The Minneapolis Gay Pride parade was today. I was at work, but I sent my camera with Gibs.
I’m embarrassed by how funny this was to me:
Stay classy Minneapolis.
The dog’s shedding.
For the past few days I’ve found little tumble-weeds of dog hair all over the apartment. I expected that cacti and cowboy shootouts to materialize any moment…
When I got home today there was a little mound of hair near Harley’s kennel and I had had it.
I looked at the dog and informed him it was on.
So a few minutes later I was wrestling a 100lb dog into the bathtub…and Harley got his first-ever bath.
So yeah. He was not thrilled.
But I’m glad I did it because:
I know. Ew.
But better in the tub than all over the apartment!
“Oh, I see. Why doesn’t my Kennel have fancy blue sheets?”
“I unleash the dragon…breath.”
“You are getting sleepy.”
My mission of the day was to find something to slap on my bare apartment walls.
I went to Ikea and Target…what did I get?
That’s right. I bought stickers. Totally grown-up. I know.
Stickers on the walls, law books on the floor: it’s an academic nursery. Fancy!
I couldn’t bring myself buy prints at Ikea or Target since I know how to paint. I’ll throw something together this weekend. The stickers are the only mass-produced thing I’ll buy.1
I also spent an ungodly amount of time moving around furniture only to realize that my original layout was the best one. At least I know for sure now!
1 This is more of a “being cheap” thing rather than a snobby-indie kid thing…contrary to popular belief, I am not indie. I am Kylie Minogue actually…
Funny, I was thinking the same thing:
Okay, we get it. Everybody loves Lucy…
…but enough to have a giant statute of her in the yard?
Methinks not.
Larger versions of this and other pictures are available on the facebook page.
Saw this in Uptown:
I have never been so amused by an armchair:
It is huge!
And I was soooooo tempted to sit. But I didn’t.
I’ve discovered that if you rub Harley’s forehead between his eyes, he goes to sleep.
Today was the last official day of school. There are still review sessions and group practice exams, but no more formal classes.
My classmates had a “glad you’re still alive!” card for me1 and a big bone for Harley-Scalia:
The best part about the card was what one of the international students wrote:
“I thought you among the smartest men I’ve ever met, but now the impression is overwritten…get better soon!”
Hilarity.
It’s almost 8pm and should finish my civil procedure outline … but instead I’m going to bed.
Exam studying starts in earnest tomorrow…
1 AND a vanilla-scented candle, since Harley-Scalia farts something vicious… you rock Cristina!
Yesterday was a bit of an adventure.
After Corporations, I noticed that I had a voicemail – it was from my new landlord. He said that my credit and criminal records came back clean, and I should come down and sign the lease.
I signed the lease after Crimlaw, and then called Harley’s foster parents.1
Yes. The name of the town was Pease. There was also a “Rum River” and a town called “Wellthen.” This reminded me of the town names from the Bemidji trip…
Pease is a little country.
Okay, more than a little country. Think horses, cows, dirt roads, massive trucks, pro-life billboards, antique shops, churches that look like sheds, and holes-in-shirts.
And of course I took the wrong dirt road, but two boys got off their horses (I shit you not) and pointed me in the right direction.
There were large dogs (and horses) everywhere. Some dogs caged, some were chained to posts, and others roamed around freely. I got out of the car and had two pit bulls inspect me. Harley was tied in front of the house.
After greeting the two bulls, I saw a little boy getting on a dirt bike. “You guys have a lot of dogs…” I said. “Yep,” he said. “Susan’s inside.”
Susan opened the door as I walked up the house stairs. She unchained Harley and took him inside. There were kennels stacked everywhere inside the house. There was also a bored looking pit bull, and several more excitable pit bulls in cages. Susan’s (husband?) was on the couch watching “What happens in Vegas” and the un-caged pit bull sat at his feet.
After making awkward small talk with the husband, I look over and see Susan nonchalantly pulling out a BIG HONKING needle. She told the husband to hold Harley, and then stabbed Harley’s coat with the needle. “This is his whatsit shot.”
Susan then recited a long list of Harley’s recent shots and treatments – “if he starts pooping out worms that’s perfectly normal. It’s really good actually.”
After twenty minutes I was speeding back down the dirt roads with Harley in the back seat.2
I then drove fifty miles West and visited Phillip in St. Cloud. He introduced me to his cats, housemate, and her rabbits. His housemate owns two rabbits and spins yarn out of their hair, which is just about the most random, and coolest thing ever.
We stopped in Monticello where Harley got another potty break and a chicken nugget. Once we got back to civilization Minneapolis, I walked Harley around Dinkytown, picked up a few things from the Gamma house and then drove back to my new apartment.
I planned on sleeping on a self-inflating travel bed that my mother bought for me last summer. But, of course my “convenient self-inflating bed” was not so convenient. The pump requires two huge batteries, not included.
So I spent my first night on an area rug with Harley sleeping nearby.
The neighborhood is gorgeous and has an odd mix if old mansions, historic churches, and apartment buildings.
Harley is really calm, so I didn’t have to worry about him lunging at people.
He does however sort of run into me when I’m walking him, like, “Oh, sorry, I want to go to the other side of the sidewalk and I forgot you were there.”
I also need to work on fattening him up:
This means that reinforcing good behavior with treats is completely acceptable for at least the first month.
Although I’m still getting used to the drool (mostly after he drinks water), I think Harley was a good pick.
1 I decided not to get Tula (the pit bull) because I felt that mom’s reaction (OH MY GOD AHH!) was indicative of the general-animus towards pits, and I wasn’t prepared to spend the next 10 years fighting that stereotype.
2 One neat thing that Susan gave me was a dog-seatbelt for the car.
I spent the past two weeks packing my big-honking golf umbrella, printing out offensive amounts of paper in the library, and screaming along to “Big Fun” in my car.
Week #10 was a lopsided week because my Thursday-Friday class was moved to Tuesday and Wednesday. This meant that on that Wednesday I had all of my classes1 including legal writing.
For Wednesday, we had abnormally large reading assignments for CivPro and Corporations, and of course, that was the day that spring briefs were due.
So most of the class spoke in grunts and scowled at anyone who was insufferably cheery. Grr.2
I was up most of Tuesday evening and went to bed immediately after school on Wednesday. I pretty sure I flew home. I slept for about 15 hours. It was amazing. I smile every time I think about it.
I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at work, making up hours that I didn’t put in at the beginning of the week.
That weekend Stella and I went to the 90’s and watched the drag shows. Nina D’Angelo came out in a fat suit and gave a Cher performance. Stella and I were seated in the audience. Obese Cher got off the stage and sat on our laps. Yes, it was a hot mess. And yes, there’s video footage.
When Stella and I got home we saw that some of our housemates had trashed the living room and kitchen:
We were NOT amused.3 Lets forget that happened. Ugh.
Week #11 started with my first oral argument. My opponent and I had the same concept of the assignment, so there was no bloodletting or surprises. It was a fun experience, although I somehow managed to wear a blue-black suit top with my very-black slacks. This is how I get my reputation for keeping it classy…4
Last Monday’s oral argument was our “practice” argument. The real one is next week, and my suit will match. I promise.
This past week was somewhat unproductive because I violated the sanctity of my sleep schedule. If I miss even a few hours of sleep, I get into a zombie-like state after 5pm. Lack of sleep is a self-perpetuating thing because when I am tired I am more likely to stay up unnecessarily instead of going to bed…which means I’m tired the next day and…yeah.
I reconciled with my bed this weekend. A full 8-hours is non-negotiable for the next few weeks.
1 8am – Legal Writing, 9am Civpro, 11am Corps, 1:25 Crimlaw, 2:20 Property. 4pm – a comfort McFlurry then bed time.
2Crabby to put it mildly. Half of us couldn’t make eye contact with the obnoxious guy from Crimlaw. I’m surprised that no one raised their hand and ask for a gag order: “CAN WE JUST HAVE HIM NOT TALK FOR ONE CLASS PERIOD?”
3 The mess wasn’t completely cleaned up for a few days. This was the topic of much griping around the house. It was an interesting social study too. Turns out that mostly the minorities and women in the house were pissed off about it. Some of us noted that…
4 If that wasn’t bad enough, the suit jacket and pants had two different types of pinstripes! My room wasn’t well lit enough for me to catch the mistake before I got to school. (Yes. I literally got dressed in the dark…)It was one of those fashion mistakes that wasn’t glaring, but really irks everyone who notices it. But given how many students have no concept of appropriate formal wear, it wasn’t a big deal.
4 Yes, I know I just said “when I’m tired, I stay up.” That may sound stupid, but it’s true. I stay up so late because I’m vegging in front of a computer or book…
I came home yesterday and two of my four toads were dead.
All the plants in the tank were dead too. I have no idea what happened, but I was over it. I phoned Petsmart and told them that they were taking my remaining frogs back. I then chucked everything in the tank.
Pfft.
By the time I got Petsmart I was pretty cranky. I didn’t buy a fish net and had to pluck the dead toads out of the tank with my hands. Let’s think about that for a second. Dead toad. Bare hands. Dis-gusting.
And yes, handling a dead toad is worse than handling a dead fish… I could still feel the slime as I drove to the store…
The Petsmart manager was nice. He could see that I was annoyed and grossed out, so he didn’t bitch at me for killing two animals. He also, somehow, managed to sell me an allegedly hardier pet. We’ll see how this goes…
Yes. It was gross.1
1 I bleached my hands afterward. And no, that picture is not of a dead toad. I wouldn’t do that to you…
I take 35W home from work. 35W is a big-honking highway that is under never-ending-construction.1
I suspect the city started closing all of the highway lanes at night, because on my home from work the traffic is backed up for miles. Even at 10pm on weeknights! Unholler.
And yet, I always forget about the construction until I’m on 35W and spot the sea of cars ahead. The same thing happens every time: I gasp, gag a little, and then swing my car towards the nearest exit.
And then I wade towards downtown through 6 miles of residential neighborhoods. It’s a great way to get to see the city, but also a good way to get shot.2
Yesterday, during another construction-induced adventure, I saw a castle.3 Yes. I’m serious. Minneapolis has a small castle:
It’s the American Swedish Institute, a Swedish cultural center:
The American Swedish Institute is a historic house, museum, and cultural center located near downtown Minneapolis. Swedish immigrant newspaperman Swan J. Turnblad founded the Institute in 1929.
The Turnblad mansion, which houses the Institute, is on the National Register of Historic Places. The 33-room mansion is a fine example of early 20th century chateauesque architecture. Graced with a majestic two-story grand hall, carved stone and woodwork, sculpted ceilings, and eleven floor-to-ceiling kakelugnar (Swedish porcelain tile stoves), the mansion is now a blend of period rooms and exhibit galleries. (Via the official website.)
This is the coolest thing to ever come out of a traffic jam! I think I’ll swing by next weekend and yes, I will be on the lookout for Ikea furniture…
1 Every city has one. In Miami it’s the Palmetto.
2 I always find the ghetto. Without fail.
3 Judy G., local architect has pointed out that the Swedish Institute doesn’t actually qualify as a castle. Hmmf!
Stella and I went to the clubhouse this weekend and got sat on by a 400 pound Cher!
Pictures (and video!) of the hilarity after the jump. NOTE: not school/work appropriate.
By request, here are some pictures of my fire-bellied toads:
I had a bag of Vanilla-Carmel tea at lunch.
Stella didn’t approve of the tea’s smell:
Stella: “That’s so gross! You know like those nasty candles at the store? It smells like that. It’s like those disgusting pumpkin spice candles that you smell and recoil. It’s like you melted the candle and put it in your cup! Ugh. Seriously, that’s so unsavory. I wouldn’t even put that in my room and you’re drinking it!“