Menu
Law School / legal humor / on the record

On the Record: Professors C & T

Professor C: “Let’s play a game. I’m the Judge. Pat, you are the lawyer for the plaintiffs, and Sarah, you are the lawyer for big evil Gateway Corporation who won’t pick up my telephone calls...”
Professor T: “So do we blow up his house and say, “Congratulations you just won the honor of being the good soldier on the march towards a better society?”
Professor T: “Jill, what about our natural, inalienable rights? Where do they come from?”
Jill: “I don’t know, I was a business major.”
Professor T: “Sovereign immunity! Why can’t you sue the state? Because you can’t sue the state. That’s why. The king does no wrong.”
Professor T: “It’s the same reason why we put toxic chemical plants in poor neighborhoods: It’s cheaper!”
Professor T: “God didn’t blow up the plaintiff’s house! The defendant did! And he did it on purpose…like you know when you stick a piece of dynamite in the side?”
Professor T on Snowmobilers:
Professor T: “I have a river on my property. It’s winter. Snowmobilers love to ride on frozen rivers during the winter. It’s like a highway. I have a white water rapid on my property too. The rapid doesn’t freeze as much. And snowmobilers love to see if they can jump the water. So one evening I get a knock on the door and we had to rescue a snowmobiler…”
Snowmobilers & Necessity Privilege:
Professor T: “Necessity? Even for snowmobilers who don’t have the brains that god gave geese?”
Professor T: “I gave the snowmobiler food, brandy, a sauna… And he never even gave me a thank you card! So I’ve resolved that anyone who falls through the ice on the river is in the state of nature…”
Professor T: “Or this snowmobiler, I nominated him for the Darwin award…you know, he shouldn’t be in the gene pool…”

No Comments

    Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.