Professor L explained why our exam is eight hours:
Professor L: “The reason I give you eight hour exams is not just sadism. That’s just a part of it! I like people to suffer…”
She then went on to say that the time limit is to give us time to think about, and flesh-out our answers, but that was lost in the nervous laughter.
It’s flu season…even in Conlaw:
Professor L: “So Jill, what was the compelling interested claimed by the school board?”
(Jack coughs)
Jill: “Well the school board argued that…”
(Jack coughs louder)
Jill: “…and then said that…”
(Jack coughs)
Jill: “…but the court didn’t buy it.
Professor L: “Sorry Jill, I missed that because someone was coughing. Repeat!”
Jack (mouthing): “SORRY!”
Other Professor L posts:
I have Professor L again for Constitutional Law. I love the class, but even if I didn’t, the asides would make it totally worth it.
Professor L vs. the 14th amendment:
Professor L: “Let me quote directly here from the amendment… hm…where is it? Sorry… I momentarily forgot how to read roman numerals…”
Professor L hears a voice:
Professor L (looking down at the seating chart): “Mr. Smith?”
Jack Smith: “Here!”
Professor L (looking up): “Where are you? I just heard a voice…hearing voices! That’s all I need!”
Professor L trips:
Professor L: “Woops! Sorry. There’s a little wire here. I’ll probably fall on my face at some point…”
Professor L says stay healthy:
Professor L: “I was asked to record today’s class because a number of your colleagues are sick today with the swine flu or something. I suspect this is only going to get worse, so wash your hands regularly, carry Purell, refuse to shake hands with people, and stay healthy!”
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Professor L see:
I’m putting Torts aside to write about yesterday’s journey in awful aka, the Big Box fiasco Part II.
So, I’ve called Big Box three times to follow-up on the Flipcam I sent out for repair.
Last month Erik and I approached the clubhouse around midnight. It was about 25 degrees, but there were dozens of people smoking outside.
“That’s when you know something is addictive,” I said, “When it has you willingly standing around in the cold.”
Today we can tack coffee onto that list of addictive things…
I’m preparing for my contracts final at Jamie’s house. Jamie, for whatever reason, does not have a coffee machine. Gasp, I know!
It’s 12 degrees, but the coffee was calling… so, I decide to ‘take a brisk walk’ to the convenience store around the corner.
I immediately knew that the Quik Stop didn’t sell coffee (they didn’t even have a soda fountain!) but I asked the clerk anyway…
Quik Stop Clerk: “Coffee? You mean already made Coffee? Pfft. No. We don’t sell that.”
I leave the store, perturbed.
Should I go back? Well, a bit further down the street is a gas station… Surely they sell coffee…
I think “f-it” and walk a few more blocks down the street.
I don’t realize that the gas station is abandoned until I’m immediately in front of it.
Should I go back? Well, a few more blocks down the street is a Subway. Thank god for chains. Subway has to have coffee. Besides, it’s only 12 degrees. That’s like a dozen degrees before zero…
I walk into Subway, absolutely delighted. My hands are together in a mock prayer. (Yes…it’s that serious) The Subway worker gets off the phone and greets me.
Me (big smile): “Please tell me you have coffee!”
Subway Dude: “Coffee? Pfft. No. We don’t sell coffee.”
Me (mortified): “How do you not sell coffee?”
Subway Dude: “We just don’t.”
Me: “Do you know where I can buy coffee around here?”
Subway Dude: “Erm…there’s a gas station two blocks down the road…”
Me: “It’s abandoned.”
Subway Dude: “Oh, well, uh… there’s a gas station four blocks down the other road.”
Me: “Why does no one sell coffee in this neighborhood?”
Random Homeless guy behind me: “Cus black people don’t drink coffee!” **
Me (turning around): “Well THIS black person drinks coffee!”
Four blocks later I come to a hole-in-the-wall independent gas station. They have coffee. Angels sing and confetti falls from the ceiling (at least in my head).
I get two cups, and march back to Jamie’s.
** It’s a black neighborhood.
What happens when you have the review session the day of another exam:
Professor L: “I’m surprised this many of you stumbled over here for this.”
…there was also someone sleeping in the corner. Eek.
Exam advice:
Professor L: “Don’t make up facts. I don’t want to you to say there’s a man with a gun outside of the school because it happened in Lopez.”
Why we love Professor L:
Professor L: “Well in the marijuana case, the question is: does the commerce clause apply even if they are growing it at home in a little pot? No pun intended of course…”
And the final threat:
Professor L: “I’ll be around in the morning, and I’m going to answer any emails…otherwise good luck! You’ll need it…”
More of Professor L’s sound and fury:
Professor L: “For our last day we have a really easy agenda – actually NO! I’m gonna unleash on you! This is all my aggression for all the times you were unprepared for class! Haha, I’m kidding, you guys were really good …for the most part…”
Only in Con Law…
Professor L: “Ms. Dennel? Demmel?”
Jill: “Her name was De-mal. Sarah Demal.”
Professor L: “Yes, so Ms. Dememel? Dennel? Oh forget it! I’ll just call you Ms. D!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “So Ms. D…”
Jill: “Actually, I’m Jill. Jill Smith.”
Professor L: “Huh? Where’s Ms. Demmel? Is Ms. Demmel, Dannel, Dennel not here today?”
Jill: “Sarah Demal sat in front of me. She actually dropped out the first week of class…”
Professor L: “OH! That explains things! I just had a note here that she wasn’t here the last time I called on her… hm.”
Jill: “…So do you want me to answer?”
Professor L: “No. I didn’t even want to call on you! Forget it!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “This is literally sound and fury signifying nothing…THERE! I got a Shakespeare quote in! ”
(later)
Professor L: “Okay, let me turn to…Ms. Chang…oh, she’s not here. She didn’t drop out too right?”
Jill is suing regardless…
Professor T: “So you’re eating at Café X and you crunch into a crouton, which you find out is a roach. What do you do?”
Jill: “Sign up for Fear Factor!”
Professor T: “What’s that? I’m so disadvantaged for not watching TV…”
Jill: “Oh, it’s a show where they pay people to eat bugs.”
Professor T: “And can you get paid by Café X?”
Jill: “Sure.”
Professor T: “And why are they going to pay you?”
Jill: “Because they are scared of getting sued.”
Professor T: “And what if you just saw the roach in your salad and didn’t bite into it?”
Jill: “Well, then I bite into it and then sue.”
The fun in Constitutional Law continues…
Professor L: “Okay, Mr. Smith. We have the classic situation: you’re walking down the street and someone asks you to explain the doctrine of executive privilege in a nutshell. What do you say besides ‘get away from me’?”
Student: “Well, correct me if I’m wrong–“
Professor L: “Oh I will!”
Jill’s computer starts speaking during Professor L’s class: “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE WON!”
The entire class laughs.
Professor L: “I won’t even try to exercise discipline, because the embarrassment is enough. HOW EMBARRASSING!”
Jill: “Sorry…I had to buy these tickets…and…”
Professor L: “And apparently you’ve won something! I’m sure you’re not the only one who has done such a thing in class, you’re just the only one who has done it with the volume on!”
Professor L: *HACK* “Sorry, I have a cough drop in my mouth and the pieces are going everywhere…it’s actually pretty disgusting...So if I slur you know why…”
Professor L: “Why is my overhead font doing that?”
(the text on the overhead has gray highlighting)
Professor L: “Hm. Maybe this is signaling that dark economic days are here...And, I was joking earlier that I might cancel class until congress passes the bailout bill…”
Professor L: “Sometimes you have a concurring opinion which seems to differ entirely from the majority opinion. It’s like they’re saying, “I think the majority is a bunch of boneheads who somehow, in the dark, they stumbled upon the right answer.”
So we have two stoners…
Jack: “I think we could say that California is the state that has the most people who smoke pot right?”
Professor L: “I don’t know, I think Oregon can give them a run for their money…”
Ken: “Well, I’d like to differ from my colleague here…”
(Debate about the legality of pot ensues between Jack and Ken. An amused class listens.)
Jill: “So we have two stoners…”
What were we talking about again?
Student: “…and therefore, you can argue that marijuana, in aggregate, has a large impact on productivity and therefore affects interstate commerce.”
Professor L: “First thing to remember is always read your statute, because you’re talking about smoking pot and I asked you about handgun regulations… you guys don’t want to stop thinking about the pot…”
The library became annoying around 8am so I walked to my ConLaw class (which starts at 9am.)
There was already someone in the room when I arrived, so I felt less like “that kid who arrives an hour early” and more like, “one of those kids who arrive an hour early.”
Since I was in the wrong room yesterday, I asked the student, “This the correct room for Con Law right?”