Congrats: pay up.
Professor T: “It just so happens that the employee goes out and does something tortuous and we congratulate the employer for their liability…”
Professor T is out of control
Professor T: “So when I’m driving home today I commit a tort. Can you sue the school?”
Jack: “No. The university isn’t exercising any control over you.”
Professor T: “And you’re suggesting they have any control of me NOW? PROFESSOR T IS OUT OF CONTROL!”
“Culminating Purposes”
Professor T: “So the store manager goes off and visits his girlfriend and commits a tort en route. Is his employer liable?”
Jack: “It depends on his intent.”
Professor T: “His intent was to visit his girlfriend for cumulating purposes.”
Reprints of Love
Professor T: “So at this conference there’s this really attractive criminologist that I’ve been eying for a while. So I offer to show her my reprints (reprints are a form of intellectual seduction)… so she’s upstairs in my hotel room looking at my reprints and I behave in an “ungentlemanly way”…can she sue the University?”
Professor T goes there…with Jill!
Professor T: “So Jill, what if I put the moves on you? Is the university liable for my intentional actions?”
(Jill makes heaving motion)
Professor T: “God, what a grotesque thought! It’s like an intentional infliction of emotional distress… are they liable?”
Jill: “I guess if you have a record of hitting on students…”
Besides that…
Professor T: “What’s the most dangerous part of running a newspaper business? I mean, besides getting your pressmen chopped up in the printing machines…”
Top chef:
Professor T: “What about a restaurant with a top chef? He runs the kitchen. No one controls him – If anyone even asks the chef a question he raises a knife. And let’s say he serves a salmonella salad…”
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