom by the front door of the building until they are let in.
This also means that there is a lot of random screaming in the middle of the night.
Last night’s drunken screamfest was particularly vicious:
Judd and I went to Davanni’s Pizzeria in Uptown Minneapolis last night.
We walk into the pizzeria and there is a busty, middle-aged woman standing in front of the ordering counter near the door.
Busty looks upset and a little crazy, so of course she comes up and talks to us:
Note: the “Best Week Ever” (BWE) posts are summaries of the prior week.
The past two weeks whizzed by. I don’t know what to say.
On the weekdays I worry about my dogs coming across dead animals.
On the weekends I worry about my dogs coming across my unconscious, sloshed neighbors.
The Wendy’s cups are so big & honking that we usually finish them on the next morning’s dog walks:
Juddson brought his roommate’s pitbull-terrier over. Meet Jabroni:
This is what I have to deal with every time I want to sleep in:
Here are some more pictures from Tickles Bar:
I just had a long, amusing day.
Oh, I am a terrible hypocrite!
I encourage the 1Ls to blog, especially when they are busy. “The busy times are when it is most important to blog!” I say. “You’ll thank yourself for writing!”
So of course I don’t condescend to blog when I get busy. Do as I say, not as I do right? I feel like a governor…
Luckily the free-for-all that is “discussion time” in my family law class is the perfect time to blog! I am so not slacking at this…
So, what happened last week?
Well, the most exciting thing about last week was the heat! I think it got to 80 degrees one day, but maybe I’m exaggerating… maybe it was 90 degrees, or 100…
Regardless, it was warm, and the grass came out:
