We had a bit of a storm here in Dallas back in February. First it snowed, and then we got near-zero temperatures that overwhelmed the state’s power system.
Half of our apartment building lost power for 3 or 4 days. Our unit had a couple hours of power each day before plunging back into darkness for 12+ hours. Several of our neighbors were sleeping in their cars to stay warm. We also had a moment where a fire alarm forced everyone into the pitch-black hallways and outside into the cold.
We had a little bit of snow in November, but nothing that stuck around. This time, we got about a foot of snow in the District over the weekend, which was apparently a 30-year record.
Although this type of snow storm was nothing special back in Minnesota, D.C. is not equipped to handle snow at all.
The District got its first snow storm of the season today and my dogs have two completely different opinions on the slushy mix.
Minneapolis had a heat wave this week. Temperatures climbed to the low 50’s. Roadways and sidewalks became visible. It didn’t hurt to be outside anymore – in short, it was gorgeous.
And then we got a President’s Day blizzard.
Yesterday’s blizzard brought 17 inches of snow. Shoveling my building’s sidewalks took forever.
I eventually cleared my building’s sidewalks, but then the winds completely recovered everything. I even got a bitchy note from tenants who thought I didn’t shovel at all. It was horrible.
So Havlers decided to come over on the eve of the blizzard.
We started the night by walking the dogs around Lake of the Isles and went to bed after watching trashy reality TV.
Halvers insisted on bringing his car to my place (he lives two blocks away) and… well…
Massive fail.
We stayed in my apartment all day.
I officially live in a winter wonderland.
This weekend’s storm dumped about 6 inches on Minneapolis, which Gertrude loved.
Let’s just say it took a long time to get home.
I had a suit on today because of a tax clinic meeting. I still had this suit on when I left work, so there I am, tie and loafers, excavating the car with snow flying everywhere.
What’s worse than being a Fedex guy in a snow storm?
…being the Fedex guy with the broken truck.
It snowed a bit yesterday.
Parking on the wrong street during a snow emergency means a few hours at an impound lot and a hefty fine.
The City of Minneapolis has a parking grid available online. St. Paul doesn’t. This was a problem because Trivia night is in downtown St. Paul, and I did not know if my car was safe because I could not find any “we plow here” signs.
I was scared of getting towed, so I left the bar to move my car to a garage.
The construction in downtown St. Paul and the random one-way streets caused me to spend at least 15 minutes driving in a huge, awkward circle. I ended up on the wrong side of the street several times. The cops got suspicious. It was a disaster.
I eventually found a parking garage near the bar. The garage was underground and looked like a basement from the SAW horror movies. The lighting was dim and the columns were unpainted. Rats somersaulted on the partially flooded floor.
I walked to the pay booth and saw a sign that read “Garage closes at 10pm. Plan accordingly.”
A random middle-aged woman enters the garage and I ask her how one gets into the building after 10pm.
Random woman: “After 10pm? I dunno. Just park in the covered alley.”
Me: “The covered alley?”
Random woman: “Yes. There’s a covered alley right on the side of the building that has parking spaces. It’s always empty. Here, let me show you. Follow me.”
So I let the random woman take me to the abandoned covered alley, and then park.
The “covered alley” is more of a tunnel. It is the kind of tunnel where a jogger finds a burned body on Law & Order. I leave my car with the understanding that I will be killed and eaten upon my return. Thank god Christopher Meloni will find my body and launch an epic investigation sponsored by Johnson & Johnson, a family company.
Trivia night was a sprawling conversation. Jake, Bill, and I exchanged stories until almost 2 a.m.
I then snuck back into the tunnel, fetched my car, and zipped back to Minneapolis, the city of clear parking restrictions.
I threw my groceries into my apartment, snatched my caretaker’s snow shovel from downstairs, and then ran outside to help excise the jeep.
The African couple in the jeep was screaming at each other and questioning their decision to move to America. We made progress on their car when a plumbing company’s van got stuck on the other side of the street.
Chaos ensued. Snow and smoke flew from the stalled vehicles. The Mexican plumbers cursed in Spanish. The Africans cursed in heavily accented English. A traffic jam developed.
Me: “There are stalled cars on both sides of my street. Each car is blocking an alley entrance and a traffic jam is building.”
311 operator: “Okay, so?”
Me: “Uh, well, can you send a tow truck or a plow truck to help? The cars are causing a traffic jam…”
311 operator: “I can send traffic control to give them a ticket.”
Me: “Well, that’s not going to help anyone. And traffic control just drove by and didn’t even stop to help.”
311 operator: “Sir, there’s a snow storm going on. We are busy dealing with real accidents and real emergencies. I can send someone out to give them a ticket, and that’s it. What is the car’s license plate number?”
Me: “Nevermind.”
Click.
People came out of apartments and cars to help push and shovel. Even the Africans briefly stopped worrying about their own car to help push the van.
No progress was happening with the van. Then, suddenly the van lurched backwards and looked like it was going to T-bone the African’s car. There was screaming, but the van managed to stop 2 inches from the driver’s door. The van then slid back across the street and promptly got restuck.
The van driver ran to a nearby apartment building and summoned a small troupe of Mexicans to help him push the van. I then helped the Africans shovel around their car and we eventually got them unstuck.
Between the Mexicans and the other drivers, we had a small mob of people to help excise the van. The van driver was so happy when we freed his van, that he passed around $5 bills to the crowd.
Score!
