A few minutes into my Conflicts class we heard a ringing sound from the hallway. Jill sits by the door, which has a window to the hallway:
Professor V: “What is that ringing sound?” Jill: “I think it’s coming from the hallway.” Professor V: “Hm.” Jill (opening door): “It’s coming from out here, but I’m not sure what it is. Carbon Monoxide?” Jack: “Is that a fire alarm?” Professor V: “Probably not. Jill, let us know if you see flames.” Jill: “Will do!”
A little Carbon Monoxide isn’t going to interrupt Conflicts.
The end is near! This past week was the week of changes and drama. Finals are creeping closer and so is the law review petition…
Oh and classes are still going on apparently. Most of my section has become impatient with classes. Here’s a rundown:
Crimlaw is a waste of time. Even the “nice” girl has stopped reading Crimlaw and simply outlines during class. We can tell that our professor is extremely knowledgeable, but he is a thoroughly inept teacher. Our professor is also late for almost every class. What the hey?The whole Crimlaw experience is exacerbated by Billy Scratch N’Sniff. Scratch N’Sniff (SNS) is a boy from the other section who spends the entire class periodscratching his nether regions. Yes, even during the double-session we had on rape. Actually, the sex crime topic prompted an unusual amount of participation from SNS…it was bizarre. And yes, he was scratching as he opined about rape. The horror…
Corporations has really picked up. Several of my friends refused to take corporations because of Professor M’s verbal ticks1 but the professor has really relaxed and the stuttering has almost disappeared. The class is usually amusing, with Professor M taking plenty of pot-shots at the Delaware courts. I love it.
Property is a death march. I really like the subject but the class has become tedious. Professor P has a stiff, mechanical style and is relentless when questioning students.It’s really painful to watch. When a student doesn’t know the answer to a question, Professor P simply repeats the question. Over, and over. Have you ever seen two kids do that, “Yeah-huh, nuh-uh, yeah-huh” bit? That’s how questioning feels in Property. Today’s class was especially brutal. please let it be over soon…
But there is always Civil Procedure. I have been preaching the gospel of Professor V since last semester, but most of the section hasn’t come around until this semester. Professor V is the best professor ever and has amazing powerpoints. Today’s slides started with a Yogi Berra quote. Past classes have featured Diana Ross and Anna Nicole. I love it…although we’ve spent so much time on Erie/Hanna analysis that it better be on the exam…
On Thursday I was the distraught 1L in computer services when my laptop suggested that OneNote had deleted ALL OF MY NOTES. Yeah. I was almost the kid howling “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” in the study carrels. My laptop then proceeded to do this:
Unacceptable. Everything turned out alright, but I could have done without the 20 minutes of remmidemmi…
Things in the Gamma house have deteriorated ever since the trashing. The housemates are divided into two camps. People are pissed off and it is getting hard to be civil to Slovenly Housemate.
I tried really hard to be accommodating. But I’ve had to walk over too many beer bottles, pizza boxes, and Coke Zero cans. Slovenly’s friends are also annoying people and over WAY too much.
Charity stops here. I’m pissed off.2
There is going to be a contested election for house president within the next two weeks, but I’m done. I’m moving out after finals. I refuse to live in filth.
I visited an apartment building today that I’m probably going to move into. There were two apartments for rent. The first unit was a dank place on the bottom floor that rents for $575, and the second unit was a huge place on the top floor that rents for $650 a month.
The problem is that the huge apartment is…well, huge. Like, “I entertain” huge.
I’m negotiating a lease right now. We’ll see how it goes.
The building allows dogs, which is crucial. I need a canine running partner.
I arrived for the apartment showing a bit early so I stood outside of the building while talking on the phone. While I was on the phone, a lady left the apartment building with two small dogs.
I was on the phone with Jack and mentioned that the humane society has a lot of pitbulls on its website. My main concern is that a formerly abused pitbull is going to have a flashback and rip my throat out in my sleep. EXTRA: MINNEAPOLIS LAW STUDENT MAULED TO DEATH. DUMBASS ADOPTED AN ABUSED VICIOUS DOG.
Of course potential-neighbor-lady overheard this and started writing down websites where I can find non-throat-ripping dogs. She then detailed the various substance abuse3 problems of the tenants. It looks like it’s going to be an interesting experience…
This was definitely the week of changes. In addition to the apartment hunt, I gave up Splenda and started running because I signed up for a marathon. The marathon is in October, but I’m training now. My first run was 3 miles. The next morning I was so sore that I thought “OH MY GOD I BROKE MYSELF!”
I bitched at myself for a good half hour before I went back and ran 6 miles. The 6 miles were not as painful as I expected. Running is a great people-watching opportunity. The funniest thing I saw was a gay guy walking a pair of chihuahuas.
How do I know he was gay? Well, besides the Juicy Couture sweatpants he was wearing… there was also the fact that his DOGS were sporting pink camouflage hoodies. Diva please.
I had two “Diva Please” moments at bars this week because I was mistaken for a 32 year-old TWICE.
I’m actually 22. I think it’s the beard that does it.
Ah well. Age is overrated, as Sloven Housemate has proven…
1 Professor M used to string together “uh, uh, um, ers” … he never went over six in a row though. Yes, we counted.
2 I refuse to lecture someone who is OLDER THAN ME about “how NOT to be the dirty irritating housemate.” If you haven’t learned how to respect your peers by college, then you have some deep character flaw that’s not getting fixed any time before your wife serves divorce papers on you…
It is Alternative Dispute Resolution week in Civil Procedure.1 Although Professor V has a lot of ADR experience, she has brought in a guest mediator for our in-class ADR simulation. The mediator specializes in employment law, specifically discrimination and sexual harassment.2
The mediator blindsided our “mock attorneys” by quizzing them about the hypo’s fact pattern during an impromptu “scheduling-call simulation.”
The mediator basically said, “Okay, I’m going to pretend to call you guys now. Be prepared to answer questions. Hello? Is this the attorney for the plaintiff? What are the important issues here?”
I was mortified for my classmates, but it wasn’t that bad.
After the “scheduling-call” Jill asked a question: Jill: “Why do the attorneys in ADR become so entangled and angry at each other? I mean at the end of the day, it should just be a job…” Mediator: “Well, keep that in mind! Attorneys are just as subject to unmanageable conflicts as anyone else!”
The full ADR simulation is next week. It should be amusing…
1 ADR includes among other things, arbitration and mediation. ADR is a way to solve problems without the cost of a full out court battle. 2 Which is part of our hypo.
The topic was ‘the evolution of federal question jurisdiction’:
Prof V: It’s hard to remember that before 1875, the Federal Government had a very limited role, especially today when the government is taking over banks and the entire economy…
There’s an interesting series of posts over at Kootoyoo1 called “My Creative Space.” Kristy takes a picture of her creative space every Thursday.
I couldn’t commit to Thursdays, nor creativity…but I did take a few snaps of my study spaces over the past week.
This disaster is in the “computer lab” area of the law library:
The “computer lab” is really a series of study carrels. I think there were computers there at one point, before they forced everyone to buy overpriced laptops. And yes, that’s 100% Cacao. Delicious.
Professor V just pointed out a funny footnote in a Burger King personal jurisdiction case1.
Complaining that “when Burger King is the plaintiff, you won’t ‘have it your way’ because it sues all franchisees in Miami,” Brief for Appellee 19, Rudzewicz contends that Florida’s interest in providing a convenient forum is negligible given the company’s size and ability to conduct litigation anywhere in the country. We disagree. Absent compelling considerations, a defendant who has purposefully derived commercial benefit from his affiliations in a forum may not defeat jurisdiction there simply because of his adversary’s greater net wealth.
1Burger King Corp. v. Rudzewicz, 471 U.S. 462 (U.S. 1985)
I mentioned that this semester feels busier. That was an understatement. Comparing first semester to second semester is like comparing Enya to a Revlon Ball.
My classes this semester are hilarious. Here’s a rundown:
Property: Even compared with the other UMN faculty, Professor P has a monster CV. I was expecting a reincarnation of Ben Stein in Bueller’s Day Off 1, and was pleasant surprised. Professor P is formal, but not boring.
Property is an extremely practical course. I now know what my obligations are if I find something valuable, and how to successfully capture any foxes (or bats) that I might come across…
The reading is interesting so far, but we start Estates and Future Interests this week. Our SSG has made several dark references to Future Interests, so we’ll see if my enthusiasm survives the week…
Civil Procedure: Civpro never disappoints. On Wednesday the law school’s auditorium was turned into a court room for a motion hearing. The case2 involves a pastor who came to Minnesota for a religious conference. The pastor dumped pipe ashes into a pot on his friend’s deck. The ashes started a fire that burnt down the friend’s house.
The angry homeowner was present Wednesday and sat next to one of my housemates. The awkwardness was delicious.
The losses calculated by the homeowner were creative. The plaintiff priced his used mid-90’s model cars using 2008 models. The plaintiffs also wanted compensation for a lost job and wages3 at $320/hour for the husband, and $125/hour for his retired wife.
The judge questioned the compensation: Judge: “One of the arguments was that the loss of job isn’t compensable under Minnesota Law. Do you think the jury could connect the fire with the loss of a job?” Attorney: “You’re speaking to a defense attorney your honor, so my answer is absolutely not!But consider the source…” Corporations: The reading for this course is a bit bizarre. Each assignment starts with what is essentially definitions in paragraph form. “Shareholders do this. A proxy contest is this. Etc.” After five pages of definitions comes the case, which is usually a scandalous hot mess (porn emails, sexual assaults, swearing, swindlers…etc.)
At UMN Law we have optional supplementary courses called “structured study groups” (SSG). The courses are taught by 2Ls and 3Ls.
Today our SSG instructor for Civil Procedure asked: SSG Instructor: “You guys haven’t had multifactor balancing tests yet right?” Jill: “Yeah, in legal writing last semester, but that was a disaster too…”
* The topic is personal jurisdiction balancing tests.
Everything is funny right now. I might be delusional from my 7-hour fees committee meeting and two hours of Civil Procedure reading…but I suspect not.
What’s so funny? Well, Stella and I are at the Purple Onion Cafe, and the guy in line at the register is saying this to his female friend (verbatim): Guy in Line: “Do you just not shower? Is that how your hair gets so nice? It’s cute. I think it’s cute. IT’S CUTE!”
I snicker about this and then read the following hypo in my book:
“Would it have made a difference if the product that exploded had been a toaster that the defendant also manufactured and distributed only in the Northeast?”
I think things have reached that point where it’s best to close the book and walk away…
I know I’m in trouble when my CivPro book tells me a chapter is dull…
“Nevertheless jurisdiction has continued to plague lawyers, judges and law students. Many, no doubt, would agree with the judge who observed that “the legal issues raised in these cases are rather dull. If Judge Wapner had to worry about personal jurisdiction, ‘The People’s Court’ would not be on television.”
Prof V gave us an insurance dispute hypo. The fact pattern is a tad graphic:
On Saturday morning, February 17, 1996, Priscilla Anderson left the apartment to do some grocery shopping. When she left, Elvis Anderson was sitting at the kitchen table. A cloth was spread out on the table and resting upon it were Elvis’ revolver and a bottle of cleaning solvent. Two hours later, Priscilla returned to the apartment and found Elvis dead from a gunshot wound to the head. The autopsy report found that Elvis had died from a shot into his mouth and through his brain. The medical examiner determined that at the time the bullet had been released the barrel of the gun was fully inside the decedent’s mouth.
… who said CivPro was boring?
The first day of Spring semester started with my favorite class: Civil Procedure! Professor V: This semester we will cover more doctrinal topics. So for those of you who wondered why I made you buy that big casebook that you hardly used: your chance is now!
Indeed. Now excuse me while I spend the next four hours studying in an undergrad library.
Civpro is my favorite class, but the exam was… difficult. My housemate felt more strongly about this:
Housemate: “That wasn’t multiple choice! That was multiple rings of hell!”
Half of the gamma (legal fraternity) house is cleared out. The rest of us are leaving at the end of the weekend.
Most of us are tired… and others…
Since the semester ended there have been lots of festivities. I’ll have a legitimate post (and vlog!) tomorrow!
While attempting to describe tomorrow’s civil procedure exam to Jamie: Me: “Not being able to use notes on a civpro exam is like being forced into a blindfolded gymnastics competition and the being compared to all the other gimpy, blindfolded contestants.” **** two hours later…. Jamie (coming into dining room): “I hear too much music out here. I don’t think you’re studying.” Me: “Yeah huh! I’m reviewing dispositions…dysput…desspu… damn it I can’t say it… DESPOSITIONS! RULE 27!” Jamie: “You’re fried.”
Constitutional law and Contracts were 8-hour “take home” exams. My torts exam was a 4-hour examsoft exam.
Examsoft is a timed, basic version of MS Works, (more like Wordpad). It restarts your computer and locks you out of all other windows functions. When you finish the test, examsoft encrypts the test, reboots your computer, and uploads the test to the internet.
The exam was proctored by two intense women – “IS EVERYONE ON THE SAME SCREEN?” Jill: “Wait! I typed in the wrong exam number.” Proctor: “You did what? That’s never happened before… Go outside to the computer people and get it fixed. Everyone will be waiting on you.”
Jill gets her computer fixed. The proctor starts counting down to let us start… then, Proctor #2: “Wait! Those two are sitting next to each other! MOVE ONE SEAT OVER!” Jack: “Me?” Proctor #1: “Yes you. You can’t sit next to someone! Move.”
The whole class watched Jack move all of his stuff over. Silence and awkwardness.
We finally get the go-ahead to start. I open the test. The test consists of one 7-page hypo: a “Department Store” employee gets trampled on Black Friday. His pregnant wife sees the trampling and has a miscarriage. He also has a heart attack that isn’t detected at the hospital.
Oh dear.
After the exam, Stella and I went to a Chinese restaurant near the Stacks. We noticed police lights outside of the restaurant as we paid. We went outside and saw what the remmidemmi was about:
Oops.
Single car accident. His airbag went off.
There’s a presumption of negligence (hah I learned something!) And the cops agreed because they had the driver sitting in the police car. Someday I might represent people like that…assuming I get employed.
I only have one more test to go – Thursday’s Civil Procedure exam. Civil procedure is my favorite class because it’s the “how to be a lawyer” course…although a lot of people seem to hate it.
I have a hard time understanding how someone can attend law school and hate the course about the mechanics of lawyering (how to file a complaint, make motions, etc.)
It’s like a car-mechanic student hating an engine repair class…or a bodybuilder who hates lifting…
Oh, and re: the cold. It wasn’t that bad! The difference between 10 degrees and -30 is akin to Rugg’s negligence distinctions:
“Chief Justice Rugg’s famous distinctions among negligence, gross negligence and recklessness as being distinctions among a fool, a damned fool, and a God-damned fool.” (Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1959.)
Although I did see someone wearing shorts. Yes. Khaki shorts and a parka.
In -30.
His legs were SO red and everyone shot him the, “…no thou didn’t!” look. A housemate pointed out that at -30, you’re an excellent frost bite candidate if you’re wearing shorts…um, yeah….Fail.
Professor V: “Does protecting attorney-client privilege actually foster the communication? The Supreme Court’s answer is ‘we don’t know, we don’t care, we aren’t going to go there, and we don’t have to!”
Beware
Professor V: “Remember General Counsel is not your lawyer. They will sell you down the river!”
Professor V: Given that your open memo due today and the election was last night, I’ll assume that today is not a good day for class preparation. So, unless anyone wants to disabuse me of that idea, I am going to ask for volunteers instead of calling on people.
Professor T: “Judicial activism is a pejorative term people use to describe supreme court rulings they don’t like.”
Con Law began with this quote:
“Despite what Hollywood might have you believe, in situations like this you don’t call in the tough guys; you all in the lawyers.” – George Tenet
Haaa-CHO!
(There’s a boy in the back of the class that lets out these extra-loud sneeze-cough combos…) Jill: “His sneezes are like an assault my senses every time…”
War Powers Resolution of 1973:
Jack: “It makes the president the commander-in-chief of a Cinderella army that disappears in 60 days.”
Professor C: “And by the way, I’m just responding to what you’re saying. If you were saying what I was saying, then I would say what you’re saying.”
Gotcha
The professor puts a slide of a statute up…
33 USC § 1321(f)(2) Liability for actual costs of removal (1) Except where anowner or operator can prove that a discharge was caused solely by
(A) an act of God,
(B) an act of war,
(C) negligence on the part of the United States Government, or…
Professor V: “Who has the burden of proof here? How do we know?” Student: Uh… (tries for several minutes to explain.) Professor V: “This one is actually so easy …that’s why you’re missing it! Let’s read the statute shall we? Except where an owner or operator can prove… hm. Seems like the statute is telling us who has the burden of proof…”
Kevin the tort-machine.
Professor T: “So, Ted, let’s say Kevin pushes you into a hole on the street. Is the creator of the hole liable?” Ted: “Why would Kevin want to push me?” Professor T: “Doesn’t matter. He does.” Kevin: “And I pushed him hard too!” Professor T: “Why is that?” Kevin: “Cus If I get sued I’m going to make it count!”
