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legal humor

On the record: Packers, Outrageousness, and “Retards.”

Professor T: “Let’s say they are all standing around Siliznoff chanting “DRILL BABY DRILL!!” while holding drills in their hands…”
Professor T: “A heart attack can ruin your day.”
Professor T: “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sued by former students because I’ve grilled them for eight successive days in a row…do they have a cause of action?”
Student: “No, because they signed up for it.”
Professor T: “And I’m grateful for that! They volunteered for being abused by me!”
Professor T (on the ALI): “Can these professors do that? Collude to create new law?”
Student: “That’s what common law is all about!”
Professor T: “What, COLLUSION?”
Student: “Yeah he’s liable! When you go into a store you don’t expect to be emotionally harassed, aside from one of those Boston Fish stores...”
Student: “There’s a difference between saying to someone in your group of friends, “dude you’re a retard” and actually going up to a retard and saying “dude you’re a retard.”
Class: (collective gasp).
Student: “Every sporting event has outrageous conduct – Like at a Packers game! If outrageous conduct was a tort then every Packers fan at the stadium would be sued!”
Professor T: “I want to go right up to the line of being outrageous without stepping over that line. I want to exercise my full right of outrageousness without being sued.”
Professor C: “You’re still not getting where I want you to go. So I’m going to tell you where I want you to go and then you can repeat after me.”

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