We are posted in my favorite room, the video bar, which is like a gay sports bar that plays music videos instead of football.
The Ting Tings are playing when the bar tender plops these small red drinks in front of us.
I shoot the bartender a look like “What the heck?” and he says,
Bartender: “These are from the guy across the bar.”
Law students at lesbian night. You know it was special.
So Erik and I were having issues with a portly woman, who kept invading our space on the dance floor. The consensus was that while gay guys may be incredibly bitchy, some ladies are just rude.
But Erik and I colluded and set up Miss P. on a blind date with Erik’s ladyfriend. It’s in 2 hours. We are chaperoning. Oh my. There will be pictures…
Last night:
Erik, Jessica, and I went to the clubhouse last night and I was mortified.
Me: “Oh my goodness. Minneapolis is so unnecessary in this here yonder. All of this is unnecessary.”
Erik & Jessica: “WELCOME TO MINNESOTA!”
What exactly, was unnecessary? Well, we are in the hiphop room and there’s the shirtless guy with the full back tattoo. He’s flopping on the floor, pants dropping, man-thong showing. Everyone is laughing. Or sighing in disgust. Or both.
A fight erupts between two girls in the back of the dancefloor. (Assault and battery!) Then there’s the subsequent rush of five obese bouncers.
Back tattoo guy is now up, and latching onto a random girl. The bouncers can’t find the fighters because the fight has spilled out of the room.
Then there was the 7-foot tall drag queen. Fergie as performed by the black barbie, and our favorite, convincing blonde. Well, she was convincing until Jessica got a good look at her….but anyway…
People were pretty ridiculous in Miami. But Minneapolis is a new level of messy, and, well…unnecessary.
And you KNOW I took some pictures:
