physical evidence Archives - Memos and Mirth

Best Summer Ever Week 11: Balls-to-Wall.

August 1, 2010

Man on laptop at cafe by Tim Gouw via Unsplash.

This week was embarrassingly busy. I didn’t even know what day it was during the beginning of the week.
The beginning of the week is a thick, sticky haze, but I think it had something to do with locking myself in my apartment to write my Physical Evidence paper.

The topic was Field Sobriety Tests. The thesis of the paper was that the tests aren’t scientific enough to form the basis of a DUI conviction. Luckily, the driver usually is usually caught with an open bottle in the car, falling over, or admits to being drunk. And the cops are usually organized enough to perform a somewhat more reliable chemical test (urine, blood, breath).

Of course, the evening after I finished my paper I got a bunch of cases on field sobriety tests. I wanted to scream. Actually, I might have. But it was 11:30pm and I was the only one in the building, so that’s okay.

2L Summer / unsolicited advice

“Do you believe any of that s-?”

July 27, 2010

Whenever I get frustrated proofing this Physical Evidence Paper, I just watch the Winnebago Salesman.

2L Summer / dogs / Minneapolis-St. Paul / Uptown Apartment

A summer thing

July 23, 2010

This is the high water mark of the summer.

In May, I finished finals and managed to survive the relentless hanging out with my law school people before they went off to their summer clerkships, study abroad countries, and odd family vacations.

June was all about reconnecting with the non-law school friends I neglected in May. And birthdays. It felt like every-other-day was someone’s birthday. I ran out of cards. Oh, and there was some dating too…. a pride parade, and some business about music production.

July started with loud-ass fireworks, my birthday, and heat. Lots of heat. And thunderstorms. And tornadoes. And hairspray (this is all very dramatic.)

There was also the epic move to the downstairs apartment and a dozen trips to Ikea, Target, and Home Depot. You can call me Tim Allen. Where’s Pamela?

In addition to drilling and the crap-load of cleaning associated with moving, I also became the building caretaker. That means I have to field the craziest phone calls from people who want apartment showings.

2L Summer / Law School

The presentation

July 7, 2010

My physical evidence class had a field trip to the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension for a presentation on arson.

The presentation was punishingly boring. The forensic scientist did not tailor his presentation to his audience, so we got a science lecture. I did not understand a third of the words, and the expert’s charts were incomprehensible.

And of course certain gunners students asked questions.
Lots of questions.

One of my classmates asked over 10 questions, about the science lecture. I’m not one to hate on the intellectual curiosity of others. Good for them.

But it was ridiculous.

I asked one question: “How does your forensic work come into play during trial?”

The scientist balked at the question, said he was getting to it, and then did not give a straight answer when another student re-asked that question at the end of his presentation.

Fail.

After the presentation we got a tour of the bureau. Here are some pictures!

2L Summer

Summer school, experts, belching

June 15, 2010

Glasses on book by Dariusz Sankowski via Stocksnap

Summer school started yesterday.

Physical Evidence is my only course. It is 2 ½ hours long, twice a week, and is all presentations from guest speakers.

Our first presenter was an expert on polygraph tests. The theme was that polygraphs don’t work and have no scientific foundation. And apparently polygraph testers purposefully ask embarrassing questions, like “Do you masturbate in front of a mirror?”

And yes, that was the actual example that the expert used. The expert’s theory was that virtually all men have masturbated in front of a mirror. And apparently the one guy who hasn’t is in trouble:

Expert: “If you haven’t then you’ll fail the polygraph test. You want to have masturbated in front of the biggest mirror you could find. And hopefully you feel really crummy about it! So if you haven’t masturbated in front of a mirror you’re screwed!”