law review Archives - Memos and Mirth

A voice inside

June 2, 2009

Today I made some delicious smoked pork hocks. I gave the bones and the fatty parts to the dog, and then sat down at my dining room table.

My dining room table was littered with petition crap: outlined cases, notes, the bluebook and copies of the bluebook exercise… pens, highlighters, coffee mugs…

I sat there , staring blankly at the petition mess when I heard a little voice inside me say:

Little voice: “Fuck, this, shit.”

I then spent the next ten minutes chewing pork and thinking about what this¹ meant:

Me: “Is this a fail whale situation? What does this say about my wherewithal? My priorities? Does this make the past week a huge waste of time? Can I just stick it out for the next few days?”

Little voice: “No. I’m quite serious. Fuck this shit.”

Me: “But what about all this time I invested in this?”

Little voice: “Is that how we make economic decisions? Time invested is not a reason to keep on with a bad decision. We are not GNC okay?”

Me: “But …what about my priorities?”

Little voice: “Exactly, asshole. What about your priorities? Since when was petitioning one of them? What about project x, y, and z? Hm? “Oh we will get to that during summer” you said. Well, it’s summer, and you’re petitioning. What about all those other things you wanted to do? Hm? Is being on a journal more important? (Mimicking Jillian Michaels) NO IT IS NOT! Fuck this shit.”

Me: “Well…but…”

Little voice: “But nothing. You have other things to work on. You even took off work to do this petition. That’s unacceptable. Fuck this shit. Say it with me now! Now go get started on those neglected-projects. NOW.”

Ugh. So I finished my pork, tossed my petition, and started my summer.²

¹ “This” being the decision to stop petitioning, not the fact that I was having an inner monologue…way past questioning that.

² Quitting something unimportant doesn’t feel like quitting at all…

1L Summer Summaries / Law School – 1L

Best Summer Ever: Weeks 1 & 2

May 31, 2009

I sort of stumbled into summer, and it was messy…

My civil procedure exam variance smudged the line between spring semester and the first week of summer. The finals period ended on Friday the 15th but I had my last exam on Monday the 18th. I moved some more things into the apartment Monday and Tuesday, and spent the rest of the week working 10 hour days.

The rest of that week went like this: walk dog, iron, work for 10 hours, walk dog again, bed.

I also picked up my petition packet that Friday.¹

Last Sunday I moved the rest of my things out of the gamma house, which created an organizational nightmare – boxes and shitkram cluttered my apartment – even the dog gave me the “this is some bullshit” look… so I spent the beginning of week 2 cleaning and unpacking. The rest of the week consisted of work, hanging out ² with friends, and ignoring the periodic bitch-slaps from the petition-monkey latched to my back.

Two of my coworkers – Cheryl³ and Nadine – have kept tabs on my non-progress on the petition. Cheryl is mortified and amused. Nadine takes a more gung-ho approach since she is also petitioning at her law school:
Nadine: “I don’t understand those people who pick up petition packets and don’t finish them. I mean, there’s no such thing as not getting it done – even if I have to pull a few all-nighters – it will get done. It just has to.”
Amen.

I decided today that finishing the petition is a win-win situation because I’ll either get on a journal or have the satisfaction of showing out by completing the petition. So I spent today outlining my note. I will write it tomorrow. The petition is due Friday, and summer classes start tomorrow.⁴We’ll see how this goes…

Law School – 1L

My first oral argument

April 1, 2009

I had my first oral argument yesterday. It was a ‘practice‘ argument in front of my legal writing professors, but still formal enough to require a suit and a leather folder. Fancy. I know.

The real argument is next week. We will argue before clerks who will act as “guest judges.”

I am lucky enough to be paired with someone who has the same understanding of the assignment: We both view the oral argument as a “conversation with the court” and not a gunfight at the judicial O.K. Corral.

We “served” each other with updated briefs, and kept the other aware of our prep time. This is why we addressed the same issues and didn’t talk past each other in court. No blood letting, or bitchyness. Our reputations are intact.¹

Other students aren’t so lucky. The worst rumor is that a student² has spent 10-hours- per-minute preparing for the oral argument. It’s a 10 minute argument… so yeah, that’s 100 hours. I refuse to believe that. Because, well, that’s sad.³

Although the oral argument is was a lot of fun, I am still petitioning journals instead of applying to moot court. I think a journal will let me explore the academic side of law.

I figure I can get my practical experience through internships and volunteering. And besides, if both of the journals I petition for reject me, I’ll end up in the general moot court anyway. So there’s a chance I’ll have another oral argument sooner than I think.

¹ The people who get into nasty, unnecessarily competitive bitch-fights with opposing counsel are ridiculed accordingly. I think part of performing well in law school, at least at UMinnesota, is not alienating your peers with your drama.
² Jill.
³ I’m all about being thoroughly prepared, but there are so many better uses for 100 hours worth of time, ie, outlining, networking, working out, having a life…etc. Plus I doubt an attorney (esp. in a Criminal law case like ours) has 100 hours to practice a 10 minute oral argument, unless it’s before the Supreme Court…even then…and its a pass/fail course by the way.