We started the week with a drag pageant, and we ended the week with one too!
Yesterday, the Rose Room hosted the Miss Dallas FFI drag pageant and it was… colorful.
A contestant for Miss Dallas FFI at Large.
A very yellow look for the Dallas FFI “creative” drag competition.
I am a huge history geek, which is why history was one of my totally practical undergraduate majors.
When I first moved to Miami for high school, I enrolled in a History of South Florida night course at Miami-Dade College. The class allowed me to orient myself in my new city through the stories behind its neighborhoods. (It also turned me into an obnoxious trivia-box for friends and family.)
Michael and I spent the evening learning more about Dallas history by watching documentaries from the Building Community Workshop – a local nonprofit “community design center.”
BC has a “Neighborhood Stories” project, which consists of well-produced short films about Dallas neighborhoods.
Here are the three documentaries that we watched:
The first documentary covers two areas of South Dallas called Bon Ton and Ideal. These adjacent neighborhoods were built on undesirable tracts of land that Dallas reserved for black residents.
The conditions in Bon Ton were shocking bad – we had to keep reminding ourselves that the pictures were from the 1950’s, and not the 1850’s.
Flooding in Dallas’s Bon Ton neighborhood.
The Bon Ton neighborhood was in the flood plain of the Trinity River, and many of the houses lacked plumbing and electricity. In the 1940’s and 1950’s, Bon Ton had the nickname “Bomb Town” because white residents literally blew up the houses of black people who moved too far outside of the neighborhood.
A map of the Bombings which led to naming the neighborhood “Bomb Town.”
New highways left only a single point of entry into the Bon Ton neighborhood and effectively walled it off from the rest of the city.
In the 1970’s, Bon Ton and Ideal became drug-ravaged and largely vacant. The documentary highlights the work of local residents who formed community groups to drive the drug dealers out, and then lobbied the city to rebuild the neighborhood after devastating floods.
Pabst Blue Ribbon is a beer that I fell in love with back in Minnesota.
PBR is the beer of the hipster crowd – a cheap light beer that actively markets to young musicians and artists. You could not go to a dive bar or lesbian dance night in Minneapolis without seeing a sea of PBR cans.
The special thing about PBR is that it comes in 16 ounce “tallboy” cans despite being the same price (if not cheaper) than Budweiser. That’s why PBR is a favorite among broke grad school students.
I have attended many gay bar employee drag shows, but this was by far the most entertaining. The event was hosted by Anesta Roches and one of our favorite bartender as “Peaches.”
There were inventive costumes, high-glamour, a bearded queen, and a lot of surprisingly good live singing by the employees who normally host the Round-Up’s karaoke nights.
All of the contestants at the 2016 Round-up Saloon employee drag pageant.
As a charity pageant, the expectations were very low – most employee pageants are half-assed comedy events featuring a lot of burly guys in Goodwill dresses. That is why we were pleasantly surprised by the effort that everyone put into their looks and acts.
It is around 8 a.m. and I am walking the dogs near the Highland Park Whole Foods.
I come across an older woman in a track suit.
Blanche Devereaux: “Are those your dogs?”
Me (Taking off my headphones): “Pardon me?”
Blanche : “The dogs. Are they yours?”
Me: “Um, yes…”
Blanche: “Well they are just lovely! Have a good morning walk.”
Blanche then gets into a waiting town car.
Later that day, I tell one of my neighbors about the encounter, and she is horrified.
Jill: “That’s terrible!”
Me: “Why? She was perfectly nice, I just thought it was an odd question…”
Jill: “You know that’s a microaggression, right? She thought you were a dog walker!”
Me: “That’s hilarious, and strangely appropriate for the neighborhood.”
I came across an editorial about first world problems a strange neighborhood zoning fight involving a mansion-turned-wedding-venue and its neighbors.
Here’s the gist:
Around the same time that Highland Park was getting started in the early 1900’s, some of Dallas’s richest residents built houses on Swiss Avenue.
Swiss Avenue had unique zoning rules, such as each house had to cost at least $10,000 and had to be built for the intended families (no spec homes.) Swiss Avenue was also the first paved street in the city of Dallas and offered private trolley service to the residents.
By the 1970’s, the original tenants were gone and the neighborhood was in decline. One of the organizations that fought to keep the mansions from being subdivided was the Dallas County Medical Society Alliance Foundation, which bought a mansion at 5500 Swiss, known as the “Aldredge House.”
To keep the house running, the Foundation turned their mansion into a wedding venue. The neighborhood then rebounded, the mansions were restored, and the new residents complained about the raucous parties at the Aldredge House.
Then a shitstorm ensued.
The article about the Aldredge House made us curious, so we decided to take very long dog walk to Swiss Avenue and see what it was about.
A large house on Swiss Avenue.
The wide tree-lined Swiss Avenue.
There are certain stereotypes associated with Texas – and particularly Dallas – such as Instagram-famous cheerleaders, oil rigs, and cowboys everywhere.
I try really hard to dispel these stereotypes and convince my friends that Dallas is a modern, progressive, and huge city (instead of a country backwater).
…and then I spend my weekend cowboy boot shopping for a rodeo.
We went to the Texas Gay Rodeo Association‘s Rodeo & Music Festival last Saturday. It was held at Texas Horse Park, which I’ve never been to before.
It was my first time at the rodeo, which reminded me of that epic Pepsi scene from Mommie Dearest:
The rodeo and boot-shopping experience was a tad less dramatic than that, but still fun.
Some fancy baby blue cowboy boots at the Mesquite Boot Barn store.
Some pretty colorful green neon cowboy boots at Mesquite’s Boot Barn.
Neon cowboy boots at Boot Barn in Mesquite, Texas.
Opening ceremonies at the 2016 Dallas Gay Rodeo
Things started at the Fort Worth Stockyards because Michael had never been before (despite living in DFW for 7 years now!)
The Stockyards are always priceless people-watching, and certainly didn’t disappoint this time.
The most bored and miserable looking longhorn cow that I have seen, with the Texas historical museum in the back.
Artery cloggers at the Stockyards – who said we had to wait for the State Fair?
An ominous warning that this may be the last longhorn you take a photo with.
I ran into one of my neighbors in the hallway today:
Jill: “I am almost done moving to my new apartment!”
Me: “Nice. I hate moving. Are you doing Rug Doctor for the carpets?”
Jill: “Rug Doctor?”
Me: “The carpet steamer.”
Jill: “God no!”
Me: “…but aren’t you cleaning your carpets?”
Jill: “No.”
Me: “…but what if the building charges you?”
Jill: “Then fuck’em. I don’t care. I’ll fight that battle if I get to it.”
I wish I had this attitude to moving – the recent move would have been vastly less stressful.
We spent our time chowing down on Gardein and watching TV.
This is what 29 looks like.
One of the best things about the new apartment is that we have HBO Go, which means that I finally got an opportunity to watch the Beyonce On The Run Tour special.
The timing for my Beyonce binge was perfect because she’s apparently going to release a new video album/TV special/whatever-the-hell soon:
I am so excited.
This must be how diehard Apple fans feel when a new product is about to be launched.
However, the brooding preview video looks like the silly clips that preceded Rihanna’s ANTI album.
Moving is always more time consuming and painful than I expect. Between scrubbing grout and an embarrassing number of Home Depot trips, I am exhausted.
And yet I survived, somehow.
Scrubbing the grout at my old apartment while moving out.
I was highly paranoid about getting charged move-out costs since my last building nailed me with a $1,000 bill. This time everything would be scrubbed, bleached, steamed, polished, and photographed.
So I spent the entire weekend cleaning, including shampooing the bedroom carpet. (I rented a Rug Doctor from the Kroger across the street. Super cheap, and easy to do. I highly recommend it.)
On Monday, I marched downstairs to schedule my move-out walk-through with the building manager. He was in the middle of dealing with the police and had to reschedule for that afternoon. Apparently two apartments were broken into over the weekend.
She’s this nice slightly older woman, and she is usually in the middle of an oddball conversation when I walk into the store.
We had a bit of an awkward conversation the other day –
Barista: “So is that your partner outside?”
Me: “Yep!”
Barista: “Do you live together?”
Me: “Not yet, but he’s moving in next week.”
Barista: “You guys sure move fast. Is it because you can get gay married now?”
Me: “I think it has more to do with leases being up.”
I am transferring to a bigger apartment tomorrow and the packing process is well underway.
The worst part about moving is that you are confronted with all of your choices – the dirt, the dog hair, the bad purchasing decisions.
Moving this time around is still a hassle, but not so terrible as moving from Minnesota to Texas. This is mostly because I already ditched most of my belongings, so there isn’t a ton of extra crap to throw out.
Plus, this time I’m moving 90 feet instead of 900 miles.
One morning I noticed a woman exit Starbucks and give her yippy dog a small cup of whip cream.
Apparently this is a “secret menu item” called a “Puppucino.” Some Starbucks locations insist that you use that cheesy name when ordering, but most baristas just look at me crazy when I ask for one.
So it’s a thing, sort of.
Gunter and Ingrid at Turtle Creek Park with Puppuccinos.
We ran into some interesting graffiti while hiking through the Trinity River Park.
The Trinity River wraps around downtown Dallas and is more like a glorified creek that covers a massive flood plain anytime it rains.
There are also plans to develop the flood plain into one of the world’s largest parks, but right now most parts are just unsafe urban wild land.
The portion of the park closest to downtown is safer because it is not wooded, but rather a massive open field with the river/creek running through it. That is where we walked the dogs recently and came across some pretty interesting street art.
Here are the pics!
Street art of air balloons under the Trinity River bridge
Graffiti under the Trinity River Bridge
Graffiti that borrows characters from Super Mario
We recently explored the Dallas Design District and ran across a massive Playboy Bunny sign.
This Richard Phillips creation was funded by the magazine and originally installed in Marfa, Texas. The town and Departmenrt of Transportation viewed it as an advertisement and ordered it hauled away.
The 40-foot statue reappeared in 2014 on Riverfront Boulevard in the Design District. Apparently Dallas is less opposed to advertisements than our artsy West Texas counterparts.
Bottomless mimosa brunch is a time-honored gay tradition.
You pull yourself out of bed, slap on some sunglasses, and sashay to the local bar-restaurant for day drinking.
Over the years, I’ve learned that there are 5 cardinal rules for surviving a mimosa brunch.
Brunch at British Beverage Company in Dallas, Texas. They have a mimosa bar that allows you to choose your own garnishes and juices.
We had a little bit of everything this spring – Real Housewives, dog parades, cocktail competitions, Irish parades, celebrity drag queens, puppy drama, bingo, wine, hockey, cocktails, manure stench, more cocktails, a male pageant, and much, much more.
Here are some of my favorite shots of the spring:
The dogs by Trinity River Bridge
A man blasting music from a segway on the Katy Trail
Gunter the chihuahua chowing down in front of Starbucks (we always get them whip creme)
After several tries, we finally got the correct lease from my apartment building.
The next step is transferring utilities, such as electricity. (Texas forces you to pick your own power company, which I still think is strange.)
I now have to find a new energy provider, because I just got fired by my current energy company.
Me: “Hi. I’m moving to a new unit in the same building and would like to transfer my energy plan.”
Energy company: “Is this it a new part of the building?”
Me: “…no…”
Energy company: “We can’t find it in the system, so we are canceling your plan since we can’t provide service to your new unit.”
Me: “So you’re telling me that you can provide service to my current unit, but not to an apartment 50 feet away in the same building?”
Energy company: “Yep. That’s right. Nice knowing you. Toodles!“
My mom came to town this weekend for a business meeting, so we showed her how Dallas does Easter.
We had Easter brunch at Quesa MX, which is a Mexican restaurant on Cedar Springs.
I recently became re-interested in Quesa after they hosted a happy hour at iLume – the new manager said that he overhauled the menu and promised that the food was better.
The way we could tell is because there was a guy on the patio laying in his own vomit.
His friend looked so upset…
Quesa was considerably calmer on Sunday, and the food was surprisingly good. I think Quesa will be a nice alternative to Mattito’s and Cedar Springs Tap House, which both get incredibly packed.
After brunch, we grabbed the dogs and went to the Easter dog parade near Turtle Creek.
It was quite the production.
The crowd at Easter in Lee Park / Dallas Pooch Parade.
Guys with matching outfits and bunny ears at Easter in Lee Park
A guy with a matching dog at the 2016 Easter Pooch Parade in Dallas.
A pink poodle at the Dallas Easter Pooch Parade.
Spectators taking a selfie during the Easter Parade – is that Dustin in the background?!
Picnics at Lee Park near Arlington Hall