I stop studying when I get this look:
It’ll be there in the morning!
I stop studying when I get this look:
It’ll be there in the morning!
More of Professor L’s sound and fury:
Professor L: “For our last day we have a really easy agenda – actually NO! I’m gonna unleash on you! This is all my aggression for all the times you were unprepared for class! Haha, I’m kidding, you guys were really good …for the most part…”
Only in Con Law…
Professor L: “Ms. Dennel? Demmel?”
Jill: “Her name was De-mal. Sarah Demal.”
Professor L: “Yes, so Ms. Dememel? Dennel? Oh forget it! I’ll just call you Ms. D!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “So Ms. D…”
Jill: “Actually, I’m Jill. Jill Smith.”
Professor L: “Huh? Where’s Ms. Demmel? Is Ms. Demmel, Dannel, Dennel not here today?”
Jill: “Sarah Demal sat in front of me. She actually dropped out the first week of class…”
Professor L: “OH! That explains things! I just had a note here that she wasn’t here the last time I called on her… hm.”
Jill: “…So do you want me to answer?”
Professor L: “No. I didn’t even want to call on you! Forget it!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “This is literally sound and fury signifying nothing…THERE! I got a Shakespeare quote in! ”
(later)
Professor L: “Okay, let me turn to…Ms. Chang…oh, she’s not here. She didn’t drop out too right?”
From Torts:
Professor T: “Just the aroma of bucks will affect the flavor of the milk… and you thought you came to torts today…so what happens when your neighbor moves in next to you with buck goats?”
Jack: “Do they stink?”
Professor T: “As my daughter said, it smells worse than a skunk…so your neighbor moves in with goats and the goats just are doing what goats do: stinking up the whole neighborhood…”
There’s snow on the ground. That means that my fall pictures are no longer current, so I threw all of the semester’s left over pictures on facebook.
From torts, Ind. H. B. R.R. Co. v. Am. Cyanamid Co., 916 F.2d 1174 (7th Cir. Ill. 1990). The gist: a railroad creates a toxic chemical spill in suburban Chicago ala DeLillo’s White Noise.
The court says: “Maybe you shouldn’t live there.”
Court: “Brutal though it may seem to say it, the inappropriate use to which land is being put in the Blue Island yard and neighborhood may be, not the transportation of hazardous chemicals, but residential living. The analogy is to building your home between the runways at O’Hare.”
Oh dear…
Professor C: “You can expect that my exam will take you 8 hours to do. Some 8 hour exams are like 2 hour exams that you have 8 hours to do, but my 8 hour exam is for 8 hours.”
(Nervous chuckles from the class)
Jill (loudly): “Gee Thanks!”
For our last day of contracts we read Alaska Packers’ Asso. v. Domenico, 117 F. 99 (9th Cir. Cal. 1902).
Professor C couldn’t resist taking a swipe at Palin…
Professor C: “So we have Salmon fishermen here. And this takes place in Alaska, which we know is close to Russia…”
Landauer v. State Industrial Acci. Com., 175 Ore. 418 (Or. 1944)
Lexis headnotes:
OVERVIEW: The claimant was employed in a poultry-processing plant. An allegedly dead turkey kicked the claimant in the breast as the claimant was processing the turkey.
The claimant filed an action for workmen’s compensation benefits seven months after the accident and alleged that the injury caused her to develop breast cancer.
The Commission refused to consider the claim on the merits because it was not filed within three months after the accident. The claimant alleged that the Commission abused its discretion in refusing to consider the merits of the action.
The court affirmed the trial court and held that the Commission did not abuse its discretion in refusing to grant the claimant permission to file her claim more than three months after the accident occurred.
The claimant should have filed her claim within three months of the accident or should have presented an affidavit by a qualified physician certifying that there was a casual connection between the accident and the development of cancer in the claimant’s breast. The Commission did not abuse its discretion in the absence of some corroboration of the claimant’s unverified petition.
One sees the strangest thing while walking to the library…
I’m skating at the downtown ice rink and there’s a group of teenagers playing tag. One of the kids slams into me and I wamp down to the ground – the teen falls face forward, flips over, and smashes into the wall upside down.
It was cartoonish.
I partially break my fall with my elbow…and my shoulder hurts for the rest of the night.
The teens kept playing tag, and Jamie kept muttering dark threats at them… this is how it went:
Law school is ballin’outrageous and don’t let anyone tell you any different.
I’m working on my constitutional law outline at Starbucks. LexisNexus paid for my latte, and the stoner-esque Barista just gave me a free coffee and cookie. I think finals makes the law school gods smile down benignly, at least in Minnesota.
Outlining is an interesting process. It’s like a marathon runner training for a sprint – same basic skill set, different medium.
I’m creating my outline (at least for conlaw) in a deliberately slow way: hand writing an extensive outline, then condensing by half, then condensing it further to two pages, then typing.
If it’s not in my head by the end of that, then it’s not happening.
The past two weeks have been breezy. Last weekend I was in Miami. Cirque du Soleil, palms, heat, and chaos.
I spent 5 hours on public transit one day…rambled throughout downtown several times, and there was that boomkat-tastic Fedde Le Grand show…
Last night I traumatized Jamie and his friend with everyone’s favorite pair of girls (and their single cup.) Afterwards, instead of shanking me (which I’m sure he wanted to) Jamie took me to see Milk in uptown.
Milk is the Harvey Milk biopic. It was interesting and well done…although the hair was awful. I also have the biography (Mayor of Castro Street). I like reading the bios to supplement the movies. I did the same with Capote…although Capote’s biography was a brick of a book…
Naja. After Milk, we went to this diner and had the coolest waitress ever: she was about 6’2, 250lbs, piercings, full-sleeve tattoos, platinum blond hair, and this little layered denim get up. She was absolutely the business. She was like a voluptuous, female version of Rainblo…
Oy vey!
So, last night Jamie and I got our boomkats on at the Townhouse.
The DJ played Pop Lock & Drop It immediately after Walk It Out (ie, Jansen wiles out.)
Jamie stopped dancing and just sat on the speaker like “What the hey is this nutcase doing?”
Tis’ how I do…
Best thing ever was Jamie later on…
Jamie: “So what is that drop lock pop? Lock pop drop? Whatever the hell it’s called!”
He butchered the name so much that I started messing up!
Me: “Well the drop pop…wait, dur-da-dur!”
We’ll work on it.
Yesterday I decided to take the camera to BestBuy because it’s still under warranty. So I hop on the light rail and ride it for 30 minutes to the Mall of America.
I get to BestBuy, explain to two different managers what the problem is, and wait patiently while they try to figure out their computer system…
Associate #1: “George, why isn’t this working?”
George (Associate #2): “I dunno. Manager?”
Manager: “Uh, let’s call Ron, manager #2…”
Ron (Manager #2): “Uh…that’s weird.”
Associate #1: “What are my hours for tomorrow? Can I get a mall pass?”
Ron: No. Walk around.
Manager #1: I walked around yesterday, it wasn’t that bad…
I’m standing there with my beauty pageant smile, thinking “wtf mate?”
The team fixes their computer glitch and calls the Geek Squad worker to look at the camera.
Geek Guy: “Hm. Looks broke, yo.”
Ron then tells me to go get a new camera. Yippie!
I bought the Flipcam for $179.99. It’s now $129.99.
The swank new HD version is $179.99….so I ask the manager if I can get the new version (because I knew that for laptop warranty replacements they look at the price, not product…) Ron says, “Sure!”
Hooollleration!
So this is where I fuck it up: Ron the Manager is giving me the receipt and the new camera, and I ask him if my old cord will work on the new camera.
Ron: “Oh, the cord won’t work will it? I guess you have to get the old version of the camera.”
Me: “Can I just get the new camera without the cord?”
Ron: “No. When we send it back to the manufacturer without the cord they charge us.”
Me: “How much is the charge? It’s a $50 price difference. The cord can’t be $50. I can pay for the charge. Can you look it up?”
Ron: “No.”
Me: “Well, do you sell the cords?”
Ron: “No. Go fuck yourself, thanks.**”
Crapola. Ron yanks the receipt and camera back. I cry a little inside.
So I take the 30-minute train ride home with my broke-ass camera. I then toss my room (like the KGB) and of course the cord isn’t there. That means the cord is in Miami…somewhere.
I then hop on a bus to Rosedale, to go to another BestBuy. The plan: try a sob story about Ron the Pissy, and if that didn’t work, just get the older version of my camera and take the $50 loss….but…
The trip to Rosedale was a little scary…. there was (among other things) the angry, speeding bus driver, and the med student in the front row screaming “WHEN YOU’RE DEAD YOU’RE DEAD!” into his phone…
…issues.
I eventually get Rosedale and find the store. The squat customer service lady gives me the ‘fuck you’ look and says (essentially):
“I don’t know what Mall of America’s Big Box was smoking. This is a service warranty, not a replacement warranty. Fuck you. We have to send it for repair. Wait two weeks. Go wait in the Geek Squad line. NEXT!”
The Geek Squad guy shipped the camera out and said he’ll probably call me. If not, oh well. Heh.
Okay, so, the next problem was getting home. Rosedale is a far-ish suburb…and it’s already dark.
I roam around a bit and eventually find a bus parked at a transit center. I ask the bus driver if his bus goes “to the university, downtown, or to the train”, the bus driver is non responsive, but this small, spritely woman on the bus says, “Yes! This bus goes to the 48th street stop for the train! That’s where I’m going!”
So I get on.
Mistake!!
Turns out that she read the schedule wrong. I realized this when the bus rode past Macalester College… in St. Paul.
The bus driver eventually stops the bus and asks us where the hell we think we’re going…
“To the 48th street stop!” the woman says.
Bus driver: “I don’t stop there. That’s bus 64H, this is 64B! Get off. Take the 54 to the airport. You offend me with your stupidity.”
Oops.
So we eventually get on the 54 bus, which takes us to the airport…
…what makes this annoying is that the airport is two stops from the Mall of America. I would have saved two hours by just taking the hour round trip back to the freakin’ mall…. although that would mean returning to Ron the Pissy… (but at least then I’d have a camera?)
The train eventually arrives. I take the train to the Stacks, hoping I don’t get shanked…
… I then walk to Carlson and leave with Jamie to go to Punch! Pizza.
Of course I bitch about the metro-transit/best-buy adventure in the car….
I had never been to Punch! Before. It’s co-founded by Caribou Coffee guy…think Chipotle: The Pizza Store, but not quite California Pizza Kitchen…
Jamie thought I was crazy, but the decorations in Punch! are scary… for example, the grizzly heads hanging from string above the drinks…there were also these dudes:
They are almost on the level of the schizophrenic lady who decorates our local McDonalds…
** Ron didn’t actually say that last part…his bitchy attitude did.
Poor Jack…
Professor C: “Jack, what test does the court use?”
Jack: “Uh… restatement § 261, “Discharge By Supervening Impracticability” it says “Where, after a contract is made….” (starts reading it)
Professor C: (cutting Jack off) Okay, we get it. It’s on the page. So what part of the test isn’t satisfied?”
Jack: “Uh, what test are we talking about?”
Professor C: “JACK! YOU JUST READ THE TEST FOR US!”
(Class laughs)
Jack: “Oh, when I get called on I can’t even think…”
Grandmother has a saying:
“Wer den Pfennig nicht ehrt, ist die Mark nicht wert!”
(Who doesn’t value the penny isn’t worth the dollar.)
I didn’t give the phrase much thought until 7th grade, when my mother, (a waitress at the time) bought a $2000 computer for me with the spare change she saved from her tips.
Yesterday was a reiteration of the power of change (No, not the Obama kind…); My spare change bowl was filling up, so I threw the coins in my string backpack and took them to the TCF change counting machine at school.
The total was $86. Cha-ching!
The lesson? Shit adds up. Be it bad loans, lack of sleep, or quarters in a change jar…
Re: the barren cow case…you know my notes had to reflect the silliness.
Mr. and Mrs. Pickles purchased an apartment complex and received a nasty surprise:
“Five or six days [after signing the contract], when the Pickleses went to introduce themselves to the tenants, they discovered raw sewage seeping out of the ground.”
Of course the apartment building is condemned by the county, the cost of fixing the defective sewage tank is prohibitive, and the court doesn’t rescind the contract.
Basically, the Pickles were screwed.
And our professor went there:
Professor C: “So we have a couple named the Pickles, and they find themselves in a pickle! Hah! I’ve been waiting ALL SEMESTER to tell that joke…”
Indeed.
In the decision the court mentions then discards the Barren Cow case. Complicated legal analysis? Not really…
Professor C: “The courts problem with the historical analysis is that it DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!”
I just imagine Mrs. Pickles with big Winehouse-beehive hairdo, all excited to meet her new tenants, stepping into the soggy, smelly grass…
Textbook editors must assume that no one reads the notes after cases. The notes contain the most random tangents – for example, from the contracts book:
“Like many law students, you may sometimes wear a sweatshirt quoting Shakespeare’s famous line from Henry VI, Part II: “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” You may be aware that in that speech, Shakespeare was not in fact damning lawyers; the line is spoken by one of a gang of villains, and was intended to express the idea that for evil to triumph, it would first be necessary to deprive society of the protection of the law. But most of your fellow citizens, sadly, probably take those words at face value—and perhaps agree with them.”*
I have never seen anyone wear this ‘sweatshirt’ at UMN. It may be Minnesota, but we aren’t that frumpy. The Shakespeare sweater would be the legal equivalent of Leslie Hall’s gem sweaters…or her octopus suit…
*(Problems in Contract Law, Knapp/Crystal/Prince, Aspen Publishers)
Today in Torts we had a lecture by a local attorney who worked on the Exxon-Valdez oil spill case.* The attorney was intense, yet funny. Here are some quotes:
Attorney: “I was the Barry Bonds of law, and let me tell you: it was sweet.”
Attorney: “We only settled it two years ago. So while you guys were having rich and full lives, I was going in and out of the court of appeals…”
Attorney: “The Supreme Court gave a survey of law. They started off with a quote from Hammurabi, but they might as well have started with the bible…”
Attorney: “If I hit you on purpose – because you’re the asshole I know you are – that’s a purposeful act.” **
Attorney: “If you come and work at Someone & Somebody with me, you’ll make so much money you’ll choke on it. Then, after five or six years, you’ll think “what am I doing with my life? What will make me happy and lead a fuller life?” and then your spouse hears you and screams “NO! GO BACK TO WORK!”
Attorney: “One of my hobbies is suing the federal government… (laughter from audience) for killing wolves and bears…”
The court writes:
“The criterion of “substantial” takes into account the role of punitive damages to induce legal action when pure compensation may not be enough to encourage suit, a concern addressed by the opportunity for a class action when large numbers of potential plaintiffs are involved: in such cases, individual awards are not the touchstone, for it is the class option that facilitates suit, and a class recovery of $500 million is substantial. In this case, then, the constitutional outer limit may well be 1:1.”
Exxon Shipping Co. v. Baker, 128 S. Ct. 2605, 2634 (U.S. 2008)
Attorney’s responds:
Attorney: “If you were working for me and you wrote something like this I’d fire you!”
A student asks a question, and then:
Attorney: “First off you’re wearing a packers outfit, and should be ashamed…”
* Exxon Shipping Co. v. Baker, 128 S. Ct. 2605 (U.S. 2008)
* The attorney used this analogy to explain the Supreme Court’s reasoning. The full quote is, “If I hit you on purpose – because you’re the asshole I know you are – that’s a purposeful act. But if I know you’re a drunk and put you in charge of a school bus and hope you will make it to the other side…that’s equally as blameworthy of an act, and probably worse than if I punched you.”