Last night at the clubhouse the drag queen MC found a victim…
Drag Queen: “Birthdays? Do we have any birthdays? Oh shit nevermind, we have someone with a tiara. Hi. What’s your name?”
Girl: “Chelsey.”
Drag Queen: “Chelsey. Look at her. Cute as a button. Why are you wearing a tiara? Don’t tell me it’s your birthday!”
Chesley: “It is my birthday!”
Drag Queen: “Oh lord. This is what they are doing for birthday nowadays? Don’t tell me you got that for your birthday… How old are you turning Chelsey?”
Chelsey: “Nineteen!”
Drag Queen: “Awe. Adorable. And did you get good presents?”
Chelsey: “Yes.”
Drag Queen: “…like what?”
Chelsey: “Uh, like this tiara!”
Drag Queen: “Christ. I knew it. Chelsey, let me give you some advice: Get better friends. They have you walking around here wearing a lame ass tiara...Have a happy birthday Chelsey, without drinks.”
And she wasn’t done yet…
Drag Queen: “Who do we have here in the front row? All these lovely ladies. Why don’t you have drinks? Wait, no one has a wristband…are you all too young?”
(they all nod, except one)
Drag Queen: “You’re the only one old enough and you’re not drinking? SHOOT, I’d rub their faces in it! But I guess you do need to have money to buy cocktails. Hm. That’s probably the problem…”