The end of guilt

My week is full of at least 60-hours of law and tax related work.

I work full-time at the office, clerk at the public defender’s office, volunteer at a tax non-profit, and regularly skip over to the law school for the tax law clinic.

I do 60-hours of work in three different counties, but life is so much easier and less stressful than having the regular law school schedule.

This semester I have 6 credits: the tax law clinic and a foreign-language movie class that meets 1 day a week. No law school classes or finals. BUMP!

The difference between work and law school is the existence of boundaries. Ten hour days at the office, rambling bail dockets, and clinic meetings aren’t a big deal because I have a clearly defined role that ends when I leave each place.

And unlike after-hours work for a job, these extra-hours are unpaid and will probably not further your career.

The worst part of law school is that nagging feeling that there is something undone. You can always prepare more, study more, read a hornbook, etc. but at some point you have to quit studying. The extra information probably won’t help and you’ll never compete with the library-dwelling gremlins anyway.
Putting the books down is a good idea, and healthy, but it still feels like quitting. The feeling of “I could be doing this that and the other” soils every outing, meal, and non-school related activity. It’s a horrible guilt that causes indigestion and mass crabbitude.
But that guilt is gone. I am not allowed to work at the office more than 10-hours per day or 40-hours a week for fear of a FLSA violation and the public defenders dismiss most of the clerks after the end of the docket. My obligation ends when I leave the building. There’s no reading, homework, or looming final.

And even at the tax law clinic, there is only so much work I can do before I have to wait on a client or the IRS. There’s a clear end to my role. And I love it.

Good god, it does get better after law school doesn’t it? This is going to be the best semester ever.