911

Further evidence as to why I don’t text and drive – on the way to work today I almost smacked into an industrial sized trash bin that was rolling middle of the highway. It was on the top oart of a hill like an obstruction in Mario Kart.

I did a quick gasp/swerve combo and the person tailgating me did the same.

I then called 311 and got my daily dose of government inefficiency:

311 operator: “Minneapolis 311. How can we help?”
Me: “I’m driving eastbound on highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road. Could you send someone to remove it?”
311 operator: “You’ll have to call 911 for that and tell them to remove it.”
Me: “Okay.”

So I called 911.

911 operator: “911.”
Me: “Uh, hi. I was driving down eastbound highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road. Could you send someone to remove it?”
911 operator: “You’ll have to call highway patrol for that and tell them to remove it.”
Me: “Okay.”

So I was transferred to highway patrol, and about 10 miles away from the trash bin at this point.

Highway Patrol dispatcher: “Highway Patrol.”
Me: “Uh, hi. I was –“
911 operator (cutting in): “Yes we have an obstruction on highway 62 eastbound near 32nd Avenue.”
Me: “Huh?”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “Before the overpass?”
Me (Wondering if I should be part of this convo): “Well, uh –”
911 operator: “Yes.”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “What’s going on?”
Me: “Uh, I was driving down eastbound highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road.”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “We’ll send someone right out!”
Me: “Thanks…”