Best Year Ever: Outline of Fall Semester

Blogging is a cumulative thing. And times like this, it is awesome to have a blog because I just finished my first year of law school and I have a record of my year. I forgot about most of the things I wrote about, and it’s nice to have a record somewhere.

So yes, I’m sitting here with a diet A&W and paging¹ through my archives (cue the Wonder Years theme song) and I must say, my first year of law school was an extremely fun and hilarious experience.

An outline of fall semester is after the jump. The bullet points are linked to posts. This will hopefully provide an overview of the year and make my archives more accessible. This outline is not exhaustive, but hits the highlights of the year.

Fall Semester Pre-Orientation:

• I arrive in Minneapolis, and get denied by the school gym.
• My first weekend in Minnesota: stereotypical accents and Mall of America!
• Exploring Minneapolis…cue the Mary Tyler Moore theme…
• I learned that Minnesotans are crazy.
• Explored St. Paul
• All-day stake out in the living room for my precious, precious books.
• Getting to know the housemates at Lucy’s Bday party!
• My gamma room is sooo gross! Bleh!
• Still Chilling: all the other blawggers have started school…and UMN students are riding roller coasters…
• Minnesotans are crazy, and so are foreign exchange students: French student “Jan” makes his appearance.
• My housemate’s epically long day.

Orientation

• Orientation day 1: the gunner declares herself.
• Yes, I speak Starbucks.
• Days 2&3: Wait? Am I the only black kid in our class?

Week 1: Green as can be

• My first assignment: with a trucker stache!
• First day of class: time to lose my U-card!
• My key gets stuck in the door…and hilarity ensued.
• The Gamma house was burglarized
• Gamma “Disorientation” party including off-the-chain Irish exchange students who DEMANDED “Riiiverdance!”

  

Week 2: getting adjusted

• The professors are funny rather than scary:
  Professor V: “I was going to get all hysterical about a student using the wrong form of “its” but then I saw it on an ABA website this morning — so welcome to the club!”
  Professor L: “Marshall defines commerce as intercourse, and since we aren’t in high school we don’t have to go “tee hee hee” about his word choice.”
• Westlaw attorney says fail 1L…just fail.
• Hey, these cases are actually funny too!
• Torts is ridiculous.

Weeks 3 & 4: this is fun!

• Torts is still ridiculous.
• Congrats! You got a study carrel! It’s located in the bathroom…
• Began to realize that some days are busier than others.
• Professor L comes to class with a bruised nose – the cause? Her dog!
• Housemate has the first (of many) school computer nightmares.
• We are trying to study, but the drama is too distracting!
• One of our housemates threatens to skin us…wtf?
• I draw on walls.
• Stay away from the breakfast burritos after noon.
• Jill gets feisty.
  Professor T: “Jill, what about our natural, inalienable rights? Where do they come from?” Jill: “I don’t know, I was a business major.”
• Professor L becomes a favorite.
• Read the worst written case ever.
• Horrified at the clubhouse: Leave the man-thong at home!
• Cleaning duty goes horribly, horribly wrong:

Week 5: things get crunchy

• Gamma potluck!
• So Pinocchio got some work done…diva please.
• Apparently flipflops are offensive
• Our foyer is NOT a bathroom!
• Clubs, restaurants, and bad old-man weave.

Week 6 & 7: Middle of the semester already?

• The students are almost as funny as the professors.
• Let’s get political! Sippin on the hateraid…
• Made it to contracts dry!
• Torts is still ridiculous.
• The Gaffe Rule: everyone messes up at least …10 times.
• River Road Cafe... fancy!
• I found some tape, and then:
• Apparently the librarians are more than just eye candy.
• Sea of girls: Lesbian night in the neighborhood.
• Professor C dashes our academic hopes.
• Professor V on codeine

Week 8 & 9: Legal writing and Halloween

• First practice exam:
  I stopped. Reread the question, exhaled, and then silently thought, “What. The. Fuck.”
• Professor C kinda loses it.
• Jill became: “that girl.”
• Words of…encouragement?
• Wait, is THAT SNOW?
• Jansen takes a tumble: best bike crash ever.
• Exam advice to scare you
• Souless Affection concert:
• The mess in St. Paul:
  Housemate: “How was last night?”
  Me: “It was $1 drink night at the clubhouse so I was stalked by a guy who claimed to be my twin and had to peel my friend off a 50-year-old.”
• Saw Cazwell live! (He’s a gay rapper and it quite amazing.)
• DJ-ed at the Gamma Halloween Party

Week 10: the ice arrives

• Jill gets paid
• Socratic abandonment: Professors ARE aware of our schedule after all!
  
• When the horse evacuates his bowels…
• Professor: you want me to call you WHAT?

Week 11: networking, studying, and the remmidemmi

• Yes, torts is still ridiculous.
• Lindsay Lohan and Cows: This is how I take notes.
• Civpro: featuring Diana Ross!
  
• Asylum Law Project Auction

Weeks 12 & 13: Miami, concerts, and outlining

• Jill is still feisty.
• Crime, and an apology to the Stacks
• Saw Fedde Le Grand & Moon Goons:
• Torts is still ridiculous.
• More crime…my goodness!
• Greetings from Miami!
• The sketchy “ice cream” man
• Ciao Miami!
• Moo notes (more One Note amazingness)
• Jack blanks.
• The Big Box fiasco… oh my GOD…customer service/public transit nightmare.

Week 14 & 15: End of the semester and finals!

• Drama at the ice rink!
• Art car…fancy!
• Professor L vs. Palin
• Fall pictures…like a lot of them.
• Ms. D dropped out a long time ago.
• Conlaw ends
• When to stop studying for finals
• Toilet shopping & installation
• Why I avoid the law library
• Contracts final & introduction to Blagovich
• Conlaw review session
• Black people don’t drink coffee?
• Exploring campus (still!) and getting creeped out…
• Big Box Fiasco Part II (UGH!)
• Tort snowmen!
• Coffee & Sophie Ellis Bextor…what more do I need?
• More than bitterly cold?
• Lindsay & Vanessa present: FRCP Rule 18a
• Crossclaim Showdown: Boy George, Solange, and Beyonce
• Day before Civpro final…
• Done with Civpro!
  Housemate: “That wasn’t multiple choice! That was multiple rings of hell!”

And we ended the semester with bowling and book burning.

I will post outlines of winter and spring later tonight. It’s time to walk Harley!

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¹ Several 0Ls have paged through the entirety of this blog. I know that sounds nuts, but things are different when you’re twiddling your thumbs during that summer before law school. I was a prolific reader during my 0L summer as well…