I am at a rooftop bar on U-Street when one of our friends introduces us to his ex, Jack. We have the obligatory “I hate asking what people do, but…” exchange, and then Jack excitedly tells us about how much U-Street has changed over the years.
Jack: “It has really gentrified. You know, the only gay bar around here was Nellies – can you imagine? I bought my place around the corner from here 10 years ago and the area was rough.”
Me: “So I’ve heard.”
Jack: “I love how much stuff we have here now. What a remarkable change! You know, if you stay in D.C. you should really buy. It was one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made!”
We talk about how expensive real estate is in D.C. (it’s ridiculous.) Jack says that there are still many “up-and-coming” neighborhoods, and rattles off some names that I have never heard of.
I then tell Jack the story of my coworker from Dallas who bought a house in an “up-and-coming” neighborhood that never gentrified, so he just lives in the hood and has to ward off stray dogs and drug dealers from his property.
Jack: “Unlike Dallas, The District has a limited amount of space. The gentrification will happen. Plus, the neighborhoods are pretty safe, although I did get held up at gunpoint by my place last year…”
Everyone in our group exchanges horrified looks as Jack launches into his “when I got pistol-whipped in front of my townhome” story.