I’m in hour six of the fees committee meeting. One of our committee members is on the speakerphone. He was silent for 15 minutes of discussion:
Guy on speakerphone: “Can you just paraphrase what was just said? I didn’t hear anything.”
Committee chair: “Uh…we didn’t say much.”
Speakerphone: “That’s what I figured.”
I learned a few things by reviewing this week’s tweets:
Lesson #1: Student Fees Committee = Hilarity.
Tweet (Feb 14): I think this fee committee paperwork deforested a small country…
Student fees committee hearings dominated last weekend. The public hearing is tomorrow.
I spent a good chunk of time today with the 4-inch-thick brick binder of fees proposals. I also printed off the majority and minority rationales. I probably deforested a small country in the process. Al Gore would not approve…
Last week’s student fees committee debate was “spirited” (in the Nancy Pelosi sense of the word.) Tomorrow’s hearing is going to be a case study in awkward.
Lesson #2: I’m way clumsier than anyone will ever know:
8:39 PM Feb 9th: Chamomile tea bag explosion … non verbal annoyance being expressed in library…
9:46 AM Feb 10th: I’m the one in the corner of the law library covered peanut shells.
8:11 AM Feb 11th: My cologne? It’s called “spilled” and from the House of Maxwell.
7:06 PM Feb 12th: I would break my glasses the night before a 9am interview wouldn’t I?
The left leg from my glass frame snapped Thursday night. This meant the bus ride to my job interview was a blurry affair. After the interview I went to LensCrafters and was robbed.
My salesperson kept telling me I was getting a “great deal” and “massive” discounts. I don’t believe him. The $400 charge on may have something to do with that. My wallet is still wincing.
Lesson #3: I’m smooth…sort of:
8:25 PM Feb 9th: soda cans open EXTRA LOUD in a library… I pull out the diet mountain dew and the girl across the way looks at me like “DON’T YOU DARE!”…
8:25 PM Feb 9th: The trick is to hold the soda can very low, open it, and then look around like, “who did that?”
Lesson #4: The library is a hot mess:
9:02 PM Feb 10th: I think someone is smoking in the law library… it’s a scented cigar(?) or…
11:25 AM Feb 11th: so he crashes into his seat, slams his books down, and starts picking his skin (and biting nails)… undergrad library = constant amusement
12:05 PM Feb 10th: is waiting for creepy [Wilson Library] Barista to go on break before I get coffee. He called me “sport” then “buddy”…what’s next? I’m scared.
The campus security alerts at UMiami were never this interesting:
On Saturday, February 7 at approximately 2:30 a.m., a 22-year-old male who is not affiliated with the University of Minnesota was the victim of an armed robbery and assault on the West Bank Plaza near Anderson Hall.
The victim was walking across the West Bank Plaza when he was approached by a group of four to six males. The group assaulted the victim, striking him with a metal pipe and kicking and punching him. During the assault, the suspects took the victim’s watch and car keys.
The victim eventually fled to safety, but did sustain injuries that required medical treatment.
That’s why I don’t feel bad crossing the street.
There’s generally more crime at UMinnesota than UMiami. There are several reasons for this: UMinnesota is 5 times bigger than UMiami (50,000+ students vs. 10,000).
The main UMN campus is and less than a mile from downtown Minneapolis and surrounded by low income and student housing, whereas UMiami is tucked away in an affluent suburb 8 miles from downtown Miami.
UMiami also has vastly better security (for humans at least). The campus is littered with cameras, rent-a-cops, and real cops. The campus is also so flood-lit that it resembles a sound stage at night.
A core difference is the nature of the schools: Miami is private, Minnesota is public. At UMiami, campus security booted those who obviously didn’t fit in and issued trespass warnings as if they were parking tickets. Although there was that random homeless lady who lived in the bushes near Miami’s business school…
UMN definitely doesn’t have the big boarding school feel of UMiami.
Homeless people are omnipresent, especially in the libraries. There are also characters: an old guy with a ponytail (and beret!) sings for tips outside of the Wilson library. Gypsies play the violin on the Washington Avenue bridge. There’s also fundamentalist preacher who stands near the student union and tells passersby exactly why, how, and when they are going to hell.
Yes, I’m serious.
The law school is its own little world in the chaos that is UMinnesota. I think the doors of the building lock at 7pm and there’s usually a student security-assistant within earshot.
Just don’t expect me to hang around outside of the law school in the middle of the night any time soon…
The mystery bike groper has been caught! The University just emailed this out:
On 1/30, UMPD issued a public safety alert in response to a series of criminal sexual contacts around campus. Today’s Star Tribune is reporting an arrest in the case:
Man arrested in groping of 9 women at U
February 4, 2009
A man suspected of groping several women on the University of Minnesota campus was arrested Tuesday night and jailed on suspicion of criminal sexual conduct.
University police arrested the 41-year-old man on the East Bank campus after a woman complained that she had been molested about 8:30 p.m.
She was at least the ninth woman, most of them students, who have grabbed in the genital area by a man who sometimes was riding a bicycle.
The first assaults occurred in December, when two women were groped, and resumed last Thursday, when three women were victimized.
After two more women were groped this week, Minneapolis police issued a crime alert and university police increased patrols on the campus.
About 8:30 p.m., university police dispatchers received a call about a woman who had been touched inappropriately by a man in front of the McNamara Alumni Center.
Police said the suspect was last seen observed running towards the Aquatics Center, but after checking the East Bank and Dinkytown areas, officers spotted a man who matched the description offered by the victim on the West Bank campus.
As the officers were arresting the man, dispatchers told them about another groping that had occurred about 20 minutes earlier on Washington Avenue SE in front of Moos Tower. Both victims, who are students at the university, were brought to the suspect, where they identified the man as their attacker.
While the man was being told of the charges he was facing, he confessed, police said.
The suspect, with a listed address in Brooklyn Center, was booked into the Hennepin County Jail at 11:30 p.m. He has “no known affiliation” with the university, police said.
— BOB VON STERNBERG
© 2009 Star Tribune. All rights reserved.
At Java City:
Me: “May I have a latte, whole milk, with five shots?”
Java City Girl: “How many shots?!”
Me: “Five.”
Java City Girl: “You want five shots in your latte?!”
Me: “Yes. And whole milk. Don’t judge me. Thanks”
…and now for my stint at the nice library.
The school is demolishing a building on/along the Washington Avenue bridge.
After taking a few pictures, I realized that standing right next to a partial bridge demolition (while on the bridge) is not a bright idea…
University of Minnesota’s mascot is Goldy the Golden Gopher. There’s a wooden statute of Goldy in front of the school recreation center:
Hey, at least we aren’t the Beavers right?
Several of my housemates have started busing home because of the cold.
I walked home for lunch, but decided to try the bus-thing after school..
After 5 minutes on the bus I had an epiphany: The University of Minnesota has campuses in St. Paul and Minneapolis. The campus connector bus probably connects the campuses…
I looked out the window and realized the bus was on the expressway to St. Paul. Doh.
Next time I take the campus shuttle...
I eventually get back to Minneapolis and buy a McFlurry from McDonald’s. The nice thing about -8 is that McFlurrys don’t melt on the way home…
30 minutes later I’m in the living room watching TV with some housemates. The doorbell rings.
It’s a woman smoking a cigarette, holding a 12-pack of beer and a pitbull-lab mix on a leash.
Woman: “I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I’m going to stay at a hotel tonight or something…Can I wait in your foyer while I wait for the cab? I gave them your address…”
So we had a pitbull running around the living room while three of us were looking up dog-friendly hotels…
***update… my housemate just walked out with a bat in a box… I guess another bat got in the house…
Housemate #1: “Aww! The bat looked so cute! It was so small!”
Housemate #2: “What? No! I was gonna go bat-shit on that bat!”
Housemate #1: “Oh look, my humidifier just came! I’m gonna go humidify myself!
Things are too weird right now. I’m going to bed.
One of the best libraries at the University of Minnesota is the Science & Engineering Library on the East Bank:
Me (on phone): “Oh, it snowed about four inches today. I know because I’m looking at a table right now.”
Yesterday reminded me why I love college campuses during winter break.
I spent most of the day reading in The Cube. The Cube is a square-shaped reading area attached to the student union.
The Cube is at the mouth of the Washington Avenue bridge and wedged between Washington Avenue and an off ramp. Here’s an image from wikipedia:
This seems like a horrible spot for a glass reading area, but the view is amazing.
Downtown Minneapolis is visible, and cars whizzing by are not as distracting as I expected.
During the semester The Cube is as quiet as Circuit City on Black Friday…but yesterday it was just professors and international students. I loved it.
On the way home I stopped at the House of Ho, the overpriced neighborhood grocery store. There was a sale on frozen Pizzas.
I baked a pizza for the first time a few weeks ago. Let’s just say it involved some smoke and dodging Jamie’s glares. I decided to try again and…
Great success!
I’ll probably go back to The Cube today if I can peel myself away from this marathon of The First 48. I recognize most of the places in the Miami episodes. They occasionally have a body from the neighborhood…
It’s hard watching this show sometimes. Suspects keep telling the police, “I took part in the robbery but I didn’t shoot him!” not realizing that this is enough to get convicted.
I almost wanted to cheer when a suspect finally told the cops “screw you I want a lawyer!” But then I realized, wait, he’s probably guilty. Hm.
Anyhoot, one more episode (there’s a serial killer in this one!) and I’m cutting myself off.
The day started with TruTV , (formerly CourtTV).
I watched about an hour of the Tyler Edmonds murder trial and then went to the law school.
The law school bookstore looked like it was going out of business: a very bored manager and isles full of boxed books. All of the undergrad assistants must still be on break.
Only half of my books were available – not that I’m in any hurry – classes start in two weeks and there are no assignment sheets/syllabi online.
And no, I’m not being gunnertastic – it would be much easier to read at a leisurely pace instead of getting bitch slapped in two weeks with three new classes, job applications, and legal writing.
One of my books for Corporations is three inches thick. My book may be the sole cause of deforestation, global warming, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. The EPA should fine the publisher. The book barely fit in my locker! I eventually (after much heaving and griping) stuffed the brick in my locker.
It’s going to stay there until I get my reading assignments…
After the bookstore I went to Coffman and finished rereading The Broker by John Grisham. I then walked around campus. It was cold, but beautiful.
The only problem with this weather is that I constantly have “let it snow” in my head…
I did some shoveling and then sat down for the Law & Order “mini-marathon” on TNT. The original Law & Order is my favorite show from the franchise because there’s an actual ‘law’ part. SVU and Criminal Intent are almost strictly detective shows. If I want a detective show I’ll watch The First 48.
Winter vacation is nice, but it’s beginning to feel more like rehab than a break. I’m ready to get started again.
The things one misses during law school!
Today’s project is taming my inbox.I have 36 pages of unsorted emails. 260 are unread.
As I sifted through the junk I came across a school police alert from 12/10 – there was a genital grabbing incident and an indecent exposure…
On Tuesday, December 9, at approximately 6:00 p.m., a University of Minnesota student was the victim of criminal sexual contact involving inappropriate sexual contact on Washington Avenue.
The victim was walking westbound on Washington Avenue in front of Moos Tower when the suspect ran up behind her and grabbed her genital area. The suspect then ran off. The suspect is described as a black male with a dark complexion, approximately six feet three inches to six feet four inches tall with a light build. The suspect had scruffy facial hair and was wearing a black, bulky jacket and a stocking cap.
Also on December 9, at approximately 7:00 p.m., a University of Minnesota student was a victim of indecent exposure near the Science Classroom Building on Pleasant Street.
As the victim walked toward the Science Classroom Building, a man approached and exposed himself to her. The suspect then fled north on Pleasant Street. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid-40s, approximately five feet seven inches to five feet eleven inches tall. The suspect was wearing round glasses, a navy blue jacket and a dark stocking cap.
The two crimes are believed to be separate and unrelated. Anyone with information about either incident is asked to contact the University of Minnesota Police Department at 612-624-COPS (2677).
I’ve never heard of a surprise genital grabbing before…nor have I heard of Moos tower. Hm.
* Note: while the times seem extremely early, remember it’s pitch-black in Minneapolis around 5:30pm.
So, I completely forgot to write about this: the day before my Contracts exam, I passed through campus and saw this interesting-looking building:
There’s snow on the ground. That means that my fall pictures are no longer current, so I threw all of the semester’s left over pictures on facebook.
Usually…
Professor V: “People who conspire to act against federal law don’t advertise that fact in the Wall Street Journal…”
Not so hypothetical hypo:
Professor T: “Suppose the 35W bridge collapses…”
Jill’s blunt summary:
Jill: “So the doctor operates on this woman and she starts leaking urine in places where urine is not supposed to be…”
Librarians aren’t all looks:
Research Librarian: “Use librarians! We are more than just eye candy: we are professionals.”
Asides:
Professor T: “This is an absolutely true story – sometimes I embellish the facts – but this is an absolutely true story…”
Professor L: “When you’re talking about a diseased cow, or a germ infected rag – I know it’s a bit early for this case – but the court says…”
As if I needed yet another café to add to my 15-odd study places! A new Dunn Brothers store opened on campus. It’s called the “River Road Café”, and it’s part of a swank, newly renovated building.
The coolest thing about this place is the tables. They feature some of the pellets from the former mineral resources center.
